Human Contracts Computer Virus!
Posted: Sun Dec 06, 2009 10:22 pm
The website BetterHumans.com posted a story yesterday describing the first case of a computer virus transmitting to a human.
“Microbiologists have confirmed that a software engineer in Houston, Texas has become the first human to contract a computer virus. An employee of V-Sight Systems, came into contact with the virus through the use of a neural interface that his company is using as part of an effort to develop artifical sight. According to a spokesman, the neural interface provides a gateway from a computer-based neural network into a human brain. V-Sight has suceeded in transmiting simple geometric patterns as electronic images in a way that a subject can "see." In a prepared statement the spokesperson, confirmed that at 12:01 am yesterday morning, numerous computers on their intranet began malfunctioning, and the employee who was connected to the interface at the time, began transmitting large amounts of data to the network, and quickly developed a fever.
A team of software experts, microbiologists, and psychiatrists have been working continuously to grasp this issue while the employee has remained sedated. One microbiologist theorized that the virus was able to gain entrance to the mans brain after sucessfully adapting to the neural nework. He said "It was a relatively small step to make the transition to the brain." The team has been divided over a solution, as one software experts recommended attempting to transmit a virus scanner to the mans brain, while the microbiologist are considering medications to prevent replication on a cellular level. The CFO of V-Sight added, "this is new territory for us, we can't just re-install an operating system in him." All operations at V-Sight have been suspended pending resolution of this problem.
“Microbiologists have confirmed that a software engineer in Houston, Texas has become the first human to contract a computer virus. An employee of V-Sight Systems, came into contact with the virus through the use of a neural interface that his company is using as part of an effort to develop artifical sight. According to a spokesman, the neural interface provides a gateway from a computer-based neural network into a human brain. V-Sight has suceeded in transmiting simple geometric patterns as electronic images in a way that a subject can "see." In a prepared statement the spokesperson, confirmed that at 12:01 am yesterday morning, numerous computers on their intranet began malfunctioning, and the employee who was connected to the interface at the time, began transmitting large amounts of data to the network, and quickly developed a fever.
A team of software experts, microbiologists, and psychiatrists have been working continuously to grasp this issue while the employee has remained sedated. One microbiologist theorized that the virus was able to gain entrance to the mans brain after sucessfully adapting to the neural nework. He said "It was a relatively small step to make the transition to the brain." The team has been divided over a solution, as one software experts recommended attempting to transmit a virus scanner to the mans brain, while the microbiologist are considering medications to prevent replication on a cellular level. The CFO of V-Sight added, "this is new territory for us, we can't just re-install an operating system in him." All operations at V-Sight have been suspended pending resolution of this problem.
