And the master on the one-liners....George Carlin

[angelwing]

And the Master of One-Liners...
George Carlin




How come wrong numbers are never busy?

Do people in Australia call the rest of the world "up over"?

Does killing time damage eternity?

Why is it that night falls but day breaks?

Why is the third hand on the watch called a second hand?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

Are part-time band leaders semi-conductors?

Can you buy an entire chess set in a pawn-shop?

Daylight savings time. Why are they saving it and where do they keep it?

Did Noah keep his bees in ArcHives?

Do pilots take crash-courses?

Do stars clean themselves with meteor showers?

Do you think that when they asked George Washington for ID that he just whipped out a quarter?

Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?

Have you ever seen a toad on a toadstool?

How can there be self-help "groups"?

How do you get off a non-stop flight?

How do you write zero in Roman numerals?

How many weeks are there in a light year?

If Barbie's so popular, why do you have to buy all her friends?

If space is a vacuum, who changes the bags?

If tin whistles are made out of tin, what do they make fog horns out of?

If you shouldn't drink and drive, why do bars have parking lots?

If you jog backwards, will you gain weight?

Why do the signs that say "Slow Children" have a picture of a running child?

Why do they call it "chili" if it's hot?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

[vbhoutex]

That's my man!! The legend!!

[mf_dolphin]

There will never be another one like him.

[Category 5]

Greatest comedian of all time

[Stephanie]

He often admitted that he loved playing with words and sayings. That's what made him so great!

We miss you George! You were the best.

[vbhoutex]

The man was absolutely CRAZY!! And imo he is the best ever!! I have fond memories of an appearance he did here in Houston which I was his "chauffer" for. I thought I was going to pass out I was laughing so hard most of the time I was around him.

[arkess7]

I love George Carlin....I have some of his stuff on vhs tapes......Uh when did he pass away??? I never heard.......man i must be lost.....