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The Newest Medications for Women

Posted: Mon Apr 28, 2003 10:59 am
by bfez1
D A M I T O L
Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 hours.

St. M O M'S W O R T
Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers
unconscious for up to six hours.

E M P T Y N E S T R O G E N
Highly effective suppository that eliminates melancholy by enhancing the
memory of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till
they moved out.

P E P T O B I M B O
Liquid silicone for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening
out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and improves flirting.

D U M E R O L
When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low I.Q. causing enjoyment
of country western music.

F L I P I T O R
Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge
to flip off other drivers.

M E N I C I L L I N
Potent antiboyotic for older women. Increases resistance to such lines as,
"You make me want to be a better person ... can we get naked now?"

B U Y A G R A
Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping. increases potency and duration
of spending spree.

Extra Strength BUY-ONE-AL
When combined with Buyagra, can cause an indiscriminate buying frenzy so
severe the victim may even come home with a Donnie Osmond CD or a book by
Dr. Laura

J A C K A S S P I R I N
Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday,
anniversary or phone number.

A N T I-T A L K S I D E N T
A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share
their life stories with total strangers.

S E X C E D R I N
More effective than Excedrin in treating the, "Not now, dear, I have a
headache," syndrome.

R A G A M E T
When administered to a husband, provides the same irritation as ragging on
him all weekend, saving the wife the time and trouble of doing it herself

Posted: Mon Apr 28, 2003 11:25 am
by Amanzi
I hope you dont need an RX for any of these.. Im off to Eckerd :lol:

Posted: Mon Apr 28, 2003 11:29 am
by bfez1
:lol: :lol: :lol:

Posted: Mon Apr 28, 2003 12:00 pm
by deb_in_nc
My order: 1 year supply Damitol
2 year supply St. Mom's Wort
50 year supply Jackasspirin

Debbie

Posted: Mon Apr 28, 2003 12:03 pm
by Arizwx
I have also seen these pop up here on the Left Coast:
Both are 'Designer Drugs'

Ex-Tasssy
A combination of 2 narcotics,class III.Illegal in most States except Arizona and Nevada.The Drug combines a with the natural release of endorphins produced by the end of a chronic bad marrige that had acute symtoms of excellent 'Sex With The Ex'.
Note:Continued use or abuse can lead to co-dependency.Pharm note:Use Screw On-Screw Off Safety Caps.Keep Away From Children or Open Old Flame!

Bi-Codin also available as generic:"Hetero-Codone'5/500 7.5/500 or 10/350mg APAP"also known as 'Hor-Tab EX'in 7.5 mg ONLY
This is a legal prescription drug widely available for cheap over the internet by rogue Malaysian/Canadian/Mexican Pharmacies with approved Credit Cards.
The use of
'Bi-Codin'can release enough estrogen for 2 hours(6 hrs when combined with "Ex-Tassy" if he chooses to share.
The obvious effects of
'Bi-Codin"can be found at "Web MD Femme".
Same precautions apply as for
"Ex-Tassy"Discontinue use if RugRash appears.

Posted: Mon Apr 28, 2003 12:15 pm
by streetsoldier
...and then there's "PUSSY-WIP"; not only a soothingly refreshing external spermicide, but works great on strawberry shortcake, too!

Posted: Mon Apr 28, 2003 12:22 pm
by Arizwx
streetsoldier wrote:...and then there's "PUSSY-WIP"; not only a soothingly refreshing external spermicide, but works great on strawberry shortcake, too!


Hey Bill,
We're 'Swapping' Threads Like Expensive Bed Linens:
400 Thread Count Shi'ites & Towelheads From Baghdad Bed 'N Ba'ath

Posted: Mon Apr 28, 2003 12:37 pm
by streetsoldier
And for a woman's personal defense needs, there's nothing else on the market like an "Automat Kutchakokoff", endorsed by Loreena Bobbitt and the NOW gang, in better stores everywhere!

Posted: Mon Apr 28, 2003 12:41 pm
by Guest
I would buy one and use it too.

Posted: Mon Apr 28, 2003 12:45 pm
by Arizwx
streetsoldier wrote:And for a woman's personal defense Ads, there's nothing else on the market like an "Automat Kutchakokoff", endorsed by Loreena Bobbitt and the NOW gang, in better stores everywhere!


I hear it is also available over the Internet known as
the 'OJ Simpson Signature Series'

Also available For Men:



"At-Ease" also in generic "Viagra Falls"
This counteracts the effects of the Spray Starched Topically Apllied
"Niagra" in Generic Over-The-Counter Form as a Supplement to "Bi-Agra"
"At-Ease"(Copyright)counteracts the long term and very painful effects of '
"Niagra" with overextended use while going for the World Record in a Barrel.*Use ONLY on the Canadian Side as directed,EH?!*

Posted: Mon Apr 28, 2003 2:16 pm
by streetsoldier
Now, one for the ladies whose significant-other has a "problem"...

Ladies, is your husband or boyfriend nailed to the "CROSS OF IMPOTENCE"? When he comes home, does he pay more attention to the "boob tube" than your boobs? :o

Get medically tested..."REZ-ERECTION"! Just slip a tablespoon full in his coffee or favorite drink, and in just THREE DAYS, he'll be all over you like a rash on a baby's botttom! Satisfaction guaranteed, or your money back! :D

Remember, ladies, "REZ-ERECTION...On the THIRD DAY, He will Rise Again!" :wink:

Posted: Mon Apr 28, 2003 2:21 pm
by Skywatch_NC
:roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll:

Posted: Mon Apr 28, 2003 2:34 pm
by mf_dolphin
ROFLMAO....we may have to censor a couple of those LOL

Posted: Mon Apr 28, 2003 2:35 pm
by chadtm80
LMAO bfez... hahahahahhaha

Posted: Mon Apr 28, 2003 2:36 pm
by Guest
Hmmmmmmm I agree MF.
Patricia