Before Entering Texas, Learn and Remember...

[TexasStooge]

A friend of mine sent me this:

Applies to each person as they enter Texas.

Learn & remember:

East Coast and California-types pay particular attention!

1. Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot.

2. Let's get this straight; it's called a "gravel road."
I drive a pickup truck because I want to. No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.

3. They are cattle & oil wells.
That's what they smell like to you. They smell like money to us.
Get over it.

4. So you have a $60,000 car. We're impressed.
We have $250,000 cotton strippers that are driven only 3 weeks a year

5. So every person in every pickup waves.
It's called being friendly. Try to understand the concept.

6. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of doves are coming in, we WILL shoot it out of your hand.
You better hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time.

7. Yeah, we eat catfish & crawfish.
You really want sushi & caviar? It's available at the corner bait shop.

8. The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season.
It's a religious holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November.

9. We open doors for women.
That is applied to all women, regardless of age.

10. No, there's no "vegetarian special" on the menu.
Order steak. Or you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham & turkey.

11. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meats, vegetables, and breads. We use three spices: salt, pepper, and Picante Sauce.

Oh, yeah..! .. We don't care what you folks in Cincinnati call that stuff you eat ......It AIN'T REAL CHILI!! Chili was born and bred in San Antonio .... and real chili never met a tomato!


GOD BLESS TEXAS!!!