Hollywood Squares

[alicia-w]

If you remember the original Hollywood Squares and its comics, this will bring a tear to your eyes. These great questions and answers are from the days when "Hollywood Squares" game show responses were spontaneous and clever, not scripted and (often) dull as they are now.

Peter Marshall was the host asking the questions, of course. Please note: most, if not all, of those answering the questions are (now) gone!

Q. Do female frogs croak?
A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.

Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be?
A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.

Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years .
A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.

Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?
A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.

Q. According to Cosmo magazine, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married?
A. Rose Marie: No, wait until morning.

Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.

Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say "I Love You"?
A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty.

Q. What are "Do It," "I Can Help," and "I Can't Get Enough"?
A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment

Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hand while talking?
A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and! I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget.

Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.

Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year?
A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries.

Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?
A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.

Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps. One is politics. What is the other?
A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.

Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do?
A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?

Q If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?
A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.

Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?
A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.

Q. While visiting China , your tour guide starts shouting "Poo! Poo! Poo!" What does this mean?
A. George Gobel: Cattle crossing.

Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do?
A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.

Q. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex?
A. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to him.

Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?
A. Charley Weaver: His feet.

Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed?
A. Paul Lynde: Point and Laugh.

[TexasStooge]

WOW! The answers are still hillarious to this day!! I wish "Hollywood Squares" were still on this year.

[pojo]

That was hilarious! I wish that it was still on also.

[Miss Mary]

Paul Lynde was my favorite, hands down. His smirk as he was patiently waiting for the question to be stated, just cracked you up. Long before he spoke. God love him, RIP "Uncle Arthur". He passed long ago, didn't he?

They could reinstate it....think of the possibilities here - Jim Carrey, Will Farrell, Ellen, Whoopi, it would be a riot.

Correct me if I'm wrong though, but didn't having a seat on the Hollywood Squares somewhat signify your career was declining (not many TV or movies offers coming in)? If so, it might be difficult to get a star such as Jim Carrey to take a seat. That was always my impression. If a star's career waned, they could always try out for HS.

Mary

[O Town]

Oh those were great! I could see Rose Maries face in my head as she replies to these questions. She cracks me up. She was my favirote. Thanks for posting these Alicia.

Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hand while talking?
A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and! I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget.

Q. According to Cosmo magazine, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married?
A. Rose Marie: No, wait until morning.

[angelwing]

Oh man thank you Alicia, this was my favorite game show and I still miss it to this day!

[conestogo_flood]

Aw, I must be too young to know about Hollywood Squares, my parents used to watch it, the dog used to bark when that ding sound happened. I never really payed attention to it. Wish I did now, that was pretty funny.