TWW'S CRAZY NEWS STORIES

[TexasStooge]

How would you like to meet these guys?

LONDON, England (Reuters) - A British government worker has been fired and another demoted following allegations they were involved in serious misconduct, including leaping naked from filing cabinets and having sex in office lavatories.

Newspaper reports said staff at the Rural Payments Agency (RPA) in Newcastle in northeast England also took drugs at work, brawled in the reception area and carried out pranks such as vomiting in cups and leaving them for other people to find.

"Action has been taken to strengthen RPA Newcastle with a senior manager drafted in to take charge while the investigation and series of disciplinary actions to resolve some instances of serious misconduct and behavioral problems there is concluded," the RPA said in a statement Tuesday.

An investigation into the alleged misconduct was launched on May 24 after an internal memo was sent to managers by repulsed fellow workers, the statement said.

[TexasStooge]

China irked by topless women's health ad

BEIJING, China (Reuters) - A Chinese TV presenter issued a public apology after posing topless with two other women in hospital advertisements for women's health, the Beijing News said Tuesday.

Chen Dan, a presenter on Changsha TV's "Women's channel" in the southeastern province of Hunan, drew fire from Internet chat-rooms and station bosses after her "Clever Girls Love Themselves More" advertisement appeared at bus stops and on billboards in Hunan's capital, Changsha.

Chen, who was suspended from presenting duties said it was a "public interest advertisement," the Beijing News said.

"My intentions were good," the paper quoted her as saying. "I hoped to draw people's attention to women's health, but because the format was inappropriate it caused a huge backlash. In future I will choose more suitable ways of publicizing women's health."

The advertisement provoked fierce debate online and in local media over the morality of using nudity to promote public interest causes, and whether the article was a commercial stunt for the women or Changsha's Shangmei Gynecology Hospital.

"What a shame breasts have become the leading actor," the official Xinhua news agency said in a commentary.

"This is a serious attack on women," fumed an online commentator. "It goes completely beyond the moral and aesthetic baseline."

The "Clever Girls" advertisement furor followed a controversy over several actresses who posed nude in support of breast cancer prevention in a lifestyle magazine in October 2005.

[TexasStooge]

Underwear photo ripped from N.J. yearbooks

PHILLIPSBURG, N.J. (AP) - The 2006 edition of the yearbook at Phillipsburg High School showed a little bit more than school spirit, and now is a tad thinner for it.

School officials ripped a page out of hundreds of students' yearbooks because it contained a photograph that showed a student's underwear.

The picture on page 224 showed a female student wearing a skirt and sitting on a desk during a play; a bit of her underwear could be seen.

"The picture was questionable," said school superintendent H. Gordon Pethick. "It's the best way I can describe it."

Pethick said a relative of the student asked for the picture to be removed, so officials took it out of hundreds of copies of the yearbook.

Pethick said the page was being reprinted without the questionable picture and students will receive the replacement within a month or so.

Some students at the Warren County school were upset by the removal of the pages, The Express-Times of Easton, Pa., reported in Tuesday's newspapers. Besides the offending photo, seven other drama pictures and nine pictures from a pep rally that were on the same page and its other side were removed.

"First of all, people paid for these. They belong to the students," Phillipsburg High School senior Katie Rockware told the newspaper. "They are expensive. It's like them saying, 'Excuse me, can I just destroy your personal property?' I thought it was so ridiculous."
___

Information from: The Express-Times

[TexasStooge]

Baa, Baa Black Sheep blacklisted

NEW DELHI (Reuters) - An Indian state has removed nursery rhymes such as "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star" and "Baa Baa Black Sheep" from its primary school syllabus because they are "too Western," newspapers said Wednesday.

The government in the central state of Madhya Pradesh, run by the Hindu nationalist Bharatiya Janata Party, dropped the rhymes, immensely popular with millions of Indian children, from its Class I syllabus taught to five-year-olds.

"We want our children to have value education in local color," the Hindustan Times quoted Narottam Mishra, the state's school education minister as saying.

Children will now learn English-language rhymes written by Indian poets, papers said.

[TexasStooge]

But who's going to do this sober?

HO CHI MINH CITY (Reuters) - Vietnam's popular karaoke bars, renowned for hard drinking and prostitution, face tough new restrictions starting in July, according to a government decree.

The decree, issued this month by Prime Minister Phan Van Khai and shown to Reuters Wednesday, bans karaoke bar patrons from drinking spirits, imposes fines for public drunkeness and limits the number of servers to one person per room to discourage prostitution.

