"Hamwinkies" The Crazy News Thread

[rainstorm]

'Flames of passion' prove costly

MONCKS CORNER, S.C. - The flames of passion cost a former firefighter $200 after he and his then-girlfriend had sex in upscale house that was still under construction.

Former Hanahan firefighter Paul Joseph Sloan, 25, pleaded guilty Tuesday to a single charge of unlawful entry into an enclosed place.

Full Story Here

sounds like fun

[TexasStooge]

Brazilians in fuss over claim puppies born to cat

PASSO FUNDO, Brazil (Reuters) - Geneticist Adil Pacheco took blood samples on Friday from three puppies in a poor neighborhood in Passo Fundo in southern Brazil to settle a dispute over a claim they were born from a cat.

"It's rather simple really. If the puppies prove to have 78 chromosomes, they are dogs. If they have 38, they are cats," said Pacheco, director of the Institute of Biological Sciences of the University of Passo Fundo.

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If you wanna make a fus at something, make a fuss at those who fuss about this issue.
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Missouri's Tightwad Bank to close

KANSAS CITY, Mo. (AP) - A small-town bank that drew $2.2 million in deposits from around the country because of its unusual name will close Jan. 31.

The Tightwad Bank opened on a shoestring 22 years ago in the small community along Missouri 7 halfway between Clinton and Warsaw.

Now, UMB Bank Warsaw, which operates the bank, is cutting costs and has urged customers to do their banking at its branches in Clinton and Warsaw.

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That's one less bank to rob.
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"Beauty salon for the dead"

By Tom Armitage

GUBEN, Germany (Reuters Life!) - A disused factory in an economically depressed east German town has been turned into a "beauty salon for the dead" by anatomist Gunther von Hagens.

He has opened a production line for his so-called plastination process in which the bodies of donors are preserved in hard resin and dissected in slices, often for sale as anatomy teaching aides.

Von Hagens's "Body Worlds" exhibition of "plastinated" human bodies has caused controversy in several European cities where it has toured.

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Uhhh...

[TexasStooge]

Royal flush: NYC gets fancy 'thrones'

By COLLEEN LONG, Associated Press Writer

NEW YORK - Even amid the flashing lights and dizzying colors of Times Square, this is one tourist magnet that's hard to miss: a huge, glowing blue sign bearing the word "Restrooms" and an arrow pointing down.

In a public relations extravaganza that just begged for potty humor, a toilet-paper company rolled out a fit-for-royalty complex of new public thrones in Times Square on Monday, just in time for the busy holiday season.

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I wonder if they're gonna use "toilet humor" on those thrones.
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Free Viagra spices up small town life

BRASILIA, Brazil (Reuters) - The mayor of a small Brazilian town has begun handing out free Viagra, spicing up the sex lives of dozens of elderly men and their partners.

"Since we started the free distribution of sexual stimulants, our elderly population changed. They're much happier," said Joao de Souza Luz, the mayor of Novo Santo Antonio, a small town in the central state of Mato Grosso.

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You can keep the free viagra.
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Man files complaint in dog feces dispute

HERMOSA BEACH, Calif. (AP) - A quadriplegic man has filed a complaint in Los Angeles Superior Court against the Hermosa Beach police claiming he was thrown to the ground after a dispute over who would pick up his dog's feces. David Nicholls said his civil rights were violated in August 2005 while he was walking his service dog along the beach.

The 43-year-old man claims he was first yelled at by a hotel employee for not picking up after his dog, a job he claims belonged to the hotel worker. The hotel worker then flagged down a police officer who told Nicholls to stop his wheelchair.

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Amazing what childish behavior can result to...

[TexasStooge]

Manila stops real version of "Snakes on a Plane"

MANILA (Reuters) - Manila airport officials prevented a real life version of horror flick "Snakes on a Plane" this week when they stopped more than 130 reptiles, including poisonous cobras, from boarding a flight to Bangkok.

Dozens of lizards, wearing diapers to conceal the stench of their urine, and 60 snakes concealed in water bottles, were discovered Tuesday inside two suitcases belonging to a Filipino woman, airport officials said.

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I can't stand that film.
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Recliner saves man who was shot in head

WALNUT CREEK, Calif. (AP) - Now comes another reason to stay put in the La-Z-Boy: A man sitting in his easy chair was shot in the head by his wife, but the sturdy recliner absorbed most of the bullet's force and left him virtually unscathed.

