Church Signs

[southerngale]

1. There was a church that had problems with outsiders parking in its
parking lots, so they put up a sign: CHURCH CAR PARK - FOR MEMBERS ONLY
Trespassers will be baptized!

2. "No God - No Peace. Know God - Know Peace."

3. "Free Trip to Heaven. Details Inside!"

4. "Try our Sundays. They are better than Baskin Robbins."

5. "Searching for a new look? Have your faith lifted here!"

6. An ad for one Church has a picture of two hands holding stone
tablets on which the Ten Commandments are inscribed and a headline that
reads, "For fast, fast, fast relief, take two tablets."

7. When the restaurant next to another Church put out a big sign with
red letters that said, "Open Sundays," the church reciprocated with its
own message: "We are open on Sundays, too."

8. "People are like tea bags - you have to put them in hot water before
you know how strong they are."

9. "Fight truth decay - study the Bible daily."

10. "How will you spend eternity - Smoking or Non- smoking?"

11. "Dusty Bibles lead to Dirty Lives"

12. "Come work for the Lord. The work is hard, the hours are long and
the pay is low. But the retirement benefits are out of this world."

13. "It is unlikely there'll be a reduction in the wages of sin."

14. "Do not wait for the hearse to take you to church."

15. "If you're headed in the wrong direction, God allows U-turns."

16. "If you don't like the way you were born, try being born again."

17. "Looking at the way some people live, they ought to obtain eternal
fire insurance soon."

18. "This is a ch_ _ ch. What is missing?" ---------(U R)

19. "In the dark? Follow the Son."

20. "Running low on faith? Step in for a fill-up."

21. "If you can't sleep, don't count sheep. Talk to the Shepherd."

[streetsoldier]

How about these, from the local Presbyterians...

"Sign is broken...Message Inside!"

"Why not stop at MY house before the big game?"

"Don't make Me come down there!"

[firefighter16]

I like #10. It says it all.

[GulfBreezer]

I love to read church signs as I pass them! I always seem to pass by the ones that I REALLY need to read..............HMMMMM? Wonder why that is ????!!!

[deb_in_nc]

I passed one tonight that read. Be the fruit of
spirituality, not a religous nut.

[David]

Lol. There funny, yet true.