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Tis fixed....what if women ruled the world...

Posted: Thu Nov 20, 2003 3:33 pm
by pojo
If women ruled the world ...

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Women with cold hands would give men prostate exams.

PMS would be a legitimate defense in court.

Men would get reputations for sleeping around.

Singles bars would have metal detectors to weed out men hiding wedding rings in their pockets.

A man would no longer be considered a "good catch" simply because he is breathing.

Fewer women would be dieting because their ideal weight standard would increase by 40 pounds.

Shopping would be considered an aerobic activity

"Ms." Magazine would have an annual swimsuit issue featuring scantily clad male models.

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Men would not be allowed to eat gas-producing foods within two hours of bedtime.

Men would be secretaries for female bosses, working twice as hard for none of the credit.

Little girls would read "Snow White and the Seven Hunks"

Men would earn 70 cents for every dollar women made.

Men would bring drinks, chips and dip to women watching soap operas.

Men would HAVE to get Playboy for the articles, because there would be no pictures.

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Men would learn phrases like: "I'm sorry", "I love you", "You're beautiful", "Of course you don't look fat in that outfit".

Men would be judged entirely by their looks, women by their accomplishments

Men would sit around and wonder what WE are thinking.

Men would pay as much attention to their woman as to their car.

All toilet seats would be nailed down.

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Men would work on relationships as much as they work on their careers.

TV news segments on sports would never run longer than 1 minute.

All men would be forced to spend one month in a PMS simulator

During mid-life crisis, men would get hot-flashes and women would date 19 year olds

Overweight men would have their weight brought to their attention constantly.

After a baby is born, men would take a six-week paternity leave to wait on their wives hand and foot.

For basic training, soldiers would have to take care of a two-year old for six weeks.

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Posted: Thu Nov 20, 2003 3:59 pm
by JCT777
...and thus women will NEVER rule the world. :lol:

Posted: Thu Nov 20, 2003 4:02 pm
by Lindaloo
Oh great pojo, it was better when it was red X's. All this did was give them ammo!! LOL Here we go.. :eek:

Posted: Thu Nov 20, 2003 4:23 pm
by mf_dolphin
As Paul Harvey would say... and now the rest of the story.

This has been a prime example of why women DON"T rule the world ;-)

Posted: Thu Nov 20, 2003 4:39 pm
by therock1811
mf_dolphin wrote:As Paul Harvey would say... and now the rest of the story.


Hey mf, I listen to him every morning at 6:25...did you hear this morning's broadcast??? It was about how HJ Heinz's history(the man as well as the ketchup company...

Posted: Thu Nov 20, 2003 4:43 pm
by mf_dolphin
I've listened to Paulo Harvey for 30+ years :-) Missed this morning though. :-(

Did you ever notice that the commode was designed originally without a seat? ;-) Why can't women put it up when they're done??? :-)

Posted: Thu Nov 20, 2003 4:45 pm
by therock1811
Yeah...I listen to it now every day... it is very enlightening...

Posted: Thu Nov 20, 2003 5:16 pm
by Lindaloo
Way to go pojo. LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted: Thu Nov 20, 2003 6:30 pm
by StormCrazyIowan
LMAO now THAT'S more like it!! :lol:

We have a Heinz plant, a biggun right in Muscatine, I think I want to go take a tour, I loooooooooooooooooooooooooove Ketchup!! Just ask my family! :roll: :lol:

Posted: Thu Nov 20, 2003 8:27 pm
by therock1811
mf_dolphin wrote:Did you ever notice that the commode was designed originally without a seat? ;-) Why can't women put it up when they're done??? :-)


I don't know...but then I don't normally use the commode as you do...more than you needed to know...

Posted: Thu Nov 20, 2003 8:36 pm
by Skywatch_NC
The only place that I know of that has BOTH bolted down toilet seats and lids is in the Biltmore Estate! :lol: My family and I toured the place one time and my Dad happened to briefly slightly open a lid (was obviously bolted down) but embarrassing when a Biltmore guide came around and said to my Dad "Please touch with the eyes and not the hands!" :eek: :lol: Anyway we all then continued our tour.

Just a vacation funny moment there! :wink:

Eric

Posted: Thu Nov 20, 2003 8:55 pm
by StormCrazyIowan
LMAO, that is funny!! I can just see my brother doing the same thing!

Re: Tis fixed....what if women ruled the world...

Posted: Fri Nov 21, 2003 12:37 pm
by stormraiser
Oh, then I qualify for sure. I take care of my 10, 8, 5 and 2 ear old every day. :P
pojo wrote:If women ruled the world ...

For basic training, soldiers would have to take care of a two-year old for six weeks.


Posted: Fri Nov 21, 2003 10:43 pm
by pojo
Dude, if basic training was taking care of a 2 year old for 6 weeks, I could handle that with ease! (I teach swimming lessons to ankle bitters!)

Posted: Fri Nov 21, 2003 10:48 pm
by coriolis
Nice thread Pojo. The battle rages on.

Posted: Fri Nov 21, 2003 10:50 pm
by pojo
the battle will rage on for centuries!