The couple had been arguing at home on Sunday evening, said Contra Costa County sheriff's Lt. Charles Skuce. Then Jan Kamp stood behind her seated husband and fired a gun at the back of his head, Skuce said.

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Just goes to show, you have to be a couch potato to live longer.
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Woman, 92, dies in shootout with police

ATLANTA (AP) - A police official said narcotics officers were justified in returning fire on a 92-year-old woman they shot to death after she shot them as they tried to serve a warrant at her house.

Neighbors and relatives said it was a case of mistaken identity. But police said the woman, identified as Kathryn Johnston, was the only resident in the house at the time and had lived there for about 17 years.

Assistant Chief Alan Dreher said the officers had a legal warrant and "knocked and announced" before they forced open the door. He said they were justified in shooting once they were fired upon.

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Do I see a wrongful death suit?
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Blood tests debunk cat-puppy claim

SAO PAULO, Brazil (Reuters) - Brazil's cat-puppy mystery has been solved.

Blood tests refute a Brazilian woman's claim that her cat had given birth to three puppies, geneticist Adil Pacheco said Tuesday.

Cassia Aparecida de Souza, 18, from a poor neighborhood of Passo Fundo in southern Brazil, said last Friday that her cat Mimi had given birth to the three puppies as well as three kittens, which did not survive.

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There Cassia, are you happy now?

[TexasStooge]

Group scraps attempt to smoke biggest joint

AMSTERDAM (Reuters) - A plan to roll and smoke the world's largest joint was cancelled at short notice in Amsterdam when the organizers realized they could be breaking the law.

"We have now read the small print and realize there could be problems," Thijs Verheij, one of the organizers, was quoted as saying by ANP news agency after consulting Dutch drugs laws.

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No joint smokin' in my neighborhood either.
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U.S. shoppers hopping mad over frog dissection kit

NEW YORK (Reuters) - On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me ... a frog dissection kit?

Shoppers at upscale U.S. menswear and accessory store Jack Spade in Manhattan's trendy SoHo district were hopping mad to see frog dissection kits selling alongside $775 leather file cases and $145 Italian calfskin passport holders.

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I can handle this kind of kit.
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Copper thieves snarl Australian rail system

SYDNEY (Reuters) - Audacious thieves hoping to get rich in a "red gold" rush have caused serious transport disruptions by stealing copper wire from a major Australian train network, officials said.

There had been at least 20 incidents of overhead wires being stolen on Melbourne's rail network since September, a rail spokeswoman said, causing disruptions to about 500 train services and stranding thousands of passengers.

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And That's news to me? We had a similar situation when the copper thieves halted the DART light rail service in Dallas.
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Canadian women's gym gets OK to bar men

VANCOUVER, British Columbia (Reuters Life!) - A Canadian women's fitness gym was cleared on Tuesday of charges that it illegally discriminated against a man by barring him from becoming a customer.

A British Columbia Human Rights Tribunal said Ralph Stopps was not unfairly hurt by being refused membership in Just Ladies Fitness, which markets itself to women who do not want to use coed facilities.

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And I suppose the Men's gym is gonna bar women...

[TexasStooge]

Turkeys try for fast train out of Jersey

RAMSEY, N.J. (AP) - Some wild turkeys, it appears, were trying to get out of New Jersey before Thanksgiving Day. A spokesman for the NJ Transit said train officials reported a dozen or so wild turkeys waiting on a station platform in Ramsey, about 20 miles northwest of New York City, on Wednesday afternoon. The line travels to Suffern, N.Y.

"For a moment, it looked like the turkeys were waiting for the next outbound train," said Dan Stessel, a spokesman for NJ Transit. "Clearly, they're trying to catch a train and escape their fate."

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You can run, but you can't hide.
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Man eats 4.8 pounds of turkey in 12 min.

NEW YORK (AP) - There won't be any turkey for Patrick Bertoletti on Thanksgiving — he got his fill the day before. Bertoletti, a 21-year-old culinary student from Chicago, won the annual turkey-eating contest at Artie's Deli on Wednesday, eating 4.8 pounds of the holiday bird — a full pound more than the second-place finisher.

The eight contestants in the competition had 12 minutes to eat as much of a 12-pound turkey as they could manage. And their handling of the birds wouldn't have won them any etiquette medals.

