TWW'S CRAZY NEWS STORIES

[TexasStooge]

Blogger turns paper clip into house

TORONTO (Reuters) - A Canadian man was handed the keys to a three-bedroom house Wednesday, exactly a year after he offered a red paper clip online, asking to trade it for "bigger or better" things.

In his latest trade, Kyle MacDonald, 26, swapped a bit role in a Hollywood movie for a house in the small Western Canadian town of Kipling, Saskatchewan.

When he started his quest with the paper clip, MacDonald said getting a house was his goal.

He traded in the paper clip for a fish pen and eventually moved up to an afternoon with rocker Alice Cooper before snagging the Hollywood movie role in his 14th trade.

Wednesday, the mayor of Kipling presented MacDonald with the house in return for a role in the movie "Donna on Demand," starring Corbin Bernsen.

Kipling, population 1,140, will give the role to the winner of a contest it plans to hold in September. "We're getting some very positive attention, and that never hurts any community," Mayor Pat Jackson said in a telephone interview.

Local businesses have donated housewarming gifts such as flowers and wine, and a 12-foot red paper clip has been erected in the front yard. The town plans to build "the world's largest red paper clip" at a yet-to-be-determined location.

MacDonald, who lives in Montreal, has become an Internet and media sensation during his series of swaps, garnering interviews and attention from as far away as Japan.

He said on his Web site that he and his girlfriend will move into his new house before September and plan to throw "Saskatchewan's biggest housewarming party ever."

[TexasStooge]

Mind your language, this is Malaysia

KUALA LUMPUR (Reuters) - Language experts want to give Malaysia's literary agency the power to prosecute anyone who violates the purity of the Malay language, a newspaper said Thursday.

Bahasa Melayu, spoken by ethnic Malays who account for just over half the population, is Malaysia's official language, but English is widely spoken, with Chinese dialects and Tamil used by those of Chinese or Indian descent.

The guardians of Malaysia's heritage would have their work cut out for them if the National Language (Purity and Preservation) Act 2006 became law, and not least while monitoring sessions of parliament, the Sun newspaper said.

"A language campaign when our honorable MPs are engaged in full-throated name-calling would undoubtedly yield a handsome crop of summonses and an arrest warrant or two, to boot," it said in an editorial comment.

But the wider population ran many risks, too.

"Do you freeze in mid-sentence and unscramble your corrupted grammar lest the sharp-eared pundits of the language house haul you up for the willful murder of the gerund?" the paper asked.

[TexasStooge]

Hospitalized smoker burns room, is hurt

DALLAS, Texas (The Dallas Morning News) - A patient wearing an oxygen mask lit a cigarette and ignited a fire Thursday that charred his room at Methodist Dallas Medical Center, fire officials said.

The man suffered significant burns and was taken to Parkland Memorial Hospital, said Kim Hollon, an executive vice president of the Methodist Health System.

The fire broke out about 7:45 p.m. on the hospital's 10th floor and forced 114 patients to move. No one besides the man was seriously hurt.

"He somehow got the strength to smoke a cigarette with a nonremovable [oxygen] mask," said Dallas Fire-Rescue Capt. Paul Martinez.

"I don't know how he did it, but he did it."

The automatic sprinkler in the room prevented the blaze from becoming a larger emergency, Capt. Martinez said.

A nurse quickly pulled the patient from his burning bed. Nearby machinery melted.

"The fire would have advanced to the hallway horizontally and then vertically. Instead of eight or nine alarms, it was just two alarms," Capt. Martinez said. "Everything worked like it was supposed to."

[TexasStooge]

Police seek clown-face robbers after rampage

SEATTLE, Wash. (Reuters) - Police are on the lookout for members of a machete-wielding gang in angry clown make-up after a rampage of robbery and violence that left nearly two dozen people injured in a park in western Washington state.

The group, who said they were "juggalos," devotees of the Detroit-based rap-metal group Insane Clown Posse, attacked and robbed visitors to Fort Steilacoom Park while shouting "Woo, woo, juggalo!" to each other, according to court documents.

Prosecutors in Pierce County south of Seattle charged three people with assault and robbery last week, but police in the City of Lakewood said they are searching for another eight to 10 suspects who took part.

According to police reports, some members of the gang wore black hooded sweatshirts or clown make-up and told victims they would "cut their heads off" with machetes. They stole cash, wallets and cell phones, the reports said.

