Holiday eating tips

[vbhoutex]

Holiday Eating Tips

1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.

2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. Like fine single-malt scotch, it's rare. In fact, it's even rarer than single-malt scotch. You can't find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnog-aholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's Christmas!

3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.

4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.

5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello?

6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and NewYear's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.

7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again.

8. Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Raisin Cream. Have a slice of each. Or, if you don't like Raisin Cream, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always
have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?

9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards.

10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention.

Reread tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner.

Remember this motto to live by: "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, martini in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming .......
"WOO HOO what a ride!"

[SouthernWx]

#7 & 8 sounds like me at the Wal-Mart "supercenter" this afternoon. I missed lunch, went there half-starved, and EVERYTHING in the bakery looked (and smelled) wonderful.

Tonight we have enough cake, pies, and other dessert treats to last us until Christmas...if not longer

[HurricaneGirl]

Very funny!!

[alicia-w]

Funny but very true!

[kevin]

I have inscribed them on my very soul.

[CaptinCrunch]

So Very True about the Holiday's

[GalvestonDuck]

"Raisin cream"

[JenBayles]

2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. Like fine single-malt scotch, it's rare. In fact, it's even rarer than single-malt scotch. You can't find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnog-aholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's Christmas!

My fav! Homemade egg nog - WITH the nog!

[alicia-w]

"Raisin cream"

INGREDIENTS:

1 cup raisins
3 tablespoons sugar
water
1 tablespoon cornstarch
1 package lemon pudding and pie filling mix (3oz pkg)
1/2 cup sugar
2 egg yolks, beaten
1 cup sour cream
pastry for 1-crust 9-inch pie, baked
PREPARATION:


In saucepan combine raisins, 3 tablespoons sugar, and 1 cup water. Bring to a boil; simmer for 15 minutes, stirring occasionally. Blend cornstarch with 2 tablespoons of water; stir into raisin mixture. Cook, stirring, until thickened.
In another saucepan, mix pudding mix, 1/2 cup sugar, and 1/4 cup water. Add 1 3/4 cups water and the egg yolks, blending thoroughly. Cook, stirring, until mixture is thick and bubbly. Stir into the raisin mixture. Cool and fold in sour cream. Pour into baked pie shell and chill until firm. Top raisin pie with whipped cream.