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So That's where the escaping Turkeys ended up.

[TexasStooge]

China ant-breeding project has sting in the tail

BEIJING (Reuters) - A company in northeast China raised $379 million from gullible members of the public by promising big profits from a project to breed ants, Xinhua news agency said Friday.

The Donghua Ecological Breeding Company, in Liaoning province, offered returns of 35 to 60 percent on investment in the bogus project, Xinhua said. The state agency cited the Public Security Ministry which had detailed the case as an example of how fraudsters were becoming more imaginative.

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Look out, picnic-goers!!
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Swingers swap sex partners in prudish Singapore

By Wee Sui Lee

SINGAPORE (Reuters) - Every two months, dozens of couples meet in a pub in Singapore, have drinks, mingle, and then decide whether they want to sleep with one another.

In Sydney or Seattle nobody would bat an eyelid, but the couples are part of a thriving underground swinging scene that is an anomaly for a country where oral sex is illegal and Playboy magazine is banned.

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That's just nasty!
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Fur flies after Mariah Carey donates it to charity

BEIJING (Reuters) - A $7,500 fur coat donated by pop diva Mariah Carey and intended for Mongolia's poor has disappeared, a leading animal rights group said Thursday.

Carey donated the fur coat to People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) which told Reuters it had since been lost on its way to Mongolia, where it was to be given to nomads to help them keep warm in the winter.

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You mean the fur is stolen...or it literally went flying?

[rainstorm]

HERMOSA BEACH, Calif. (AP) - A quadriplegic man has filed a complaint in Los Angeles Superior Court against the Hermosa Beach police claiming he was thrown to the ground after a dispute over who would pick up his dog's feces. David Nicholls said his civil rights were violated in August 2005 while he was walking his service dog along the beach.

The 43-year-old man claims he was first yelled at by a hotel employee for not picking up after his dog, a job he claims belonged to the hotel worker. The hotel worker then flagged down a police officer who told Nicholls to stop his wheelchair.


i dont blame the cops at all

[TexasStooge]

Ziggy the cat's 17-day journey from Israel to UK

LONDON (Reuters) - Ziggy the cat used up at least one of his nine lives after surviving for 17 days without food on a 2,300 mile voyage that took him from northern Israel to England.

The skinny white cat named after Ziggy Stardust -- the character created by David Bowie in the 1970s, because like the rock star he has one green and one blue eye -- made his epic trip as a stowaway in a 40-foot container.

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That poor cat.
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Tenn. jail Web cam jeopardizes security

NASHVILLE, Tenn. (AP) - An East Tennessee county that has beamed live 24-hour video from its jail on the Internet for nearly six years may nix the practice following complaints of harassment and security concerns.

Some viewers have been using the cameras to harass female jailers by calling them on the telephone and taunting them as they work, according to Anderson County sheriff's officials.

In other cases, viewers are tracking inmate movements and using the information to coordinate deliveries of contraband to prisoners on work details outside the jail.

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Don't wanna be watched doing the time, don't get caught doing the crime.
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PETA mistakenly targets Alaska church

ANCHORAGE, Alaska (AP) - The pastor at Anchorage First Free Methodist Church was mystified. Why was the activist group People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals chastising him? No animals are harmed in the church's holiday nativity display. In fact, animals aren't used at all.

People, however, do dress the parts — Mary, Joseph, the wise men, etc. The volunteers stand shivering at a manger on the church lawn in a silent tribute to Christmas.

The Rev. Jason Armstrong was confused by an e-mail this week from PETA, which admonished him for subjecting animals "to cruel treatment and danger," by forcing them into roles in the church's annual manger scene.

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[TexasStooge]

"Chunder Down Under" for ailing Elton

SYDNEY (Reuters) - Elton John's latest Australian tour got off to an inauspicious start when the British pop superstar had to leave the stage briefly to be sick, local media reported Monday.

John was about to perform "Crocodile Rock," one of the most popular songs of his four-decade career, Sunday when he felt unwell and left the stage in Brisbane for about five minutes.

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"And you can tell everybody this is my chunder..."
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Man seeks record for arm hair length

JACKSON, Wis. (AP) - Jon Sanford takes good care of his hair, washing it regularly and conditioning it occasionally. Now he might break a record for that hair — on his arms.

