For the Men
Posted: Sun Apr 11, 2004 9:19 pm
Alright guys, the Men bashing has begain, so its time to show them up 
FOR MEN TIRED OF RECEIVING MALE-BASHING JOKES
Q. How many men does it take to open a beer?
A. None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.
Q. Why do women have smaller feet than men?
A. It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
Q. How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
A. When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me . . ."
Q. How do you fix a woman's watch?
A. You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
Q. What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A. A woman that won't do what she's told.
I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.
I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her.
Q. What do you call a woman who has lost 95% of her intelligence?
A. Divorced.
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%. It is called Wedding Cake.
Marriage is a 3 ring circus. Engagement Ring, Wedding Ring, Suffering.
Our last fight was my fault. My wife asked me, "What's on the TV?" And I said, "Mostly, dust!"
In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
Then God created Man and rested.
Then God created Woman.
Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
Q. Why do men die before their wives?
A. You have to be kidding me right?
FOR MEN TIRED OF RECEIVING MALE-BASHING JOKES
Q. How many men does it take to open a beer?
A. None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.
Q. Why do women have smaller feet than men?
A. It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
Q. How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
A. When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me . . ."
Q. How do you fix a woman's watch?
A. You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
Q. What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A. A woman that won't do what she's told.
I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.
I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her.
Q. What do you call a woman who has lost 95% of her intelligence?
A. Divorced.
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%. It is called Wedding Cake.
Marriage is a 3 ring circus. Engagement Ring, Wedding Ring, Suffering.
Our last fight was my fault. My wife asked me, "What's on the TV?" And I said, "Mostly, dust!"
In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
Then God created Man and rested.
Then God created Woman.
Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
Q. Why do men die before their wives?
A. You have to be kidding me right?
