Final arragements

[azsnowman]

Y'all are gonna think I'm NUTZ for posting this and NO, it's NOT meant to be morbid, nor do I intend to bring back any bad memories for anyone. NO, I'm NOT planning on leaving this earth ANYTIME soon, nor am I implying that anyone else is either. I'm only 44 years YOUNG and I plan on living a LOOOOOOONG time BUT....since my mother in laws passing late last week and seeing "ALL THE B.S." that has to be done before/after a loved one passes just BLOWS ME AWAY I lost my mother over 8 years ago and the arragements went fairly smooth given the situation, but NOWADAYS, my God.....it's bad enough dealing with the loss but the BS is beyond comprehension! Has anyone else made their final arragements?

SO, since this has happened, Michelle and I have made out our DNR'S, NO HEROIC MEASURES, our Living Wills etc, etc. We are taking out life insurance policies this week to cover the costs of that fatal day. My directives are to be that I am cremated and have my ashes spread near Mt. Baldy......the place I LOVE so dearly.

Sorry if this sounds morbid and I apologize if I bring back some bad memories, I know some people have a HARD time dealing with this situation. I'm the kind of person that cannot STAND leaving one stone unturned when it comes to my family, I want every thing in place, JUST in case of my untimely departure happens, I want them to have time to CELEBRATE my life and not deal with anything!

Dennis

[Miss Mary]

Dennis - my mom has her own funeral all planned out. We don't personally however. What annoys me is my mom is now giving away certain knick knacks, special to her. One by one. Each time she gives my daughters one more dust collecting item saying - this is yours, and they ask why are you giving this away, and she replies because I won't be around forever you know - it infuriates me. My mom has been waiting to die for about 10 years now. Each time she goes in for a routine procedure - colonoscopy, stress test, catarac (sp) surgery - she is almost expecting the worst. And every time the outcome is positive. She went in for an angiogram once and came out with meds only! No angioplasty needed! A nurse told us - do you know how few patients we see that don't need an angioplasty done? Did my mom see it that way? Oh no......yes she's a difficult patient.

I guess I'm putting off the inevitable because my mom is so obsessed with dying, instead of just living. She doesn't embrace each new day positively but rather it's a string of complaints. My brothers and I cringe for the day she does really need nursing care. She's nearly 80 and should be grateful she's so healthy.

If you pick up any item in her apartment, taped to the bottom are small pieces of paper - to so and so. I guess that will make it easier for my brothers and I someday. Still it just all gives me the creeps - I want to say just prepape mom but don't dwell on it. But then she'd grab her chest and whail - you're giving me a heart attack - something she's never had, mimimal blockage you know. And yes she's done that act with me before, on the interstate. I'm in major traffic as I've just said something to irritate her. Ever watch Everybody Loves Raymond - my mom is a bit like Marie Barone! Not as bad, but bad enough.

I'm done!!! See what your topic did Dennis - yikes, I need to repent for those nasty thoughts!!!!

Mary

[blizzard]

I don't think this topic is morbid in any way. In fact, it says something about how you feel for your family, not wanting themn to have to work out details in their time of mourning. The good Lord knows how difficult it is to mourn as it is, without having to worry about funeral details. the more that can be worked out ahead of time, allows for the family to have an easier time dealing with the loss.

[azskyman]

Dennis, it seems that when death brushes by us we automatically think about our own situation...our own curtain call yet to come. I don't think it is morbid, but know that there are those (like Mary's mom and my sister) who seem to sigh and worry and spend the days waiting for that fateful moment...albeit perhaps decades away from now. I feel badly for those preoccupied in their fear or thoughts of death rather than in the new opportunities that come at us in life each day.

I have in my home file cabinet and on the computer a file called "Afterwards." I update it a couple of times a year, but for the most part it is a roadmap of contacts and questions and things to be done. Who to call and why. And suggestions on how to handle any estate that might remain. (Sorry boys, no Jaguars or yachts in your future!)

We will be updating our wills this year and filling out the needed documents for a living will.

And a couple of weeks ago...while coming off the pain and agony of the shingles, I gave thought to writing some of my own obituary. Didn't actually do it yet, but hey, why not! I can put it as an attachment to my "Afterwards" file.

My wish is to be cremated with half of my ashes to be spread freely outside in the Arizona air...perhaps a molecule or two to become a tiny part of a soaring bird or a vibrant rainbow. The other half is to remain near my family, bottled up if they wish.

Death is more mysterious to me than scary. I'm convinced there is much more waiting for me on the other side.

My biggest fear is not death itself, but in coming to that point in my life and perhaps regretting that I had not done more to bring people together...to help in their understanding and appreciation of each day...and each other. That remains a driving force in my life.

Dennis, I don't think of it often, but do hope for many many good years ahead as you do.

[GalvestonDuck]

Not morbid at all. I've had my plans and will written out for some time now, although I need to make some changes to my will. It's not easy when you're an only child, unmarried, and your parents are deceased. That leaves only a limited few to whom I can bequeath my estate.

It's good to have things planned out early.

[Stephanie]

No, YOU ARE NOT NUTZ!

It's bad enough what the family has to go through with the grief process but the arrangements and even the handling of the estate can be downright daunting. The more you can prepare ahead of time, the better.

