Father's Day 2003

[pojo]

I'm a true daddy's girl...I still remember the day my parents finally divorced each other. It was hard because I did not know what to expect. I thought at that time, no longer would my dad be around to push me towards my dreams and aspirations. No longer would I be able to cuddle up with him in a LAZY BOY. Its been 13 years and its hard splitting time with my mom and dad over the holidays and birthdays. There are many days that I'm torn between my mom and dad. Its not easy to be the negoitator, but in some cases is has to be done. Although my mom and dad live a few miles apart, getting them together is like pulling teeth. Only when necessary will they be at the same function! My dad still thankfully, lives in Menasha, so I frequently have a chance to see him.

My mom remarried a short time after the divorce, and yes, my step-dad is precious too, but he can try as hard as he wants, but he'll never fill that void that my dad has in my heart. While growing up, I fought on a daily basis with my mom and step-dad about life, liberty and everything else that happens during those exploratory teenage years. There were many days that I would go over to my dad's to scream, or just to talk it out with him. Boy, do I remember those LONG conversations! Two days before High School graduation, I moved into my dad's house. Not only did I feel a good sense of security, but I knew that I filled that void in my heart. After his many talks, I have learned about life, and how to push yourself to achieve the goals I have set forth for myself to achieve. We both know whats good for me, but I also know who to talk to when I have a situation or a problem that needs to be solved.

Less than a year ago, my dad remarried to a wonderful lady, but my summer of HELL memories made me feel not welcomed at his house. Kathy's eldest step-daughter thought everything, I mean everything in the house was hers...money, clothing, food, make-up, etc. She didn't care who bought it, or if a receipt could prove that it wasn't; she still had a reason to have it. Money disappeared on a daily basis, clothing and make-up grew legs, shampoo was, all of a sudden, empty; need I say more? Needless to say, I had a HELL of a time preserving what was loyally mine! And so did my dad!

Anyways, my step dad is a wonderful man...you can tell already that my carpentry skills are developing at a rapid pace, thanks in part my step-dad's handiness. I come from a family of contractors and carpenters. So that is why I can working with Habitat...to keep my skills fresh. Fishing...oh goodness, that's another story. Usually its eeeewww! or yuck! I'm not touching that!!! But not with me. We have a family 'fishing' trip planned every year for late July and early August. We all do our fare share of fishing. Some days we come off the Lake smelling like a fish! My brother and step-dad have a few good fishing stories, but I also have mine.

Needless to say, after a few years of talking on a off with my mom, I'm back in with my mom. Living through the summer of HELL made me realize that maybe, my mom and step-dad were right about things which growing up, I thought otherwise. Yes, I am saying this. I feel better there...I don't need to protect my belongings, or to watch my back. My mom, step-dad and dorky little brother know my limitations, and they don't dare to push them. Yes, at times, they borrow some of my things, but they also remember to put them back...or repay the debts, if needed.

On the other hand, my current address is my dad's. I did that for a purpose...that way I could still spend time with both parties.

As for my grandpa, whom I am also really close with, was diagnosed a few years back with prostate cancer. Yes, the disease is in remission, but we still know that he is a fragile man. The cancer could return any day...we don't know when its going to happen...or how much the disease has consumed. Goodness, my grandpa is only 67 years old...he looks a lot younger than that! I was his only granddaugher for the longest time. I was 8 when my cousin Jamie was born. Dani came a few months later. Needless to say, I grew really close to him during the years that I had to fen for myself in a family filled with boys. As soon as my grandpa has his whiskey and sour...he's a happy camper. Oh yea, can't forget the treats! Everyone in our family knows where the treat drawer is (at least all the grandkids do). If my grandma knows we are coming over, she will make a run to the grocery store to pick up Little Debbie treats that way, when the grandkids come over, the treat drawer will not be empty at the end of the night. Swiss Cake Rolls, Nutty Bars, Oatmeal Creme Pies, Oreos, etc. I know oreos aren't Little Debbie, but my grandma knows how to satisfy me!

What's a normal family? Don't ask me about that one...because my family is NO where near normal!We have a family of comedians (on my mom's side) Don't ask...recycled genes are quite prevalent in our family....or its the mailman...we really don't have a clue how comedians were born into this family. But, it makes having a family get-together something to remember! Most, if not all the men in our family are comedians!

[weatherlover427]

Since my dad died earlier this year *hopes he doesn't start crying for real*, I will be sad this weekend. I will be spending it with my mom on Saturday and here at home on Sunday.

[Guest]

So Sorry to hear that Josh.............Me and my father were really never close seeing how i havent lived wth him since i was 5 and only saw him on weekends growing up.........But i do hope he has a nice fathers day.....................

[Pburgh]

((Hugs)) to you Joshua and ((Hugs)) to all of you who may have a difficult time this Sunday. I wish I could spread out all my wonderful memories of my Dad among those of you who don't have such great memories. Wouldn't that be great!

[weatherlover427]

Thanks for the condolences. I feel better now.

[streetsoldier]

I can't discuss my feelings or the relationship I had with my father...too painful to relate here.

As for me, Father's Day wil pass as just another in a LONG line of boring, "I'd rather be somewhere else" Sundays.

[isobar]

Thanks for posting such interesting stories about some amazing dads.
I've never met my dad and have only seen one fuzzy, distant picture of him. He may or may not be living - would probably be in his late 60s now. Mom was the one who left and moved away. She didn't marry until I was an adult, but I do send a card to my step-dad. He's a great guy. But it's kinda weird, especially since he's only 6 years older than me. Long story....

[azskyman]

One Last opportunity...to bring to the top...this fine thread of all the emotions and memories that wind through us about our dads. As it settles and sinks to the bottom of the list, let's hope that there is a story of redemption and resolution...or at the very least...one more of appreciation that closes it out.

[Pburgh]

I hope all you fathers have a wonderful day. Enjoy your families. ((Hugs))

[petal*pusher]

Thank you for an opportunity to reflect on my father..........

I miss him a great deal....but often feel his presence.

How I wish he were here to see my two children, now grown, who only know him thru my memories.......but HE was the one strength in my life when I lost my firstborn son.

I hope my life reflects the important things he taught all six of his children! We all realize we were very blessed.......and yet Dad would say HE was the fortunate one!

Happy Father's Day to all the Dads out there!..........p

[azskyman]

Pam...if I don't get another post on this topic, I think you finished it out in grand fashion...full of hope, inspiration, and memories of what fathers can be.

Thank you, thank you...for that postscript on the weeklong topic and wonderful postcript on your father's contribution, too.