Rollercoaster year. Request this to be locked.

[artist]

One last thing - having gone thru nar anon - by your just being there when he gets high - even if not participating - you are enabling him - one of the last things you ever want to do. Also you need to show you value your own life enough NOT to be there as well otherwise you are telling him - hey - it's ok. Please check out this site for some very helpful information. You can find a meeting there in Canada that you could go to to help you learn how to deal with this as well.

http://nar-anon.org/index.html

[conestogo_flood]

Thanks.

[artist]

Unfortunately they don't have alot of info about the groups themselves principals online but al-anon is very similar and they have their teen group on line with more info - just substitute the word alcoholic for narcotics abuser.
http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/alateen.html

[Gorky]

I've never touched Marijuana myself, but most of my friends have had varying experiences. The majority are occasional smokers, only smoking at parties etc. A few smoke regularly, as your average person might smoke cigarettes. They all hold down high paid jobs or are PHD students and I honestly can't say that any of them are unpleasant when stoned and whilst I don't care for the drug myself, I can't say I'm bothered by them using it. They are all well adjusted and in control though.

There is one person though... a friend of a friend... who sounds like a similar situation to your friend. He lives to be stoned basically. Recently he was sectioned due to mental health problems, and has had some serious issues as he has been told to lay off the drugs or face 6 months in an institute. I don't think he has any intention of giving up In his case, his mental problems apparently stemmed from depression caused by many events in his life, but I can't help but think that his excessive cannabis use was partly used to get away from these problems. Masking them for years certainly didn't help his mental condition.

I believe that excessive cannabis use can often be a sign of some problems in life. Alcohol is a recreational drug, used by many in moderation and alcohol abuse can usually be attributed to depression and other problems. I feel the same is true of cannabis. It's fine in moderation, but when someone is permantly stoned, he's usually got some reason why life in this stoned state is better than life when sober. Maybe talking to him about it will help. If this is partly to blame for his cannabis usage, then solving these issues might make being sober less painful and he won't use drugs to the extent he does at the moment.

Good luck anyway

[conestogo_flood]

Thank you.

[nholley]

Prepare for the least popular response to this topic:

It sounds to me like he is just being 16. All this talk of cops and rehab seems a little extreme.....express your concerns to him but he is doing exactly the same as probably half the other kids his age.

That said, you didn't go much into what sounds like a case of depression that he has/had and more information on that might change my answer.

I'll get my coat...................

[conestogo_flood]

He was abused as a child.

He is abused now, emotionally and physically by his parents.

He couldn't make friends. I am only his friend because he quietly asked me where the Burger Kings was. I walked him, assuming he was new.

He doesn't know how to talk to people.

He can't express his emotion that good.

He is scared of new things.

He was suicidal, he cut himself bad and ended up in the hospital.

He's been to a few parties in the past.

He is never happy.

[nholley]

He was abused as a child.

He is abused now, emotionally and physically by his parents.

He couldn't make friends. I am only his friend because he quietly asked me where the Burger Kings was. I walked him, assuming he was new.

He doesn't know how to talk to people.

He can't express his emotion that good.

He is scared of new things.

He was suicidal, he cut himself bad and ended up in the hospital.

He's been to a few parties in the past.

He is never happy.

Thats a pretty long list and probably all stems from the first two points. It does make me want to ask the following....why are you worrying more about him smoking pot than his parents abusing him? Abuse is far worse and probably the reason he is trying so hard to fit in.

[conestogo_flood]

Abuse is the reason he is soon moving in for.

I'm worried about him becoming a regular drug addict. He is getting high sometimes three times a week. Honestly, he is getting mixed in with "hard core" stoners. They are the type of people who do ecstacy, acid and etc.

He is going to fry his brain, he is going to ruin his life.

At this point, I am the only thing he has going for him. I will do anything for him. He is going to fade away into a bad crowd, and probably end up in criminal activity, then the hospital, then dead.

He has not "exciting" outlook on anything. He doesn't know what he wants to be. My parents will pay his college tuition, if he can make college. I just got to keep him going.

[Stephanie]

I remember my "phase" in High School (and it did carry on into college). I pretty much was self-medicating myself because I was depressed about moving. The thing is that once you become a part of a pot/drug crowd, the only thing you REALLY have in common are the pot and drugs.

It sounds like your friend needs alot of help and he's using the pot to escape as well. He doesn't have much family support and he doesn't have many friends like you said. He feels like he's fitting in right now with SOMEONE and being accepted. That's a very powerful, seductive thing when you're a teenager (which I'm assuming you are) and you're on the outside looking in. All teenagers need to feel accepted and a part of a group. That's what he is doing. He wants to share it with you because it seems to me that he does value his friendship with you. You are doing the right thing by standing your ground. I don't know if talking to his sister is going to help if she is also smoking it. YOU still need to be there for him, but it does not mean that you have to join in on the activities.

