10 Reasons it Would Suck to Keep a Hurricane As a Pet
1. Where will you keep it?
I suppose you could just rope off the Bay of Campeche…with ridges.
2. How will you feed it?
Their diet may be 100% warm seawater, but DAMN do these guys need a lot of it. Like just ten hours without 200 feet deep oceans of it and they drop dead. Remember folks, a hungry cane is not a happy cane.
3. House-training a hurricane is hard.
Forget litter box litter, you need sand bags.
4. Heating costs
What are you going to do about upwelling, huh? I guess you could stick a ton of aquarium heaters on the seafloor.
5. Beach parties are sooooo out.
At least you can now carry the beach with you when you go for walks inland.
6. Toys
“Fetch the oil rig!” gets tiring after a while.
7. You can’t have a multi-hurricane household.
Aww, you think they look so cute doing the Fujiwhara together? Wait until your Category 5 shreds your new tropical storm with its outflow and eats its remnant moisture for breakfast.
8. NOAA does not do house calls.
Who do you contact if your hurricane gets sick? “Hi…is this the NHC? My Bob just swallowed a ton of dry air and I think he needs his stomach pumped.”
9. You can’t name it.
I mean, I suppose Alicia is a nice name, but what if you want to call your new pet Azriel the Angel of Destruction? You’ll need to take that one up with the World Meteorological Organization.
10. It might kill you or someone you know.
I know you say your typhoon is a really friendly guy, and it couldn’t have been him, but I saw it throw a tree into my house while it was off leash.
=======
Also while the babies might look sweet and fluffy on satellite, I think they're kind of difficult to snuggle with.