STORM2K

> In Honor of Stupid People
> > In case you needed further proof that the human race
> > is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual
> > label instructions on consumer goods.
> >
> >
> >
> > On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping.
> > (Darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my
> > hair).
> >
> >
> >
> > On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No
> > purchase necessary. Details inside.
> > (the shoplifter special?)
> >
> >
> >
> > On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like
> > regular soap."
> > ( isn't this regular soap?)
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) --
> > "Do not turn upside down."
> > (well...duh, a bit late, huh!)
> >
> >
> >
> > On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be
> > hot after heating."
> > (...one would think.....)
> >
> >
> >
> > On packaging for a Rowenta iron -- "Do not iron
> > clothes on body."
> > (but wouldn't this save me more time ? )
> >
> > On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a
> > car or operate machinery after taking this
> > medication."
> > (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of accidents
> > if we could just get those 5-year-olds with
> > head-colds off the roads.)
> >
> >
> >
> > On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause
> > drowsiness."
> > ( uh, yeah, that's the idea!!!)
> >
> >
> >
> > On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or
> > outdoor use only."
> > (as opposed to...what)?
> >
> >
> >
> > On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for
> > the other use."
> > (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit
> > curious.)
> >
> >
> >
> > On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts."
> > (talk about a news flash)
> >
> >
> >
> > On an American Airlines packet of nuts --
> > "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
> > ( Gee, I had no idea........)
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this
> > garment does not enable you to fly."
> > (don't blame the company , blame the parents for
> > this one.)
> >
> >
> > On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop
> > chain with your hands or genitals."
> > (Oh my God...was there a lot of this happening
> > somewhere?)
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn
> > to spread the stupidity and send this to someone you
> > want to bring a smile to (maybe even chuckle).... in
> > other words send it to everyone. We all need to
> > smile every once in a while.

Wow.... just wow.....

Great stuff though

Chainsaw=radical vasectomy?

( Cringes ) Oh dear....ouch mf_dolphin

Ya know...the SAD part is, is that SOMEONE, somewhere, TRIED all of the above named, I mean, if not, WHY would they HAVE these warnings?

My favorite, I saw this a few months back when I had to change a broken fan belt on the Dodge:

"Warning, make sure the engine is NOT RUNNING when trying to install this belt, failure to do so will result in personnel injury!"

Another on a frozen pizza box:

"Do not eat frozen!"


Dennis

azsnowman wrote:
Another on a frozen pizza box:

"Do not eat frozen!"


Dennis

I could justify that warning. I have been known to eat the pepperoni's off before placing it into the oven.

I love these--there are many out there--apparently some are as a result of lame lawsuits.... I still wonder why they write the numbers in Brail underneath at drive-up ATMs---Roads would be much safer if they didnt issue licenses for blind people.

Midol Maximum Strength Gelcaps
Warning: Do not take this product, unless directed by a doctor if you have difficulty in urination due to enlargement of the prostate gland.

Blockbuster Rental DVD
Be kind - rewind.

Various Personal Computers
On startup: No keyboard detected. Press any key to continue.

McDonald's Coffee
Warning - Contents may be hot.

Moet White Star Champagne
Warning: Remove label before placing in microwave.

American Airlines Peanuts
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.

Sainsbury Peanuts
Warning: This product contains nuts.

Tesco's Tirimisu Desert
Do not turn upside down (Printed on the bottom of the box).

Bic Lighter Ignite lighter away from face.

Komatsu Floodlight This floodlight is capable of illuminating large areas, even in the dark

Unknown Fire Extinguishe Caution: Non-Flamable

Unknown Earplugs These ear plugs are nontoxic, but may interfere with breathing if caught in windpipe

Energizer AAA 4 Pack If swallowed, promptly see doctor.

Summerfield Suites - Near Door Parents! The door handle can be opened by small children

Unknown Mattress Warning: Do not attempt to swallow

Unknown Matches Caution: Contents may catch fire.

LMAO.. I love these.. these are too funny..

My personal favorite is on a soda can "Contents under pressure.. Handle with Care"

mf_dolphin wrote:Chainsaw=radical vasectomy?

YIKES!! Maybe the instructions on a chainsaw should say "Not for Bobbitt use"

OUCH is more like it

Here's a song for these people who need these instruction--song was written a few years ago....
Bill Engvall & Travis Tritt - Here's Your Sign
I just hate stupid people.
They should have to wear signs that just say I'm stupid.
That way you wouldn't rely on them, would you?
You wouldn't ask them anything. It would be like, "Excuse me...oops,
never mind"
"I didn't see your sign."

It's like before my wife and I moved from Texas to California our house
was full
of boxes and there was a u-Haul truck in our driveway.
My friend comes over and says, "Hey, You moving?"

"Nope."

"We just pack our stuff up once or twice a week. Just to see how many
boxes it takes."

"Here's your sign."

Why can't they get the picture? Why don't they understand?
We're not dealing with the planet of apes, we're talking about the
modern man.
So you people with them itsy bitsy teensie weensie tiny minds...
Here's your sign. Here's your sign.

A couple of months ago I went fishing with a buddy of mine, we pulled
his boat
into the dock, I lifted up this big 'ol stringer of bass this idiot on
the dock
goes, "Hey, yall catch all them fish?"

Nope.

"Talked 'em into giving up."

"Here's your sign."

I was out in the front yard with my boy the other day and he was
playing with his little friend, and he hit his friend and I went up to
him
and I said "Hey, (smacks his boy), we don't hit." He looked up at me
like, "Here's your sign, dad."

Why can't they get the picture? Why don't they understand?
We're not dealing with the planet of apes, we're talking about the
modern man.
So you people with them itsy bitsy teensie weensie tiny minds...
Here's your sign. Here's your sign.

I was watching one of those animal shows on the Discovery Channel, there
was a guy
inventing a shark bite suit. There's only one way to test that.
"Alright Jimmy, you got that shark suit on, it looks good... They want
you to jump
into this pool of sharks, and you tell us if it hurts when they bite
you."

"Well allright....hold my sign, I don't wanna loose it"

Why can't they get the picture? Why don't they understand?
We're not dealing with the planet of apes, we're talking about the
modern man.
So you people with them itsy bitsy teensie weensie tiny minds...
Here's your sign. Here's your sign.

Last time I was home I was driving around I had a flat tire, I pulled my
truck into one
of these side-of-the-road gas statioons, the attendant walks out, looks
at my truck,
looks at me, I swear to GOD he went, "Tire go flat?"

I couldn't resist.

I said "Nope".

"No I was driving around and those other three just swelled right up on
me."

"Here's your sign."

Why can't they get the picture? Why don't they understand?
We're not dealing with the planet of apes, we're talking about the
modern man.
So you people with them itsy bitsy teensie weensie tiny minds...
People with them little bitty teenie weenie tiny monds...
Here's your sign.

We were trying to sell our car about a year ago, a guy come over to the
house, drove the
car around for about 45 minutes. We get back to the house, he gets out
of the car, reaches down
and grabs the exhaust pipe, then goes, "Damn thats hot!"

See...

If he'd been wearing his sign, I could have stopped him.

LOL