Good luck!

[conestogo_flood]

Thank you.

Good night everyone.

Tomorrow's the day.

[nholley]

Thank you.

Good night everyone.

Tomorrow's the day.

I wish you luck with your friend but I really think that the abuse and effects from it are more important than him smoking pot. You are right to be concerned that pot may lead to harder drugs but this is not always the case.

Your friend needs help for the effects from the abuse he has suffered and will probably need more professional help than you can give.

[TexasStooge]

Thank you.

Good night everyone.

Tomorrow's the day.

I wish you luck with your friend but I really think that the abuse and effects from it are more important than him smoking pot. You are right to be concerned that pot may lead to harder drugs but this is not always the case.

Your friend needs help for the effects from the abuse he has suffered and will probably need more professional help than you can give.

Well said.

[alicia-w]

you can always tell him that you want to be his friend and you want to be there for him but you cant be a part of his social life as long as he continues to partake of illegal substances.

[Scorpion]

I really need help.

My best friend recently discovered marijuana and hash about 5 months ago. He did them with me a few times, but I didn't want to do it, so I didn't inhale and I faked being high.

I don't like drugs, but he does. He is now talking about it all the time with me. Everything turns into some high story, or we should buy some. I say no, but he doesn't listen.

Lately, he is pressuring me. He is making me feel like an idiot. He is telling me why I should get high, and he even does it infront of me.

Once he is in possesion of pot, he changes. He goes from my best friend to stoner wannabe. It is really affecting me in a bad way. I don't like to see him like this. He has no other friends, nor' do I really.

In the past few weeks, he started asking around school for drugs, and he is starting to mix with the stoner kids. He is talking to them between classes, and he is sitting with them at lunch when I am not there.

Once someone mixes in with the stoner kids, you never hear from them again. I cannot afford to lose him.

Today, one of the stoners invited us to a party. I wasn't there, and he said we'd come. He got all excited when he told me, and I refused. Walking home, it was all he talked about. There will be pot there, and probably a little bit of alcohol. This is more a getting high party.

I don't want to go, and I don't want him to go. I'm losing him fast, and I don't know what to do.

I seriously feel like punching him in the face. I am enraged beyond belief.

I don't know how to approach him, and I want to talk with him tomorrow.

It's just, I can't explain what I am feeling. He is my best friend, I cannot live without him. I just have the feeling, we are going to "break up" because of drugs. I just don't know what to do.

Please, can I have some advice. Please!

There is no problem with marijuana or stoners.If you don't choose to do it, then thats ok. However, I don't think you should break ties with him just because he smokes. If he goes to actual drugs though, such as cocaine or chemicals, then get help.

[alicia-w]

just be careful that you arent in a car that he drives etc. if he gets pulled over and searched, so do you. at least, that's the way it works here. you dont need to put yourself in a position like that unnecessarily.

[conestogo_flood]

There is no problem with marijuana or stoners. If you don't choose to do it, then thats ok.

Doing marijuana is not a bad thing? WHAT THE HELL? You must do them. He has done esctacy a few times. I WILL not let him ruin his life. You have no idea how this might turn out, and you will not tell me this is not a problem. You are not me, and you are not him. You don't know his personal life, and you know little to nothing about him.

I told him he is not going to the party Saturday night. I also wrote him a very long note expressing how I feel. I only just gave it to him about an hour ago.

[Yankeegirl]

Wow... I would think that later after this "phase" in his life is over, and you have treated him, I would think that he would thank you for being such a good friend... A lot of kids who fall into that stuff dont have the friends who are as loyal as you are... Your friend is every lucky to have a friend who actually cares about him....

[Stephanie]

Wow... I would think that later after this "phase" in his life is over, and you have treated him, I would think that he would thank you for being such a good friend... A lot of kids who fall into that stuff dont have the friends who are as loyal as you are... Your friend is every lucky to have a friend who actually cares about him....

Well said!

[Scorpion]

There is no problem with marijuana or stoners. If you don't choose to do it, then thats ok.

Doing marijuana is not a bad thing? WHAT THE HELL? You must do them. He has done esctacy a few times. I WILL not let him ruin his life. You have no idea how this might turn out, and you will not tell me this is not a problem. You are not me, and you are not him. You don't know his personal life, and you know little to nothing about him.

I told him he is not going to the party Saturday night. I also wrote him a very long note expressing how I feel. I only just gave it to him about an hour ago.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with marijuana on an occasional basis. The only possible problem is getting caught.