"We don't see too many attacks like this," said Lakewood police Lt. Dave Guttu.

Juggalos often dress in black and wear clown face paint.

[TexasStooge]

Spitting lands policeman in hot water

HYDERABAD, India (Reuters) - Spitting in public is common in India but doing so on the public landed an Indian police constable in southern Andhra Pradesh state in hot water.

Police said Friday that K.R. Rao spat on students demonstrating against a rise in tuition fees for engineering colleges this week, provoking further protests by outraged parents and their children in Warangal town.

The outcry forced the police to take action against Rao, who has served in the force for seven years, suspending him on half-pay for three months.

"The incident is a black spot on the image of the people-friendly police in this district," said Warangal Superintendent of Police Stephen Ravindra.

[TexasStooge]

Amazing maize maze

LONDON, England (Reuters) - A British fan of the cult TV show "Star Trek" has boldly gone where no man has gone before and created a giant maize maze dedicated to the program.

Trekkie Tom Pearcy used satellite technology to help him cut the maze in the corn field at his farm near York, northern England, to celebrate 40 years since the show's first episode.

The maze, whose design includes images of character Mr. Spock and the USS Enterprise spaceship, used 1.5 million maize plants and claims to be the biggest of its kind in the world.

[TexasStooge]

Suspicious powder closes Rowlett post office

ROWLETT, Texas (WFAA ABC 8) - The Rowlett post office was closed Friday morning while health officials worked to identify a powdery substance that spilled out of some mail into processing machinery.

The Rowlett Fire Department hazardous materials squad responded to the 911 call at 9:01 a.m. and requested assistance from the Garland Health Department in identifying the substance.

The post office was evacuated as a precaution and remained closed while tests were conducted. Technicians said initial indications were that the powder was not dangerous.

Other than one postal worker who requested a medical examination at a private clinic, no health problems were reported.

A series of anthrax attacks through the mail in 2001 resulted in five deaths.

[TexasStooge]

Security absent at Grand Prairie military facility

By CHRIS HAWES / WFAA ABC 8

GRAND PRAIRIE, Texas — News 8 has discovered how easy it is to enter the Grand Prairie Reserve Complex.

Thieves may have taken advantage of the open access last week when they stole military computers.

This week, News 8 drove right in past an unoccupied guardhouse on the complex.

At first glance, it looks like a ghost town.But reservists train at the facility throughout the year.

We found a fence surrounding some military vehicles unlocked.

News 8 was also able to enter the sleeping quarters, which were guarded only by a life-size cardboard cutout of a soldier.

We looked for security, but reservists told there was none because the complex is a training center.

Some of the men and women soldiers said they would like to be better protected, but at least one soldier has the answer to why security is lacking: "There isn't funding for it," he said.

The army reservists said the only person who could officially talk about the issue was in Oklahoma.

News 8 was still waiting for a response from her.

[TexasStooge]

Rowlett Post Office reopens after white powder found

By IAN McCANN / The Dallas Morning News

ROWLETT, Texas - The Rowlett Post Office reopened about 12:45 p.m. today after being closed about three hours when a white powder was found near a sorting machine.

Tests determined the powder was gypsum, a harmless substance commonly used in wallboard and chalk.

City spokesman Craig Kelly said about 50 people, most of them employees, were in the building on Enterprise Drive at Rowlett Road when the powder was discovered about 9:30 a.m.

Police officers and firefighters, as well as the Garland Health Department, helped to cordon off the building and test the substance.

[TexasStooge]

Japan PM: From Elvis to Arab in just two weeks

PETRA, Jordan (Reuters) - Just two weeks ago, Prime Minister Junichiro Koizumi was imitating Elvis during a visit to the United States.

On Friday, during a trip to the ancient Jordanian ruins at Petra, Koizumi rode a camel and donned a traditional red-and-white headdress.

"A camel isn't comfortable," Koizumi quipped, punning with the words for camel and "it's comfortable," which sound the same in Japanese.

The red sandstone ruins at Petra were carved more than 2,000 years ago and served as a set for the movie "Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade" with Harrison Ford.

Two weeks ago, the peripatetic Koizumi visited Graceland, the home of Elvis Presley, with U.S. President George W. Bush.

Koizumi, who shares a birthday with Elvis, sang the opening line of an Elvis song and put on a pair of sunglasses Elvis had owned.

Koizumi was in Jordan on the last leg of a four-day Mideast tour. He leaves for Russia and the Group of Eight summit on Saturday.

