Things people would like to say at work but can't

[angelwing]

THINGS PEOPLE WOULD LIKE TO SAY AT WORK, BUT CAN'T


1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of it.



2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.


3. How about never? Is never good for you?


4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.


5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way.


6. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.


7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.


8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.


9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.


10. Ahhh...I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again...


11. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.


12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.


13. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't care.


14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.


15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.


16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.


17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.


18. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.


19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?


20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.


21. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.


22. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.


23. And your crybaby whiny opinion would be...?


24. Do I look like a people person?


25. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.


26. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.


27. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.


28. If I throw a stick, will you leave?


29. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.


30. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.


31. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.


32. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.


33. Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1?


34. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.


35. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?


36. Chaos, panic, & disorder - my work here is done.


37. How do I set a laser printer to stun?


38. I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted pay checks.

[Miss Mary]

I should print this list out and take it into work. My boss would love it (easily half a dozen fit my coworkers!).

Do you have a printable URL? Thanks!

LOL @ "I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks!"! Too funny....

[angelwing]

No URL, just doing some email cleaning and found it and though I would post it. Just copy it into a word doc, delete the spaces and it should fit on one page

[Miss Mary]

No URL, just doing some email cleaning and found it and though I would post it. Just copy it into a word doc, delete the spaces and it should fit on one page

Will do!!! Thanx.

[Brent]

[TexasStooge]

[Lindaloo]

3

6

8

9

10

11

23

25


I have used a few of those at work. I just used number 25 yesterday. I always say "And I am supposed to care because??" "BOO frigging HOO" or "They do not make extra large pacifiers"

[Stephanie]

Those were great! Oldies but goodies. Thanks for sharing!

[vbhoutex]

Maybe I shouldn't be reading this!!!! I could easily get introuble!!!1LOLOL!!!!!

[Miss Mary]

Yeah really. I might not want to copy/paste/print this list for work....lol

We had one coworker very upset at several non-team-players at work this past week. To the point of almost walking. She was doing 50% more while they putzed. Then later another coworker wanted to know what my secret was, why I didn't get upset at the slackers, etc. I just sighed and said - it's really not worth getting this worked up, over a part time job! Now if I spent 40-45-50 hours a week there, and not close to 20, then I would be getting very upset. lol They've nicknamed me a Pollyanna......but hey it's fun to think of sayings like this, I just never act on them! They think I'm pretty odd not to get upset. Just going in and doing my job and leaving. LOL

Ask me in a year if I still feel this way!

[Bobbie Lee]

29. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
33. Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1?

Oh, my! I can see myself using these lines.