Q: What do farmers give their wives on Valentine's Day?
A: Hog and kisses!
Q: What would you get it you crossed Odie with the God of love?
A: A stupid cupid!
Q: Why did the pig give his girlfriend a box of candy?
A: It was Valenswine's Day!
Q: Do skunks celebrate Valentine's Day?
A: Sure, they're very scent-imental!
Q: What did the chocolate syrup say to the ice cream?
A: "I'm sweet on you!"
Q: What did the paper clip say to the magnet?
A: "I find you very attractive."
Q: What did the French chef give his wife for Valentine's Day?
A: A hug and a quiche!
Q: What would you call a woman who goes out with Jon?
A: Desperate!
Q: What did one pickle say to the other?
A: "You mean a great dill to me."
Knock, Knock!
Who's there?
Olive.
Olive who?
Olive you!
Q: What did the elephant say to his girlfriend?
A: "I love you a ton!"
Q: What did the bat say to his girlfriend?
A: "You're fun to hang around with."
Q: Did you hear about the nearsighted porcupine?
A: He fell in love with a pincushion!
Q: What did the pencil say to the paper?
A: "I dot my i's on you!"
Q:Why did the cannibal break up with his girlfriend?
A: She didn't suit his taste!
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Valentine's Vernacular: A Dating Dictionary...
DATING:
The process of spending enormous amounts of money, time, and energy to get better acquainted with a person whom you don't especially like in the present and will learn to like a lot less in the future.
EASY:
A term used to describe a woman who has the morals of a man.
EYE CONTACT:
A method utilized by a single woman to communicate to a man that she is interested in him. Despite being advised to do so, many women have difficulty looking a man directly in the eyes, not necessarily due to the shyness, but usually due to the fact that a woman's eyes are not located in her chest.
FRIEND:
A member of the opposite sex who has some flaw which makes sleeping with him/her totally unappealing.
INDIFFERENCE:
A woman's feeling toward a man that is interpreted by the man as "playing hard to get."
IRRITATING HABIT:
What the endearing little qualities that initially attract two people to each other turn into after a few months together.
NYMPHOMANIAC:
A man's term for a woman who wants to do it more often than he does.
SOBER:
A condition in which it is almost impossible to fall in love.
ATTRACTION:
The act of associating horniness with a particular person.
LOVE AT 1st SIGHT:
What occurs when two extremely horny, but not entirely choosy people meet.
LAW OF RELATIVITY:
How attractive a given person appears to be is directly proportionate to how unattractive your date is.
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For that very special someone...