One particularly long strand measured 4.1 inches. If the measurement is ruled official by Guinness World Records, Sanford will have topped the previous record of 3.96 inches.

"It's my mutant hair," said Sanford, 37.

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I preferrably rather have little or no hair on my arm.
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Man drives into subway tunnel by mistake

LISBON, Portugal (AP) - A driver took a wrong turn and headed down a subway tunnel in Portugal's second-largest city Monday.

The driver, who was alone in his vehicle and was said to be in his fifties, veered down a ramp set aside for emergency vehicles during the morning commute in Porto.

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Oh, crap!!
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Man on trial for putting baby in freezer

OTTAWA (Reuters) - A Canadian man who could not figure out how to deal with his girlfriend's feverish 10-month-old daughter put the baby into a freezer to cool her down, a local newspaper reported on Friday.

Derrick Hardy faces charges of criminal negligence and assaulting the infant, who was rescued when her mother came home, the Charlottetown Guardian said.

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So much for being elected as the next flavor for Baskin Robbins.

[TexasStooge]

IHOP changes policy of asking for IDs

QUINCY, Mass. (AP) - John Russo has been a victim of identity theft. So when he was asked to fork over a photo ID just to be seated at an IHOP pancake restaurant, he flipped. "'You want my license? I'm going for pancakes, I'm not buying the Hope diamond,' and they refused to seat us," Russo said, recounting his experience this week at the Quincy IHOP.

The restaurant now has agreed to reverse the policy of requiring customers to turn over their driver's licenses before they can order — a rule that was enacted to discourage "dine and dash" thefts.

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I thought I saw another hidden scammer in the business.
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Pair claim they got 'sauced' over camera

By BETSY TAYLOR, Associated Press Writer

ST. LOUIS, Mo. - The Rittenbergs planned to shoot family movies with a new camcorder. They may have to settle for a family pasta dinner, instead. The couple paid about $1,600 for a camcorder at a Best Buy store in the St. Louis suburb of Ellisville last week. They said when they opened the box, they found something they hadn't pictured: a jar of Classico pasta sauce where the camera should have been.

"The only thing I thought was, 'you've got to be kidding me,'" Melisa Rittenberg, 36, of the southeast Missouri town Perryville, said.

Also inside the box was a telephone cord and an electric outlet cover, all positioned in the box where the camera equipment should have been. So far, they're stuck with the spicy red pepper sauce, though a Best Buy manager said the company is working to resolve the matter.

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I'd be surprised if I find anything but the camera in the box.
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Wild boars rampage through village

BERLIN, Gewrmany (Reuters) - A pack of wild boars fleeing hunters went on a two-hour rampage through a small southern German village, biting people and damaging cars and shops.

The weekend mayhem began during morning shopping hours in the town of Veitshoechheim, a police spokesman said Tuesday. Three boars were shot by police, a number of others were killed in traffic accidents and several bit pedestrians.

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Sounds like a copycat of "Running With The Bulls".
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Police: Hired hit man foils Allen husband's plan

By STEVE STOLER / WFAA ABC 8

ALLEN, Texas - Not long after an Allen man left town to visit relatives for Thanksgiving, police said his plan to kill his wife and unborn child was blown by the man he hired to do the job.

As Roxanne Sterling entered her bedroom after returning to her Allen home around 4:00 p.m. Tuesday, police said she was confronted by an intruder.

"The intruder informs her that her husband wants her dead and instructs her to call the police," said Robert Flores, an Allen police officer.

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There's something you wouldn't expect from a hired hit man.

[TexasStooge]

Wishing wells contain money mountain

By Jennifer Hill

LONDON, England (Reuters Life!) - Ever wondered how much money the world's wishing wells contain?

One in five UK adults regularly throws a copper or two into wishing wells and fountains, a study shows, spending an average of 31 pence at tourist sites such as Rome's Trevi Fountain.

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"I wish that I have more money."
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Squirrel OK after fiery chimney surprise

TWO RIVERS, Wis. (AP) - One squirrel got a fiery surprise when it apparently got curious about a chimney. The squirrel fell down a chimney at a Two Rivers home and landed in a fire in a fireplace Monday night, said Two Rivers Assistant Fire Chief Gary Shavlik.

The squirrel escaped the fire and ran around the house, Shavlik said.

