Anyone have another list of funny nhc advisories like this one?

[cycloneye]

The first warning from JTWC on Typhoon Dora has this sentence.

DORA THE EXPLORER HAS DISCOVERED HER THIRD BASIN

[weeniepatrol]

Jose discussion number 11

Jose is likely near its peak intensity. There is no way Jose will
escape the outflow associated with Hurricane Franklin, that is
expected to begin affecting the small storm by midday Friday.

[Hurricane2022]

BULLETIN
Tropical Depression Gert Advisory Number 15
NWS National Hurricane Center Miami FL AL062023
1100 AM AST Fri Sep 01 2023

...GERT COULD BECOME A TROPICAL STORM AGAIN TODAY AFTER 11 DAYS...

[CyclonicFury]

This one is 11 days old now, but it's even funnier because Gert is still there.

BULLETIN
Tropical Storm Gert Advisory Number 9
NWS National Hurricane Center Miami FL AL062023
1100 AM AST Mon Aug 21 2023

...GERT IS STILL THERE BUT IT COULD DISSIPATE AT ANY TIME...

[underthwx]

HURRICANE FABIAN DISCUSSION NUMBER 15
NWS TPC/NATIONAL HURRICANE CENTER MIAMI FL
5 AM EDT SUN AUG 31 2003

FORECASTER AVILA CONTINUES TO INSIST...DESPITE ALL RECON
EVIDENCE...THAT IT WAS NOT HE WHO TOOK MY SANDWICH FROM THE
NHC FRIDGE. THIS ASSERTION IS NOT SUPPORTED BY FORECASTER
STEWART OR MY STATISTICAL MODELS...AND BASED ON THE TIGHT
CLUSTERING OF GUIDANCE...I AM ISSUING A WARNING FOR FORECASTER
AVILA...THAT HE HAD BETTER BRING HIS OWN LUNCH TOMORROW. THIS
WILL BE THE LAST WARNING ISSUED FOR FORECASTER AVILA.

$$ FORECASTER JACOBS

[underthwx]

The first warning from JTWC on Typhoon Dora has this sentence.

DORA THE EXPLORER HAS DISCOVERED HER THIRD BASIN

Lol

[Hurricane2022]

HURRICANE FABIAN DISCUSSION NUMBER 15
NWS TPC/NATIONAL HURRICANE CENTER MIAMI FL
5 AM EDT SUN AUG 31 2003

FORECASTER AVILA CONTINUES TO INSIST...DESPITE ALL RECON
EVIDENCE...THAT IT WAS NOT HE WHO TOOK MY SANDWICH FROM THE
NHC FRIDGE. THIS ASSERTION IS NOT SUPPORTED BY FORECASTER
STEWART OR MY STATISTICAL MODELS...AND BASED ON THE TIGHT
CLUSTERING OF GUIDANCE...I AM ISSUING A WARNING FOR FORECASTER
AVILA...THAT HE HAD BETTER BRING HIS OWN LUNCH TOMORROW. THIS
WILL BE THE LAST WARNING ISSUED FOR FORECASTER AVILA.

$$ FORECASTER JACOBS

??????????????? ??????????? ?????

[kevin]

HURRICANE FABIAN DISCUSSION NUMBER 15
NWS TPC/NATIONAL HURRICANE CENTER MIAMI FL
5 AM EDT SUN AUG 31 2003

FORECASTER AVILA CONTINUES TO INSIST...DESPITE ALL RECON
EVIDENCE...THAT IT WAS NOT HE WHO TOOK MY SANDWICH FROM THE
NHC FRIDGE. THIS ASSERTION IS NOT SUPPORTED BY FORECASTER
STEWART OR MY STATISTICAL MODELS...AND BASED ON THE TIGHT
CLUSTERING OF GUIDANCE...I AM ISSUING A WARNING FOR FORECASTER
AVILA...THAT HE HAD BETTER BRING HIS OWN LUNCH TOMORROW. THIS
WILL BE THE LAST WARNING ISSUED FOR FORECASTER AVILA.

$$ FORECASTER JACOBS

Lol this is my all-time favorite nhc advisory

[Hurricane2022]

JUST WHEN I WAS TEMPTED TO REDUCE THE INTENSITY TO 60 KT... EPSILON STARTED
TO AGAIN WRAP SOME CONVECTIVE BANDS OF MODEST DEPTH TIGHTLY AROUND
THE CENTER... SO IT REMAINS A 65-KT HURRICANE.