[TexasStooge]

Nude sunbather: Cheekies helps disorder

CENTRAL ISLIP, N.Y. - A nude sunbather is suing for the right to bask "au naturel" with his rat terrier, Cheekies, at his side. The plaintiff, former bodybuilder Mark DelCore, says he needs Cheekies with him because he suffers from post-traumatic stress disorder.

He says sunbathing is a balm for a skin condition he developed after exposure to World Trade Center toxins while leaving a lower Manhattan gym.

Those are the arguments DelCore presents in his suit, filed in federal court in Central Islip.

DelCore, of Forest Hills, Queens, favors a "clothing optional" beach near Kismet, on Fire Island. But officials at the Fire Island National Seashore say Cheekies is not welcome.

The park allows only guide dogs on its swimming beaches. DelCore says his dog's healing presence qualifies him as a "service dog."

[TexasStooge]

Hospitalized smoker burns room, is hurt

DALLAS, Texas (The Dallas Morning News) - A patient wearing an oxygen mask lit a cigarette and ignited a fire Thursday that charred his room at Methodist Dallas Medical Center, fire officials said.

The man suffered significant burns and was taken to Parkland Memorial Hospital, said Kim Hollon, an executive vice president of the Methodist Health System.

The fire broke out about 7:45 p.m. on the hospital's 10th floor and forced 114 patients to move. No one besides the man was seriously hurt.

"He somehow got the strength to smoke a cigarette with a nonremovable [oxygen] mask," said Dallas Fire-Rescue Capt. Paul Martinez.

"I don't know how he did it, but he did it."

The automatic sprinkler in the room prevented the blaze from becoming a larger emergency, Capt. Martinez said.

A nurse quickly pulled the patient from his burning bed. Nearby machinery melted.

"The fire would have advanced to the hallway horizontally and then vertically. Instead of eight or nine alarms, it was just two alarms," Capt. Martinez said. "Everything worked like it was supposed to."

[TexasStooge]

Maine lobsterman pulls up rare lobster

BAR HARBOR, Maine (AP) - An eastern Maine lobsterman caught a lobster this week that looks like it's half-cooked.

The lobster caught by Alan Robinson in Dyer's Bay that is a typical mottled green on one side; the other side is a shade of orange that looks cooked.

Robinson, of Steuben, donated the lobster to the Mount Desert Oceanarium. Staff members say the odds or finding a half-and-half lobster are 1 in 50 million to 100 million. By comparison, the odds of finding a blue lobster are about 1 in a million.

Robinson, who has been fishing for more than 20 years, said he didn't know what to think when he spotted the odd creature in his trap.

"I thought somebody was playing a joke on me," Robinson said. "Once I saw what it was ... it was worth seeing."

Bette Spurling, who works at the oceanarium, said lobster shells are usually a blend of the three primary colors: red, yellow and blue. Those colors mix to form the greenish-brown color of most lobsters. This lobster, though, has no blue in half of its shell, she said.

Bernard Arseneau, a former manager at the oceanarium's lobster hatchery, said lobsters also have a growth pattern in which the two sides develop independently of each other.

The oceanarium has received only three two-toned lobsters in its 35 years of existence, staff members said.
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Information from: Bangor Daily News

[TexasStooge]

Ill. festival features the Cow Chip Throw

CHATHAM, Ill. (AP) - Every year, folks gather at the Chatham Jaycees Sweet Corn Festival to enjoy good food, music, arts and crafts, and games for the kids. And toss some cow dung around.

That's right. Come Saturday the skies will be filled with something they're just not usually filled with as the Corn Festival once again hosts the Illinois Championship Cow Chip Throw.

If this sounds like an odd sport, chances are you haven't been paying attention to what's been going on down country roads all over the place. For more than 30 years, for example, the folks in Wisconsin's Sauk County have been holding the Wisconsin State Cow Chip Throw. The winners, of course, are eligible to compete in even older World Cow Chip Throw in Beaver, Okla.

In Chatham, organizers — not to mention the cows — have been busy making sure that competitors have enough, shall we say, equipment on hand.

The cows have been doing their part, of course, with folks like part-time farmer Shane Workman and his buddy Adam Bursott following close behind. When they see a cow patty, also known as a meadow muffin, that a competitor might like, they toss it into a flat wagon. There, the patties bake and bake long enough to turn into chips, the kind that expert cow chip throwers can launch more than 200 feet.