From July 1, drinking spirits in karaoke lounges is subject to a fine of up to 1.5 million dong ($94), equivalent to a monthly salary of a government official. Public drunkeness in any place out of the home including in clubs and restaurants, is punishable by up to 500,000 dong ($31), the decree said.

Lounge owners would also be fined up to 4 million dong ($250) if they use more than one person per room.

Karaoke is not only recreational but also widely popular business etiquette in the Southeast Asian country of 83 million.

Last week, state oil monopoly Petrovietnam's financial arm ordered 21 officials to write "self-criticism" reports for not singing karaoke at a business contract-signing ceremony.

[TexasStooge]

BYU instructor let go for opposing Mormon stance on gay marriage

PROVO, Utah (AP) – Brigham Young University has decided not to rehire a part-time instructor because he publicly opposed the Mormon church's stand against marriage for same-sex couples.

Jeffrey Nielsen, a philosophy instructor at the church-owned university, said in an op-ed piece for the June 4 edition of The Salt Lake Tribune, "I believe opposing gay marriage and seeking a constitutional amendment against it is immoral."

Leaders of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints have spent millions of dollars campaigning against gay marriage and on May 28 called on members to support a constitutional amendment banning it.

Nielsen, a Mormon, said he learned of the school's decision regarding his employment in a June 8 letter from Daniel Graham, chairman of the Department of Philosophy.

"Since you have chosen to contradict and oppose the church in an area of great concern to church leaders, and to do so in a public forum, we will not rehire you after the current term is over," the letter said.

BYU spokeswoman Carri Jenkins confirmed that Graham decided not to rehire Nielsen because of the op-ed piece.

Nielsen said he is sticking by his views – and his religion.

"I have no desire to be anything but a member of the church," he said Tuesday.
_____________________________________________________________

I've been against gay marriage since this campaign started.

[TexasStooge]

Man survives elevator ordeal with cookies

BERLIN, Germany (Reuters) - A German retiree and former elevator repair man had to survive on just a packet of biscuits while he was stuck in a broken hospital elevator for three days.

Karlheinz Schmidt, 68, who had turned up for a routine appointment at a Berlin hospital, slipped out of his wheelchair during the 80-hour ordeal in which he repeatedly pushed the elevator's alarm button without anyone hearing his call for help.

"I was lying on the floor and the elevator went up and down for a bit. I pushed the alarm button several times, but nothing happened," the daily Bild quoted Schmidt as saying. "I thought to myself ... 'Karlheinz, that's it. You're on your own now'."

Schmidt, who appeared on German television looking pale and weak, was finally discovered Monday after a nurse reported the broken lift. Schmidt's son had launched a hunt for his father but rescue workers after scouring the hospital grounds had concentrated efforts on dredging a nearby canal.

[TexasStooge]

Lotto ticket leads to murder suspect

LUBBOCK, Texas (WFAA ABC 8/AP) - A winning Lotto Texas ticket led police to a suspect in the death of a woman in Georgia.

Police have been searching for Kelsey Ruth since they found the body of his 27-year-old ex-girlfriend Tai Morgan at her suburban Atlanta home on Tuesday.

Police suspected that Ruth was headed home to Texas, so they sent wanted posters with photos of Ruth and his car to Texas television stations. About the same time, his mother learned she'd won $3.4 million in the Texas state lottery.

A reporter sent to interview Ruth's mother in Lubbock about the winning ticket recognized the car from the wanted poster and called police. Officers arrived at the house and confirmed the car belongs to Ruth.

Investigators believe Ruth is now hiding in the Lubbock area, and consider him armed and dangerous.

[TexasStooge]

Art gallery loses its head, displays plinth

LONDON, England (Reuters) - One of Britain's most prestigious art galleries put a block of slate on display, topped by a small piece of wood, in the mistaken belief it was a work of art.

The Royal Academy included the chunk of stone and the small bone-shaped wooden stick in its summer exhibition in London.

But the slate was actually a plinth -- a slab on which a pedestal is placed -- and the stick was designed to prop up a sculpture. The sculpture itself -- of a human head -- was nowhere to be seen.

"I think the things got separated in the selection process and the selectors presented the plinth as a complete sculpture," the work's artist David Hensel told BBC radio.

The academy explained the error by saying the plinth and the head were sent to the exhibitors separately.

"Given their separate submission, the two parts were judged independently," it said in a statement. "The head was rejected. The base was thought to have merit and accepted.

"The head has been safely stored ready to be collected by the artist," it added. "It is accepted that works may not be displayed in the way that the artist might have intended."