[furluvcats]

Miss Mary, I always find myseld addressing something you've said...lol My grandmother has name tags on items as well, and so does Brian's mom. In my grandmothers case though, she is living life to its very fullest, and not focusing on death, but she is very prepared to make things easier for her family when she does go.

We, on the other hand are totally unprepared, and thats embarassing. Does anyone know if you have full custody of your children, and you place them with a grandparent in your will, instead of their birth father, if this is enough to hold up, in the case anything happens to the custodial parent? I think I had better check into things, huh?

[sunnyday]

A variation on the topic--Is anyone afraid of death, either the unknown part of it or just death itself? The thing that gets me is that there is no other way out; we all have to die.

[David]

I always phantom how I will be when i'm 25... or when/if i'm 85...

[blizzard]

A variation on the topic--Is anyone afraid of death, either the unknown part of it or just death itself? The thing that gets me is that there is no other way out; we all have to die.

The only thing about death that I am really afraid of is having my daughters grow up without a dad, that and that when I die, it will be really painful. Other than that, just the fear of the unknown.

[timNms]

Hey Duck, you can "bequeath my estate" to me

On a more serious note, my wife and I haven't done any pre arranging, but need to. My mom has her funeral planned out also.

[azsnowman]

A variation on the topic--Is anyone afraid of death, either the unknown part of it or just death itself? The thing that gets me is that there is no other way out; we all have to die.

My only fear of dying is the WAY I'm gonna go other than that, "I know who holds the Future!" The worst possible way for me, is FIRE! I cannot even IMAGINE the pain, I mean, I get a little burn on my finger from cooking, stoking the woodstove and MAN! We can only hope that the Lord allows us simply to fall asleep or a sudden cardiac arrest with no pain.

Dennis

[GalvestonDuck]

Hey Duck, you can "bequeath my estate" to me

LOL! Well, eventually, someone's going to get it.

[timNms]

A variation on the topic--Is anyone afraid of death, either the unknown part of it or just death itself? The thing that gets me is that there is no other way out; we all have to die.

My only fear of dying is the WAY I'm gonna go other than that, "I know who holds the Future!" The worst possible way for me, is FIRE! I cannot even IMAGINE the pain, I mean, I get a little burn on my finger from cooking, stoking the woodstove and MAN! We can only hope that the Lord allows us simply to fall asleep or a sudden cardiac arrest with no pain.

Dennis

Dennis,

I, too, know who holds tomorrow and I have no fear of death. I do think about how I'll get to that point, tho. I don't wanna go by drowning, fire, trama, or anything painful. Falling asleep and waking in Heaven would be the easy way out and that's what I'm hopin' for.

[timNms]

Hey Duck, you can "bequeath my estate" to me

LOL! Well, eventually, someone's going to get it.

Hmmmm...I could be your long lost nephew, cousin, brother???? After all, my last name does have "Duck" in it LOL.

[Miss Mary]

Hey Duck, you can "bequeath my estate" to me

LOL! Well, eventually, someone's going to get it.

Hmmmm...I could be your long lost nephew, cousin, brother???? After all, my last name does have "Duck" in it LOL.

Tim - and here all this time, I imagined your last name was Nims. LOL It's just what I think of when I see your screen name!!! Tim Nims. Just kidding....

Mary

[timNms]

LOL, Mary. I probably should have put an "i" in front of the N so my name would read "Tim in MS" but I was too lazy to have to type an extra letter.

[vbhoutex]

A variation on the topic--Is anyone afraid of death, either the unknown part of it or just death itself? The thing that gets me is that there is no other way out; we all have to die.

My only fear of dying is the WAY I'm gonna go other than that, "I know who holds the Future!" The worst possible way for me, is FIRE! I cannot even IMAGINE the pain, I mean, I get a little burn on my finger from cooking, stoking the woodstove and MAN! We can only hope that the Lord allows us simply to fall asleep or a sudden cardiac arrest with no pain.

Dennis

Dennis,

I, too, know who holds tomorrow and I have no fear of death. I do think about how I'll get to that point, tho. I don't wanna go by drowning, fire, trama, or anything painful. Falling asleep and waking in Heaven would be the easy way out and that's what I'm hopin' for.

No fear of the actual death itself. In fact, if anything, I look forward to it as I look forward to what is on the "other side" and seeing my Grandparents/ancestors(some whom died before I was born)and my Dad.

Please just let me fall asleep and awake in heaven or go by a means I do not know it is happening and have no pain.

Now, thanks to Dennis I have to get off my duff and get a lot of legal stuff taken care of.

AND YES YOU ARE NUTZ DENNIS!!!!!! DON'T LET ANYONE TELL YOU DIFFERENT!!!

[Amanzi]

I think it is wonderful and a gift to your family to have your final preperations in order. My grandfather left no will and oh my gosh the fighting that went on between my Dad's brothers was just shameful. My poor grandmother had to borrow money to bury him..

I am not afraid of dying in the least, and I am glad and confidant I dont have to be fearful of what is on the otherside because I know!.. I cant wait to see Jesus and learn all there is to know in the universe! I dont want to go in a painful way however!