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Lightning Bolt the Super Squirrel survives another day!!
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Court: U.S. discriminates against blind with currency

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - The U.S. government discriminates against blind people because American currency is not designed to be distinguishable to visually impaired people, a federal judge said on Tuesday.

U.S. District Judge James Robertson said the government needed to figure out a way to design and distribute currency that includes an element to help blind people tell the bills apart.

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OK, now that's just wrong.
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Chess players to face anti-doping measures

DOHA (Reuters) - Chess's world governing body will introduce dope testing at the Asian Games this week, although the sport's top official in Doha said he had no idea how drugs could enhance chess performance.

"I would not know which drug could possibly help a chess player to improve his game," competition manager Yousuf Ahmad Ali said.

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"Checkmate!"

[TexasStooge]

Please fasten your seatbelt and cross your legs.

BEIJING (Reuters) - A Chinese airline has calculated that it takes a liter of fuel to flush the toilet at 30,000 feet and is urging passengers to go to the bathroom before they board.

As Chinese airlines come under increasing pressure to cut fuel expenditures, China Southern's latest strategy is to encourage passengers "to spend their pennies before boarding the aircraft," Xinhua news agency reported Thursday.

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Oh great. What would happen in mid-air?!?!?!
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"I'll be sick, for Christmas, you can plan on me"

By Ellen Wulfhorst

NEW YORK (Reuters Life!) - 'Tis the season for calling in sick, especially if you're not sick at all.

One in three workers has called in sick when they're not in the past year, and the end-of-year holiday season brings a rash of phony absences, experts and studies say.

Harried workers are juggling shopping, holiday preparations and family obligations this time of year, on top of perhaps having run out of the year's legitimate vacation days, they say. And the mornings after holiday parties don't help.

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...especially if you have to work on Christmas Day (which is wrong).
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Battle rages on over fireman who ate dog food

By Dan Whitcomb

LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - A black firefighter who stood to collect nearly $3 million over a prank involving dog food in his spaghetti is at the center of a political and racial furor in Los Angeles, where city leaders failed on Wednesday to put the case to rest.

After two days of grappling with Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa's veto of a $2.7 million settlement in a racial discrimination lawsuit filed by 19-year fire department veteran Tennie Pierce, the City Council voted to send the case back to the drawing board.

"Before we render a decision to settle in the amount of $2.7 million, lets look at all the evidence," Villaraigosa said at a news conference. "Lets ensure that all the facts are on the table."

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Coming to theaters: "How To Eat Fried Dog Food".
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Court: Boy can't join girls' gym team

By RYAN J. FOLEY, Associated Press Writer

MADISON, Wis. - A state appeals court on Thursday rejected a lawsuit by a boy who wanted to compete on his high school's girls' gymnastics team.

The District 4 Court of Appeals upheld a judge's dismissal of Keith Michael Bukowski's lawsuit against the Wisconsin Interscholastic Athletic Association, which has a rule prohibiting boys from competing in girls' sports.

Bukowski filed the lawsuit as a junior at Stevens Point Area High School in 2004. He argued the WIAA rule preventing him from trying out for and competing on the girl's gymnastics team discriminated against him because his school did not have a boys' team.

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[Regit]

Court: Boy can't join girls' gym team

By RYAN J. FOLEY, Associated Press Writer

MADISON, Wis. - A state appeals court on Thursday rejected a lawsuit by a boy who wanted to compete on his high school's girls' gymnastics team.

The District 4 Court of Appeals upheld a judge's dismissal of Keith Michael Bukowski's lawsuit against the Wisconsin Interscholastic Athletic Association, which has a rule prohibiting boys from competing in girls' sports.

Bukowski filed the lawsuit as a junior at Stevens Point Area High School in 2004. He argued the WIAA rule preventing him from trying out for and competing on the girl's gymnastics team discriminated against him because his school did not have a boys' team.

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This boy is either a troublemaker or a genius.

[TexasStooge]

Shops destroy Santas giving "Hitler salute"

BERLIN (Reuters) - A German chain of shops has removed miniature wooden Santa Claus figures from its shelves and destroyed them after customers complained it looked like they were giving the stiff-armed Hitler salute that is outlawed.

Josef Lange, a spokesman for the Rossmann chain that has 1,200 outlets, told Reuters Friday the figures depicting Father Christmas with his right arm stiffly upright toward the sky and holding a sack in his left hand upset some customers.