[TexasStooge]

New dogs learn old tricks -- in Dutch

LONDON,. England (Reuters) - Dog handlers in a British police force are having to take language classes -- to communicate with their latest recruits.

Finding it increasingly hard to find suitable German Shepherds in Britain, some British police forces are bringing in dogs from continental Europe.

But there's a problem.

Although the latest arrivals possess all the attributes needed for police work, they only respond to commands in their native language.

Dog handlers at Avon and Somerset police for example, which has recruited three dogs from the Netherlands, have been given a sheet of practical commands in Dutch.

"We have learned a few Dutch phases which the dogs have been trained to respond to," said Sergeant Hardy Hussain, who traveled to Valkenswaard in the Netherlands with PC Paul Nesbit-Bell and PC Andy MacDonald to choose the dogs.

"The handlers who look after the Dutch dogs are now able to fluently speak the commands," he added in a statement.

The Dutch hounds are expected to be fully operational with the force in eight to 10 weeks.

[TexasStooge]

Drug stashes found at Home Depots

BOSTON, Mass (Reuters) - Police are investigating Massachusetts outlets of Home Depot Inc. after discovering caches of cocaine and marijuana stuffed into merchandise at three local branches of the retail chain.

The investigation began after a shopper found 40 pounds (18.1 kilograms) of marijuana and three kilograms (6.6 pounds) of cocaine in a bathroom cabinet he had bought at Home Depot, said Lt. David Ricardi of the Southwick, Massachusetts, Police Department.

The shopper, a contractor who is not a target of the investigation, bought the cabinet on Monday in Chicopee, Massachusetts, about 90 miles west of Boston.

The drugs have an estimated street value of more than $200,000, Ricardi said.

Working with the U.S. Drug Enforcement Administration, authorities have since found smaller drug caches at two Home Depot locations in Tewksbury, Massachusetts, about 23 miles (37 km) north of Boston, Ricardi said.

In a statement, Atlanta-based Home Depot, which is the world's largest home improvement retailer, said it was "cooperating with authorities as they investigate this matter."

Tony Pettigrew, a New England spokesman for the DEA, confirmed the agency was investigating but declined further comment.

No arrests have been made, Ricardi said. The contractor was not identified.

[TexasStooge]

Officials seek to block Hitler memorial

MILWAUKEE, Wisconsin (Reuters) - A former Nazi officer living on a Wisconsin farm has built a memorial to Adolf Hitler in his bunker-like tractor storage shed, much to the chagrin of local officials.

A court order was being sought to stop Ted Junker, 87, from opening to visitors a 30- by 50-foot (9- by 15-meter) concrete building that he has spent $200,000 outfitting with photos of Hitler, a swastika-emblazoned flag and other items.

Five years ago, officials denied Junker's request to create a more elaborate Hitler memorial and information center. Instead, he got a permit to build the tractor storage shed on his farm in southeastern Wisconsin, which now houses the memorial.

"With the attention that is drawn to this, I am concerned about people's safety," said Michael Cotter, Walworth County's director of land use and resource management, who is seeking the injunction.

"This is a very small area half a mile (km) down a narrow dirt lane with not a lot of places to move. And, if people don't agree with each other and you put them in a small, confined area ... ."

Junker, who came to the United States in 1955 and worked as a janitor in Chicago before buying his farm, has told local media that he believes Hitler was a great leader who is misunderstood. He said he joined the Nazi SS in 1940 and served on the Russian front in World War Two.

No one answered the telephone listed for Junker.

"When people such as Junker say that no one was gassed in the Nazi concentration camps, they are completely overlooking the facts. It's an attempt to try and disprove history," said Kathy Heilbronner of Milwaukee's Jewish Council for Community Relations.

"He's a mixed-up old man, and he's hellbent to do what he is doing," said Loren Waite from the nearby town of Sugar Creek. "I fear for what kind of element this might draw to our area, and I know that we are making preparations for having a problem on our hands."

[TexasStooge]

Town orders man to find new home for goat

MANHATTAN, Mont. (AP) - The town council has ordered Bob Perkins to find a new home for the goat that eats the weeds and grass on his front lawn. "I can have two obnoxious dogs, but not a cute goat," Perkins said.

Mayor Tony Haag said the town of about 1,400 people is growing and cannot afford to allow one of its residents to have a goat. If it did, he said, what would stop other town residents from keeping goats, too?

An adjacent property owner recently complained about the goat, which Perkins has owned for about a year.

