Redneck Medical Dictionary

[CaptinCrunch]

Artery.........................The study of paintings
Benign.......................What you be after you be eight
Bacteria.....................Back door to cafeteria
Barium.......................What doctors do when patients die
Cesarean Section....A neighborhood in Rome
Catscan.....................Searching for Kitty
Cauterize..................Made eye contact with her
Colic...........................A sheep dog
Coma.........................A punctuation mark
D&C...........................Where Washington is
Dilate.........................To live long
Enema.......................Not a friend
Fester.........................Quicker than someone else
Fibula.........................A small lie
G.I.Series..................World Series of military baseball
Hangnail...................What you hang your coat on
Impotent....................Distinguished, well known
Labor Pain...............Getting hurt at work
Medical Staff............A Doctor's cane
Morbid.......................A higher offer than I bid
Nitrates.....................Cheaper than day rates
Node.........................I knew it
Outpatient.................A person who has fainted
Pap Smear...............A fatherhood test
Pelvis........................Second cousin to Elvis
Post Operative.........A letter carrier
Recovery Room.......Place to do upholstery
Rectum......................Darn near killed him
Secretion...................Hiding something
Seizure......................Roman emperor
Tablet.........................A small table
Terminal Illness.......Getting sick at the airport
Tumor........................More than one
Urine..........................Opposite of you're out
Varicose....................Near by

Yep that sounds about right

[TexasStooge]

LOL!!!

[JCT777]

LOL!! That was great.

[GalvestonDuck]

You guys have no idea. During orientation at Univ. of KY. Med Center, we had to spend about 30 minutes talking about how eastern Kentuckians talk so that staff (especially foreign doctors) would have a clue what they were talking about.

For example, "I can't make water" means the patient can't urinate. It's called "Oldtimer's Disease," not "Alzheimer's" (kind of makes sense). "Prit near" is close to or pretty near. The one that really cracked me up was "rat cheer" which was when the pain was "right here."

[timNms]

Uh, Oh, Duck....
Believe it or not, I knew what "I can't make water" , etc meant without having to read your definitions. LOL

[GalvestonDuck]

Yeah, I knew what most of them were also (Heck, is there anyone alive who didn't see "Coal Miner's Daughter?" ). And some of them aren't just attributed to eastern KY. They're used throughout the south. But the EK dialect is awfully unique. So even if the words are the same, the way it's "pur-nounced" is different.