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That's one infamous toy not to give to your kids this Christmas.
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Teen crashes car after hearing doll cry

PLEASANTON, Calif. (AP) - The perils of parenting apparently can be discovered through a classroom project.

A startled 17-year-old girl swerved her car into a freeway guardrail and slammed into a pickup truck after the realistic-sounding baby doll in her care suddenly began to cry.

The teenager had just picked up the doll as part of a school project on responsible parenting minutes before the accident occurred Tuesday on I-580, said Steve Creel, a spokesman for the California Highway Patrol.

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She definitely flunked her project there.
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Blind man sentenced to library course

ISTANBUL (Reuters) - A blind Turkish pensioner has been sentenced to a 26-day reading and writing course at his local public library after he failed to vote on time in an election for his village cooperative, his son said Friday.

A prosecutor in the province of Kutahya in northwest Turkey sentenced Ismail Canseven, 73, to the education course after he did not show up for the election of the cooperative's board of directors in May, Isa Canseven told Reuters.

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It's better than prison, right?

In other blind people news:
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Legally blind woman, 94, bowls a 244

CENTRALIA, Wash. (AP) - Esther Medley of Centralia is legally blind, but when she bowls she can glimpse a bit of the floor to line up with the lane.

Medley, 94, can't see straight ahead, so her 86-year-old husband Ralph tells her which pins are left after her first ball.

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Even I couldn't beat her.
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Police use Taser on python to free man

UNIONTOWN, Pa. (AP) - A police officer used a Taser to subdue a python that had wrapped itself around a man's arm and would not let go.

Steve Crilly, 47, was feeding a rat to the eight-foot-long albino Burmese python, which belongs to his daughter, when it when it bit his left hand and wrapped tightly around his left arm Wednesday night, Uniontown patrolman Ray Miller said.

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That's one way to subdue a python.

[rainstorm]

LONDON, England (Reuters Life!) - Ever wondered how much money the world's wishing wells contain?

One in five UK adults regularly throws a copper or two into wishing wells and fountains, a study shows, spending an average of 31 pence at tourist sites such as Rome's Trevi Fountain.

i wish i could steal that money

[TexasStooge]

Stars face court action over kiss

BHOPAL, India (Reuters Life!) - A kissing scene from a movie starring Bollywood actors Aishwarya Rai and Hrithik Roshan has irked a lawyer who has filed a criminal case against them, accusing them of obscenity, he said on Sunday.

Shailendra Dwivedi of Indore, near Bhopal, the capital of central Madhya Pradesh state, said the scene from the movie, titled "Dhoom 2," lowered the dignity of Indian women and gave an obscene message to youth.

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If you want somebody to face court action, make the actors of "Brokeback Mountain" face a court hearing.
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Saudi women can sell - not drive - cars

By DONNA ABU-NASR, Associated Press Writer

RIYADH, Saudi Arabia — Saudi women still can't drive cars, but they can sell them. Potential buyers can go to an all-women showroom where, for the first time, other women will help them choose a car and answer questions about horsepower, carburetors and other automotive features.

Neither the saleswomen nor the female buyers can take the car out for a test drive because women are banned from driving in Saudi Arabia — even though they have been allowed to own cars for decades and hire male drivers. Almost half the autos belong to women.

The kingdom's strict interpretation of Islam has long limited what women can do outside the home, seeking to keep them from coming into contact with men who aren't relatives.

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Sell my family a car!!
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Manager arrested for garbage in lard

BEIJING (AP) - A factory manager in east China has been arrested for using grease from swill, sewage, pesticides and recycled industrial oil to make lard for human consumption, state media said Monday in the country's latest food scare.

Ying Fuming, a manager at the Fanchang Grease Factory in Taizhou, a city in Zhejiang province, sold the lard at half the price of other wholesalers while promising that his product met safety standards, the Shanghai Daily said.

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"Safety standards" my eye. I've heard of recycled oil, but that's just disgusting.
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Swedes guard Christmas goat from vandals

By MATTIAS KAREN, Associated Press Writer

STOCKHOLM, Sweden (AP) - For 40 years it has been torched, vandalized, had its legs cut off and even been run over by a car. But officials in the Swedish city of Gavle are guaranteeing that this year's giant straw Christmas goat — the victim of Sweden's most violent yule tradition — will survive unscathed.