Initially, a police officer informed Perkins that keeping the animal in the city could be punishable by a fine and jail time.

The town council voted Tuesday night to force him to remove the goat from the city limits.

Sadie Hensler, who rents a house next to Perkins, wrote a letter to the town council saying the goat was quiet and friendly.

Harold Ralston, who works at a dog-grooming business said, "All it does is mow the lawn."

Before adopting Buddy the goat, Perkins has kept sheep on his property to keep the weeds and grass at bay. Over the years, he has had 13 different sheep, and they were all named Buddy.

"They were a real babe magnet," Perkins said. "It's the way I met half of my ex-wives."
___

Information from: Bozeman Daily Chronicle

[TexasStooge]

Man wants to stop streaker's bikini sale

WELLINGTON, New Zealand (AP) - A New Zealand woman who dashed into a rugby match wearing a skimpy bikini wants to auction the garment online to help pay a fine, but the truck driver who claims he bought the outfit for her wants the sale halted.

If the sale can't be stopped, the man says, the proceeds should rightly should be his.

The Waikato Times newspaper identified the man as a 32-year-old truck driver who used to be the woman's boyfriend, but said that he did not want to be named.

He claimed to have bought the bikini and paid for breast enlargements for Lisa Lewis, who ran onto the pitch during Saturday's internatinal rugby match between New Zealand and Ireland before being escorted away by security guards.

"Counting the boobs and the bikini," Lewis was baring more than 15 thousand New Zealand dollars ($9,340) worth of presents he had given her, the man told the newspaper.

Lewis said she had been friends with the man but added, "he does not own me."

She put the swimsuit up for auction on the TradeMe web site, and said proceeds would go toward paying the fine and court costs she faces after being charged with disorderly behavior.

Bidding had reached NZ$3,520 ($2,190) by mid-afternoon Thursday.

"Help me pay my court costs," said Lewis, who said she had fielded three marriage proposals since her escapade.

The "streak" across the rugby ground was one of "the things to do" before she died, Lewis told the newspaper.

A recent auction on the site saw a NZ$50 ($31) handbag used by former All Blacks captain Tana Umaga hit a teammate in a barroom fracas fetch NZ$23,000 ($14,300).
___

On the "Net: http://www.trademe.co.nz

[TexasStooge]

Owner performs CPR to save his dog

VAIL, Colo. (AP) - When Jack the dog ran into trouble last month, he couldn't have had a better man around to help. Physician Dave Karli and his dog were out for a walk near their home in Edwards while a father and son were playing catch with a baseball nearby.

Jack, a Weimaraner mix, went to get some baseballs on the ground and tried to get several in his mouth.

One went down his throat and got stuck in his airway. Karli said he reached his hand down Jack's throat and was able to remove the ball. He was bitten in the process.

After the ball was removed, Jack remained passed out. Karli did CPR on his dog for about 15 to 20 seconds until Jack regained consciousness.

Chris Roth, a veterinarian at Eagle-Vail Animal Hospital, said he doesn't see a lot of owners having to do CPR on their dogs.

"Not a lot," he said. "But, obviously, it can happen."
___

For more information: http://www.vaildaily.com

[TexasStooge]

Officer's submachine gun stolen at game

DETROIT, Mich. (AP) - A suburban police officer left a submachine gun in his unmarked vehicle while he attended a baseball game downtown, and returned to find it stolen, police said Thursday.

The narcotics officer from Oakland County's West Bloomfield Township left the weapon covered in the back seat of his Jeep while he attended a Detroit Tigers game Wednesday night at Comerica Park, West Bloomfield Police Chief Ron Cronin told local TV stations.

"He gets an `A' for stupidity in this case," Cronin said of the officer, whom he did not identify. "You can bet he's gonna be disciplined."

[TexasStooge]

Woman challenges anti-pig law and wins

COLORADO SPRINGS, Colo. (AP) - The City Council has voted to allow potbellied pigs within the city limits in a 5-4 decision that came after a woman challenged a century-old swine ban in one of the state's biggest cities.

Chrystal McEntee fought for the change after being ticketed when their pet pig got out of the yard. The family can now keep 16-year-old Piggy in their central Colorado Springs neighborhood.

"I'm going to go home and celebrate with my family," she said Tuesday.

The new ordinance allows just the potbellied variety of pigs. Pigs can't exceed 100 pounds, must be spayed or neutered at 4 months of age, must be on a leash and harness in public and will cost owners a $12 registration fee.
___

For more information: http://www.gazette.com

[TexasStooge]

Gold hunter digs 60-foot-deep hole in yard

MONTCLAIR, Calif. (AP) - A homeowner digging for gold in his front yard said he got "carried away" and ended up with a 60-foot-deep hole, authorities said.