"I think we're all pooped out here," said Bursott, 27, before heading over to another field in the hopes of finding more patties.

Workman, 28, has been at it since he was a boy when he took to the fields with his dad in search of cow patties.

"I can remember I wasn't strong enough to get them hoisted up," he said.

When competitors show up Saturday, all they have to do is plop down five dollars to get two chips. All the money goes a scholarship fund at Glenwood High School called the Mark Workman Service to Humanity Award, named after Shane Workman's father, who died two years ago.

Unlike the Olympic Games, where in throwing events like the discuss and the shot put competitors are only allowed a certain number of turns, the only thing cow chip tossers have to worry about his how deep they're willing to dig into their wallets for something, it's safe to say, they wouldn't buy at any other time.

"If they have a pocket full of money, we let them throw poop," said John Moore, a Chatham Jaycee. "They can throw to their heart's content."

[TexasStooge]

Litter chief accused of being litterbug

YOUNGSTOWN, Ohio (AP) - The city official in charge of keeping Youngstown clean has been accused of littering his property.

George Finnerty III, 58, litter control coordinator since 1985, appeared in court Thursday on a misdemeanor citation from the Mahoning County Sheriff's Department, which took pictures of cardboard boxes, broken furniture, tires and other trash around Finnerty's home.

Finnerty said he had already taken care of many of the problems. He said he wished the sheriff's department had first given him a warning.

Municipal Court Judge Robert Milich ordered Finnerty to return to court on Aug. 21 to show the junk has been cleaned up.
___

Information from: The Vindicator

[TexasStooge]

Blackbirds attack Calif. town's residents

SAN LUIS OBISPO, Calif. (AP) - There's pecking disorder in the city. Brewer's blackbirds, apparently protecting their young during nesting season, are swooping down and attacking the heads of pedestrians.

"On a bad day, we get about 15 attacks an hour," Nautical Bean coffee house business manager Brett Jones said. "I thought about naming a coffee after them."

Customers are often seen flailing their hands over their heads as they walk toward the Laguna Village Shopping Center cafe.

Last week, while walking into the Nautical Bean Espresso Cafe, customer Charlie Magnuson felt tiny claws tug on his peppered hair.

"Once you've been scratched," he said, "it does scare you a little. But not really, because they won't go for your eyes. I think it's a fun thing as long as no one gets hurt."

Wildlife experts said the birds are simply protecting their young. Capt. David Fox of the California Department of Fish and Game said the behavior is a common defense mechanism.

Once nesting season is over at the end of summer, the harassment of Nautical Bean patrons will likely stop, he said.
_____________________________________________________________

Alfred Hitchcock would be so proud.

[TexasStooge]

Woman finds more than 20 snakes inside car

ASTORIA, Ore. (AP) - It was either a prank or the work of Mother Nature — either way, Sherry Hart got a slithery surprise in her car.

Sherry Hart found a pair of garter snakes in the back seat of her car on a recent shopping trip to the grocery store, then found more under a floor mat.

"This lady was freaking out next to her car," says Will Brinkerhoff, 17, an employee at the North Coast Fred Meyer.

Eventually more than 20 of the harmless snakes were found inside the car, some pencil-thin and one the diameter of a quarter and 3 feet long.

Brinkerhoff, another employee and several customers helped clean out the car.

One man dumped out his groceries and gave Hart the plastic carrying bags she could fill them with snakes.

When Warrenton police Officer Jim Gaebel arrived he guessed that one snake must have gotten into the car and had babies. Gaebel later told Hart that in all his years in police work, this was his first snake call.

But Hart believes it was a prank.

"Who did it? We don't know," she said. But she believes her car was chosen because a window stuck in the open position made it an easy target in the big parking lot.

[TexasStooge]

Thanking Jesus in court lands man in jail

HONOLULU, Hawaii (AP) - Junior Stowers raised his hands and exclaimed, "Thank you, Jesus!" in court last month when he was acquitted by a jury of abusing his son.

But his joy was short-lived when Circuit Judge Patrick Border held him in contempt of court for the "outburst" and threw him in jail.

Stowers, 47, sat in the courtroom and a cellblock for about six hours until the judge granted him a hearing on the contempt charge and released him.

The judge at a July 7 hearing dropped the contempt charge, a petty misdemeanor that carries up to 30 days in jail.