[WalterWhite]

JUST WHEN I WAS TEMPTED TO REDUCE THE INTENSITY TO 60 KT... EPSILON STARTED
TO AGAIN WRAP SOME CONVECTIVE BANDS OF MODEST DEPTH TIGHTLY AROUND
THE CENTER... SO IT REMAINS A 65-KT HURRICANE.

Is this Epsilon (2005) or Epsilon (2020)?

[Hurricane2022]

JUST WHEN I WAS TEMPTED TO REDUCE THE INTENSITY TO 60 KT... EPSILON STARTED
TO AGAIN WRAP SOME CONVECTIVE BANDS OF MODEST DEPTH TIGHTLY AROUND
THE CENTER... SO IT REMAINS A 65-KT HURRICANE.

Is this Epsilon (2005) or Epsilon (2020)?

2005

[Cachondo23]

...FOR THE SECOND MONTH IN A ROW GERT BECOMES A TROPICAL STORM...

[NotSparta]

HURRICANE FABIAN DISCUSSION NUMBER 15
NWS TPC/NATIONAL HURRICANE CENTER MIAMI FL
5 AM EDT SUN AUG 31 2003

FORECASTER AVILA CONTINUES TO INSIST...DESPITE ALL RECON
EVIDENCE...THAT IT WAS NOT HE WHO TOOK MY SANDWICH FROM THE
NHC FRIDGE. THIS ASSERTION IS NOT SUPPORTED BY FORECASTER
STEWART OR MY STATISTICAL MODELS...AND BASED ON THE TIGHT
CLUSTERING OF GUIDANCE...I AM ISSUING A WARNING FOR FORECASTER
AVILA...THAT HE HAD BETTER BRING HIS OWN LUNCH TOMORROW. THIS
WILL BE THE LAST WARNING ISSUED FOR FORECASTER AVILA.

$$ FORECASTER JACOBS

??????????????? ??????????? ?????

It's fake but still kind of funny

[WalterWhite]

Link: https://www.nhc.noaa.gov/archive/2005/d ... .030.shtml?

ZCZC MIATCDAT5 ALL
TTAA00 KNHC DDHHMM
TROPICAL DEPRESSION ZETA DISCUSSION NUMBER 30
NWS TPC/NATIONAL HURRICANE CENTER MIAMI FL
4 PM EST FRI JAN 06 2006

SHOWER ACTIVITY HAS CONTINUED TO DECREASE AND IS NOW LIMITED TO JUST
A FEW SKINNY BANDS OF SHALLOW CONVECTION WELL TO THE EAST OF THE
CENTER. AS SUCH... ZETA NO LONGER MEETS THE CRITERIA OF A TROPICAL
CYCLONE... WHICH MEANS THAT BOTH IT AND THE 2005 ATLANTIC HURRICANE
SEASON HAVE ENDED.

THE INITIAL MOTION ESTIMATE IS 285/6. ZETA HAS MADE A JOG BACK TO
THE NORTHWEST... BUT THE AVERAGE MOTION OVER THE PAST 18 HOURS HAS
BEEN WEST-NORTHWESTERLY AT ABOUT 06 KT. THE REMNANT CIRCULATION OF
ZETA IS FORECAST TO MOVE IN A WEST-NORTHWEST OR NORTHWESTWARD
DIRECTION FOR THE NEXT 24-36 HOURS... AND TURN NORTHWARD AFTERWARDS
AS THE REMNANT LOW COMES UNDER THE INFLUENCE OF INCREASING
SOUTHERLY LOW-LEVEL FLOW AHEAD OF A STRONG COLD FRONT CURRENTLY
MOVING EASTWARD ACROSS THE BAHAMAS. BY 72 HOURS... THE SKELETAL
REMAINS OF ZETA ARE EXPECTED TO DISSIPATE OR BE ABSORBED BY THE
FRONTAL SYSTEM.

