Okies. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you. My concern is that it may be a desperate ploy on his part and that he's only willing to make temporary adjustments to his behaviour. Unfortunately I have to agree with Ptarmigan, the rock and Derek. Substance abuse is very serious business. There are too many danger signals here to ignore, so take extreme care.
I say this not to cast aspersions or make judgements, but to testify to my own experiences. I've seen situations like this turn out quite badly. The hawk is watchful and quick to take action when necessary. Be like the hawk, Cajungal.
Trying to heal myself of a broken heart this Christmas
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george_r_1961
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He said he was not going to drink during the week anymore only weekends.
From experience I can tell u its not gonna work out like that Cajungal. He will find some excuse to have "one or two" during the week.
Alcoholism and substance abuse is serious matter.
You bet it is. And even in this day and age it gets downplayed.
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therock1811
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dump the bum is all I can say cgal. There is no room in a relationship for a drunk, and 99% of the time, the pattern repeats and/or gets worse.
That being said, I am all in favor of a 2nd chance for almost any infraction, but only ONE. IF this has happened repeatedely then I fear you are part of the problem for letting it continue.
I hope your not offended by my frankness, but you have posted this for opinions/advice, not necessarily support. I spent 15 years with an abusive alchoholic wife, and I knew she was a problem after one week. But I blew it!
That being said, I am all in favor of a 2nd chance for almost any infraction, but only ONE. IF this has happened repeatedely then I fear you are part of the problem for letting it continue.
I hope your not offended by my frankness, but you have posted this for opinions/advice, not necessarily support. I spent 15 years with an abusive alchoholic wife, and I knew she was a problem after one week. But I blew it!
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cajungal
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- Location: Schriever, Louisiana (60 miles southwest of New Orleans)
I never did update on this situation. But, the relationship has been over for going on 2 months now. On Wednesday, Feb 7th, he came pick me up after he got off work. And he told me he was taking me out to eat. When he came pick me up, he was acting really quiet and not saying a word to me. I asked him what was wrong. He said that it had nothing to do with me, that he was being quiet because he knew I did not want to hear it. So, I said okay and left it that. Just thought he had a bad day at work because he was always complaining about his job. Once we got to the restarant, ordered, and our food came, he started talking more. And everything seemed normal. He was even talking about Valentines Day which was a week later and where we were going out for dinner. After we ate, we left and went back to his house to watch American Idol. We laughed and joked during the show and the commercials. Again, everything seemed okay. Then, he said his friend called and needed a ride to Wal-mart. It was around 8:30 p.m. at this point. So, I said okay. And we go pick up his friend who did not have a car. And he said he was just going to bring me home since it was getting late. We talked and joked the whole ride home. Then, he pulled into my driveway and we kissed goodnight. And he kept telling me that he loved me over and over. And then he called me on my cell around 10:30 p.m. that night to tell me he got back home from Wal-mart okay. And he asked me what time I got off work the next day. I told him 6 p.m. and should be home no later than 6:30. He told me he would give me a call around then.
Well, the next day I get home from work around 6:30, and he never called. I did not think it was a big deal at the time because I thought maybe he was just busy and lost track of the time. When it got to be 8:00 p.m. and still have not heard from him, I called him. He did not answer his phone. I tried several times after, but when it got to be 9:30 p.m. and he still was not answering. I started to get angry and upset and worried all at the same time. So, I had a friend that lives near him, ride by his house to see if his car was there. She called me back shortly after to say that it was. And he was in the driveway drinking with 3 of his guy friends. So, I was upset that he was not answering his phone or returning my calls. And drove to my friends house in my pajamas because I needed a friend to talk and vent to.
Never, ever heard back from him. Left him a text message asking him is something was wrong and to talk to me about it. He still refused to respond. 3 days later, still had no clue what had happened. And his friend walks into the store while I was working. He said that he got really drunk that night, went out to the club, was making out with another girl. And was even giving out his phone number. He did not even have the guts to break up with me. Just refused all my phone calls. And I had no clue nothing was wrong. I mean I could see if we got in a fight the night before or something. And his friend went on to tell me that he tried to hit his stepdad that night. And even got in his mom's face. I am glad it is over, don't need someone like that. But, the hurt and pain is still there. Glad it is over, just hate the way it ended. And feel like I can never trust anyone again.
Well, the next day I get home from work around 6:30, and he never called. I did not think it was a big deal at the time because I thought maybe he was just busy and lost track of the time. When it got to be 8:00 p.m. and still have not heard from him, I called him. He did not answer his phone. I tried several times after, but when it got to be 9:30 p.m. and he still was not answering. I started to get angry and upset and worried all at the same time. So, I had a friend that lives near him, ride by his house to see if his car was there. She called me back shortly after to say that it was. And he was in the driveway drinking with 3 of his guy friends. So, I was upset that he was not answering his phone or returning my calls. And drove to my friends house in my pajamas because I needed a friend to talk and vent to.
Never, ever heard back from him. Left him a text message asking him is something was wrong and to talk to me about it. He still refused to respond. 3 days later, still had no clue what had happened. And his friend walks into the store while I was working. He said that he got really drunk that night, went out to the club, was making out with another girl. And was even giving out his phone number. He did not even have the guts to break up with me. Just refused all my phone calls. And I had no clue nothing was wrong. I mean I could see if we got in a fight the night before or something. And his friend went on to tell me that he tried to hit his stepdad that night. And even got in his mom's face. I am glad it is over, don't need someone like that. But, the hurt and pain is still there. Glad it is over, just hate the way it ended. And feel like I can never trust anyone again.
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cajungal
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- Location: Schriever, Louisiana (60 miles southwest of New Orleans)
LaPlaceFF wrote:Wow! He is a real jerk!!!
Yeah, I agree. He is 26 years old and acting very childish like we were in high school. He was not even man enough to break up with me or talk to me about it if he was that unhappy with me. I got no explanation whatsoever. Not a goodbye. Nothing. If it would of not been for his friend Tyler, I would still be searching for answers to this day. If I had a warning, like if we were fighting or something, then maybe I could see.... Well, this past Saturday night I ran into him out of the club while I was listening to a band with my friends. To make a long story short, as I was leaving to go home, he pulled me aside. And kept saying that he never stopped loving me etc... It was probably just drunken words. Because I told him if he loved or cared anything about me, that he would have the decency to at least break up with me first. And he would of not moved on to another girl the very next day. It was a 7-month relationship, not a one month relationship. I guess everything happens for a reason. I am never taking him back, EVER. Even though it still hurts what he did.
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LaPlaceFF
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It really hurts when you find out the hard way. I was told once that my girlfriend (at that time-1995) was cheating on me when I was away at Nicholls. I found out years after the fact. Now that I am almost 40 I don't know if I can do the dating thing again. I am going through a divorce and I'm really wondering if I can maintain a relationship.
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Derek Ortt
What a jerk he is. I'm so sorry for the pain you're going thru but believe in yourself and know that you really deserve much better and never, ever settle for someone that thinks so little of your feelings. Just think of that relationship like a big roller coaster ride. You had the highest highs and the lowest lows. When you got off the ride you got sick at your stomach and decided to NEVER get on that ride again. You WILL find someone who will appreciate you and love you for the wonderful person that you are. Remember that loving yourself comes first. Special ((HUGS))
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