Stowers couldn't be reached for comment. But his attorney in the contempt case, Deputy Public Defender Susan Arnett, said he wasn't treated fairly.

"I don't think there's anything about saying 'Thank you, Jesus' that rises to the level of contemptuous behavior in this case," she told The Honolulu Advertiser.

Stowers is a devoutly religious man active in his church who spontaneously expressed his thanks to the higher power in which he believed, she said.

Family members and Stowers' pastor at Assembly of God Church, Iakopo Sale, who watched from the gallery were "very upset that those words could land somebody in jail," Arnett said.

Border declined to comment but indicated the court minutes reflected his actions. The minutes showed he found Stowers' "nonverbal gestures and outbursts to be disruptive and improper regardless of content."

Court minutes said Border later dropped the charge because he realized Stowers' trial lawyer, Deputy Public Defender Carmel Kwock, did not have time to tell Stowers the judge had ordered both sides not to show emotion when the verdict was announced.

Stowers, of Honolulu, was charged with hitting his 15-year-old son with a broomstick in January. The misdemeanor charge of abusing a household member carries a sentence of up to a year in jail. Stowers was free on a $1,000 bond.

During the trial last month, the boy recanted his earlier statements that his father hit him, according to court records.

The boy instead testified his brother had hit him with a car door, a story verified by the brother in court.

Just before the verdict was announced on June 29, Border called city Deputy Prosecutor Sean Sanada and Kwock to the bench and told them he didn't want a show of emotion by either side, according to a defense request to dismiss the contempt charge.

When Stowers made his remarks after the verdict was announced, the judge told him, "There will (be) no more of that," the papers said.

Stowers asked to approach the bench and apologize, but the judge told him he could not and ordered him to remain in the courtroom, the defense request said.
___

Information from: The Honolulu Advertiser

[TexasStooge]

Residents of Mo. town hurt by flag thefts

GALT. Mo. (AP) — Residents in this small northwest Missouri town are grumbling about a bizarre crime spree that has some recalling a Christmas tree caper in the 1980s.

Vandals swept through Monday and Tuesday, stealing U.S. flags — even those on churches. At least 10 are missing.

"This is a good town, a blessed town," said the Rev. Stan Richardson of the Galt Christian Church, which not only had its American flag stolen, but its Christian flag inverted and raised back on the pole.

"But this isn't good, and it doesn't feel good," Richardson said.

The Rev. Gene Schreffler of Galt Baptist Church, whose flag was also stolen, and said the spree reminds him of the time a stolen Christmas tree garnered national media attention.

"We're trying to build the pride in our town back up," Schreffler said. "(The thefts) have hurt our feelings."

Grundy County Deputy Tim Phipps said he has few leads but suspects juveniles. Authorities are offering a reward for information.
___

Information from: St. Joseph News-Press

[TexasStooge]

No bids yet on crypts at Ark. cemetery

PARAGOULD, Ark. (AP) - No one's beating down the doors to share their final resting place with a legendary gangster.

The Paragould City Beautiful Commission said Wednesday it hasn't received any bids on two crypts at the Linwood Cemetery, but officials say people are interested in buying a piece of the decades-old mausoleum that contains the remains of gangster Frank "Jelly" Nash, as well as other local notables.

Nash was killed June 17, 1933, in Kansas City, Mo.'s "Union Station Massacre." Nash and three police officers were killed in a failed attempt by gangsters such as Pretty Boy Floyd to free Nash, who was being transported to the federal prison in Leavenworth, Kan.

The commission is auctioning off the crypts at the mausoleum to raise money to beautify the local landmark.

Jackie Branch, a member of the Paragould City Beautiful Commission, said an open house was planned for interested bidders. She said she expects the crypts to go for $3,000 to $10,000.

"It's very unique," Branch said Wednesday. "It's the only public mausoleum of its size that we know of in the state."

The mausoleum, built in the 1920s, cost about $30,000 to build, Branch said. The commission is trying to have the structure listed on the National Register of Historic Places.

Bids on the crypts may be made in the city clerk's office at City Hall.

The commission last year added lights around the mausoleum, at the intersection of U.S. 412 and U.S. 49. Kaut White, a member of the commission, donated two crypts as the panel sought ways to fund improvements that will include a landscape design.

Three trustees had maintained the mausoleum before it was turned over to the city to ensure its maintenance. The mausoleum was built from Bedford stone and white marble, with brass and copper features. It holds 160 crypts.