I SUPPOSE IT IS ONLY FITTING THAT THE RECORD-BREAKING 2005 ATLANTIC
HURRICANE SEASON ENDS WITH A RECORD BREAKING STORM. TODAY... ZETA
SURPASSED 1954 ALICE #2 AS THE LONGEST-LIVED TROPICAL CYCLONE TO
FORM IN DECEMBER AND CROSS OVER INTO THE NEXT YEAR. ZETA WAS ALSO
THE LONGEST-LIVED JANUARY TROPICAL CYCLONE. IN ADDITION...ZETA
RESULTED IN THE 2005 SEASON HAVING THE LARGEST ACCUMULATED CYCLONE
ENERGY...OR ACE... SURPASSING THE 1950 SEASON. SO... UNTIL THE 2006
SEASON BEGINS... UNLESS ZETA SOMEHOW MAKES AN UNLIKELY MIRACLE
COMEBACK... THIS IS THE NATIONAL HURRICANE CENTER SIGNING OFF FOR
2005... FINALLY.

FORECASTER STEWART

FORECAST POSITIONS AND MAX WINDS

INITIAL 06/2100Z 23.4N 50.3W 25 KT...DISSIPATING
12HR VT 07/0600Z 24.0N 52.4W 25 KT...REMNANT LOW
24HR VT 07/1800Z 25.4N 54.8W 20 KT...REMNANT LOW
36HR VT 08/0600Z 27.8N 56.8W 20 KT...REMNANT LOW
48HR VT 08/1800Z 30.2N 57.0W 20 KT...REMNANT LOW
72HR VT 09/1800Z...DISSIPATED

$$
NNNN

[Iceresistance]

HURRICANE FABIAN DISCUSSION NUMBER 15
NWS TPC/NATIONAL HURRICANE CENTER MIAMI FL
5 AM EDT SUN AUG 31 2003

FORECASTER AVILA CONTINUES TO INSIST...DESPITE ALL RECON
EVIDENCE...THAT IT WAS NOT HE WHO TOOK MY SANDWICH FROM THE
NHC FRIDGE. THIS ASSERTION IS NOT SUPPORTED BY FORECASTER
STEWART OR MY STATISTICAL MODELS...AND BASED ON THE TIGHT
CLUSTERING OF GUIDANCE...I AM ISSUING A WARNING FOR FORECASTER
AVILA...THAT HE HAD BETTER BRING HIS OWN LUNCH TOMORROW. THIS
WILL BE THE LAST WARNING ISSUED FOR FORECASTER AVILA.

$$ FORECASTER JACOBS

??????????????? ??????????? ?????

It's fake but still kind of funny

Yeah, the first indication that it's not a real one (but funny though) is that it had "FORECASTER JARVINEN"

[zhukm29]

Gert's advisory 20 is pretty ruthless in describing Jose's demise as Franklin's lunch, and that Gert is facing a similar fate:

The global models remain consistent in showing the small circulation of Gert getting
torn apart by Idalia on Monday, reminiscent of the way that Franklin took care of Jose yesterday.

[Foxfires]

The guidance suite literally has motions in all cardinal directions after that point, indicating a very low confidence situation, and the GEFS ensemble lows show the proverbial squashed spider pattern

(this is apparently from Katia)

[cycloneye]

Papín.

Another prominent convective burst has formed over Philippe (the
storm) since the prior advisory.

[Iceresistance]

Advisory #24, we have (had) no idea what he is (was) going to do!

...PHILIPPE LIKELY TO LOITER JUST EAST OF THE NORTHERN LEEWARD ISLANDS FOR ANOTHER 3 TO 4 DAYS...