The 43-foot-high goat — a centuries-old yule symbol that preceded Santa Claus as the bringer of gifts to Swedish homes — has been burned down 22 times since it was first set up in Gavle's square on Dec. 3, 1966.

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What took them so long?
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Try wearing white at this wedding

BEIJING (Reuters Life!) - A Chinese coal mine has made the news for a reason other than the grim series of accidents nationwide -- it is claiming a world record for the the highest number of simultaneous weddings held underground.

The Datong Coal Group in Shanxi province held weddings for 10 miners on Saturday 300 metres (1,000 ft) down the pitshaft, the People's Daily said on Monday.

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Why do you think I stay away from coal mines?

[TexasStooge]

It could be Greater with a road right about here

BEIJING (Reuters) - A Chinese company that had sought to build a highway through the Great Wall paid a fine for damaging the structure Sunday, days after new penalties were enacted to protect China's most famous tourist attraction, state media reported.

Hongji Landbridge Investment Development Inc. paid 500,000 yuan ($63,800) in penalties for deliberately damaging a section of the Great Wall in Inner Mongolia as part of an unauthorized road project, the official Xinhua news agency reported.

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Nobody touches the Great Wall of China...
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Bad news for dieters who ride the bus...

SAN FRANCISCO, Calif. (Reuters Life!) - Hoping to stir up thirst for milk, officials installed advertisements in several San Francisco bus shelters on Monday that give off the scent of freshly baked cookies.

The technology that creates the scent is very similar to that used in magazine ads. Scented adhesives are placed throughout the interior of the bus shelters, including under the benches.

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The biggest joke of 'em all: Maury Povich was just discussing overweight babies that gotta eat 24/7.
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Woman finds bat in Christmas tree

NIPOMO, Calif. (AP) - Sheila Kearns had a Christmas tree delivered to her home on Sunday. She says she thought she'd been pricked by pine needles when she reached into the tree while decorating it. But the next morning, she found a bat hanging upside down in her home.

It turns out that the Christmas tree farm Kearns bought from keeps bats around for pest control and that one unwittingly hitched a ride to her home.

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I'm guessing the "Partridge in a Pear Tree" wasn't exciting enough.
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Brooklyn sidewalk caves in, swallows

NEW YORK (AP) - A woman out walking Monday was swallowed by the sidewalk when it caved in under her.

The woman, 64, fell into a sinkhole about 5 feet by 2 feet wide and about 5 feet deep in front of a house in the Canarsie section of Brooklyn.

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I'm a little too scared to go down that neighborhood.

[TexasStooge]

Flatulence forces plane to land

NASHVILLE, Tenn. (AP) - An American Airlines flight was forced to make an emergency landing Monday morning after a passenger lit a match to disguise the scent of flatulence, authorities said.

The Dallas-bound flight was diverted to Nashville after several passengers reported smelling burning sulfur from the matches, said Lynne Lowrance, spokeswoman for the Nashville International Airport Authority. All 99 passengers and five crew members were taken off and screened while the plane was searched and luggage was screened.

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"I'm baking air biscuits, get 'em while they're hot!"
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World chess champion loses to computer

BONN, Germany (AP) - World chess champion Vladimir Kramnik lost his final game in a match against computer program Deep Fritz on Tuesday, ceding a hard-fought Man vs. Machine series 4-2.

Kramnik, seeking a final win to level the match, played an unbalanced opening with Black. He built up a good position and equalized. But he then went astray, losing a pawn from which he never recovered.

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AWWWW, Poor baby!
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Officers keep record of beautiful women

STOCKHOLM, Sweden (AP) - Two Swedish border control officers risk disciplinary action for keeping a photo collection of "exceptionally beautiful" women that passed through their checkpoint, police officials said Tuesday.

The officers, who were working at a ferry terminal near Stockholm, made photocopies of the women's passport photos and placed them in a binder. They also noted the date of birth next to each entry, the Stockholm police department said.

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Oh, that's sick!

[rainstorm]

BEIJING (AP) - A factory manager in east China has been arrested for using grease from swill, sewage, pesticides and recycled industrial oil to make lard for human consumption, state media said Monday in the country's latest food scare.

Ying Fuming, a manager at the Fanchang Grease Factory in Taizhou, a city in Zhejiang province, sold the lard at half the price of other wholesalers while promising that his product met safety standards, the Shanghai Daily said.

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does it taste good