Henry Mora, 63, began digging 10 days ago after his gold detector reported a positive hit near his front patio. He told authorities he only intended to go down three or four feet.

"I figured, well, maybe there's something down there — you would logically conclude, right? So I started digging," the semiretired musician said.

He started finding gold dust in the dirt and the detector kept hinting that he was getting closer, so he kept digging.

"It was still beeping, and that just gave me the idea to keep digging," he said.

Fire officials called to the scene Tuesday found two men that Mora hired were inside the hole, using a bucket and rope to remove dirt.

"We told him, 'You're done,'" said Montclair fire Capt. Rich Baldwin. "It's amazing no one got killed."

Authorities fenced off Enrique's property.
_____________________________________________________________

(As Kanye West) "Now I ain't sayin' he a gold hunta, but he keeps diggin' down unda."

[TexasStooge]

Dallas billionaire' son charged with burglary

CORNWALL, Conn. (AP) - A burglar who police say they found groggy and hiding under a table in a Connecticut fly fishing shop last weekend has been identified as the son of billionaire Dallas oil tycoon T. Boone Pickens.

Michael Pickens, 51, of Nocona, Texas, was found Sunday under a table inside the Housatonic Meadows Fly Shop, a shop near Cornwall Bridge, across from Housatonic Meadows State Park, according to Connecticut state police.

Police were called to the store after the owner noticed something wrong and investigators found a nearby stash of items taken from the shop.

Pickens spent three days in jail following his arraignment for burglary Monday in Bantam Superior Court, unable to post a $15,000 bond.

Pickens had rented a room nearby for a weekend of fishing, police said.

The arrest alerted authorities of a bail violation related to allegations of federal securities fraud in New York.

Last year, Pickens was indicted by a grand jury for fraud, deceit and manipulation of federal laws. Arraigned last year, he was set free on $500,000 bond under a promise to appear for future court dates and not violate the law.

As a result of the arrest in Cornwall, Pickens was ordered to appear in U.S. District Court in New York for a bail status hearing Friday.

A judge will hear arguments from prosecutors and decide whether to increase his bond. Pickens faces 20 years in jail if convicted of securities fraud.

[TexasStooge]

3 more Dallas police officers are fired

Latest round of misconduct dismissals brings total to 12

By TANYA EISERER / The Dallas Morning News

DALLAS, Texas - Three more Dallas officers found themselves headed to the unemployment line Thursday.

Police Chief David Kunkle fired them after disciplinary hearings for alleged misconduct ranging from stealing tires from the auto pound to associating with an accused Arkansas drug dealer.

Chief Kunkle has now fired 12 people in the past two weeks for misconduct in his campaign to improve accountability in the department and show the public that no officer is above the law.

The latest firings are:

• Officer Christina Knight: She was fired for being absent without leave from Sept. 18, 2005, through January 3, 2006.

Officer Knight was hired in February, 1998.

• Officer Roshonda Parker: She was accused of associating with convicted felon and drug dealer who now faces federal drug trafficking charges in Arkansas. Officer Parker, 29, and another officer, who had dated him, were placed on leave last August after their connection to him came to light. Her attorney has denied that she associated with him and has said that she will appeal her firing. The other officer resigned on Wednesday.

Officer Parker was hired in 1999. She graduated last in her academy class. She has been repeatedly disciplined for being late and missing court. She received a 15-day suspension in 2003 for an incident in which she hit her ex-boyfriend’s car with a tire iron.

• Officer Johnny Rodriguez: He was fired for engaging in adverse conduct discrediting the department. According to court records, four tires and four wheels belonging to a stolen vehicle worth about $4,000 disappeared from the police auto pound in April 2005. The victim saw what he thought were his tires being offered for sale on E-bay.

A police investigation eventually determined that Officer Rodriguez, 30, had taken the tires from the auto pound. A civilian auto pound employee told detectives that she saw the officer leave with two tires and wheels. Officer Rodriguez denied the allegations and a grand jury twice declined to indict him on a charge of theft by a public servant.

Officer Rodriguez was hired in 2002. He was disciplined for missing court dates once in 2004 and once in 2005.

A fourth officer, Det. Lynette Harrison, was suspended for 10 days. She was arrested on suspicion of driving while intoxicated while off duty in February in Rockwall. The case against her was dismissed.