[WalterWhite]

ZCZC MIATCDAT3 ALL
TTAA00 KNHC DDHHMM
TROPICAL STORM DELTA DISCUSSION NUMBER 1
NWS TPC/NATIONAL HURRICANE CENTER MIAMI FL
5 PM EDT WED NOV 23 2005

THE 2005 ATLANTIC TROPICAL CYCLONE SEASON REFUSES TO END AS MODERATE
TO DEEP CONVECTION HAS PERSISTED FOR MORE THAN 12 HOURS AND HAS
WRAPPED ABOUT 75 PERCENT OF THE WAY AROUND THE CIRCULATION CENTER
OF THE LARGE NON-TROPICAL LOW PRESSURE SYSTEM LOCATED ABOUT 1000
NMI SOUTHWEST OF THE AZORES ISLANDS. AN EYE-LIKE FEATURE HAS
OCCASIONALLY APPEARED IN VARIOUS SATELLITE IMAGERY AS THE
INTENSIFYING CIRCULATION HAS WRAPPED IN DRY AIR FROM THE SOUTHWEST.
THE INITIAL INTENSITY OF 50 KT IS BASED ON A 0852Z QUIKSCAT
OVERPASS SHOWING A FEW 50-KT UNCONTAMINATED WIND VECTORS TO THE
NORTH... AND A 986.5 MB PRESSURE REPORT FROM BUOY 62556 LOCATED
ABOUT 50 NMI EAST OF THE CENTER AT 23/16Z. THAT BUOY PRESSURE ALSO
MAINTAINS CONTINUITY WITH THE 23/02Z PRESSURE OF 984.4 MB FROM BUOY
13534 WHEN IT WAS LOCATED ABOUT 40 NMI EAST OF THE CENTER. THE
50-KT INTENSITY OF TROPICAL STORM DELTA IS ALSO SUPPORTED BY A
TROPICAL SATELLITE INTENSITY ESTIMATE OF T3.0/45 KT FROM TAFB.

THE INITIAL MOTION ESTIMATE IS 165/08 KT. THE GLOBAL AND REGIONAL
MODELS ARE IN UNUSUALLY GOOD AGREEMENT ON DELTA BOTTOMING OUT IN
LATITUDE BY ABOUT 24 HOURS...BEFORE TURNING BACK TO THE NORTH. THE
MAN DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE MODELS IS WHETHER DELTA TURNS EAST OR
WEST OF 40W LONGITUDE BEFORE IT TURNS BACK TO THE NORTH. I HAVE
OPTED TO TURN THE TRACK COUNTERCLOCKWISE TO THE EAST AND THEN
NORTH... GIVEN THAT DELTA IS EMBEDDED WITHIN A LARGER AND
VERTICALLY DEEP CYCLONIC GYRE. THE FORECAST TRACK IS SIMILAR IN
SPEED TO... BUT IS RIGHT OF... THE NHC MODEL CONSENSUS.

THE 850-200 MB VERTICAL SHEAR ACROSS DELTA IS FORECAST TO DECREASE
FROM THE CURRENT 50 KT DOWN TO 22 KT IN 36 HOURS. HOWEVER...GIVEN
THAT DELTA IS SHALLOWER THAN CLASSICAL TROPICAL CYCLONES... LESS
SHEAR IS SUGGESTED BY UW-CIMSS WATER VAPOR WINDS OF 20-30 KT AT 300
MB...WHICH IS ABOUT 10-20 KT LESS THAN AT 200 MB. ANTICYCLONIC
OUTFLOW HAS ALSO BECOME ESTABLISHED IN ALL QUADRANTS...SO SOME
ADDITIONAL SLIGHT STRENGTHENING IS POSSIBLE AS DELTA MOVES
SOUTHWARD OVER SLIGHTLY WARMER SSTS OF 25.5C FOR THE NEXT 36 HOURS.

FORECASTER STEWART

FORECAST POSITIONS AND MAX WINDS

INITIAL 23/2100Z 25.9N 40.5W 50 KT
12HR VT 24/0600Z 25.1N 40.2W 55 KT
24HR VT 24/1800Z 24.7N 39.7W 60 KT
36HR VT 25/0600Z 25.0N 39.4W 60 KT
48HR VT 25/1800Z 26.0N 39.5W 55 KT
72HR VT 26/1800Z 28.0N 39.5W 55 KT...BECOMING EXTRATROPICAL
96HR VT 27/1800Z 32.0N 40.0W 50 KT...EXTRATROPICAL
120HR VT 28/1800Z 36.0N 42.0W 50 KT...EXTRATROPICAL

$$
NNNN