New Words for the Workplace
Posted: Fri Dec 03, 2004 3:00 pm
New Words for the Workplace
BLAMESTORMING: Sitting around in a group, discussing why a
deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.
SEAGULL MANAGER: A manager, who flies in, makes a lot of noise,
craps on everything, and then leaves.
ASSMOSIS: The process by which some people seem to absorb
success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.
SALMON DAY: The experience of spending an entire day swimming
upstream only to get screwed and die in the end.
CUBE FARM: An office filled with cubicles.
PRAIRIE DOGGING: When someone yells or drops something loudly in
a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on.
MOUSE POTATO: The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch potato.
SITCOMS: Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage.
What yuppies turn into when they have children
and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids.
STRESS PUPPY: A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiney.
SWIPEOUT: An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless
because the magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.
IRRITAINMENT: Entertainment and media spectacles that are
annoying but you find yourself unable to stop watching them.
The O.J. trials were a prime example.
PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE: The fine art of whacking the crap out of
an electronic device to get it to work again.
OHNOSECOND: That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize
that you've just made a BIG mistake
CROP DUSTING: Surreptitiously farting while passing thru a cube farm
and then enjoying the sounds of dismay and disgust.
BLAMESTORMING: Sitting around in a group, discussing why a
deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.
SEAGULL MANAGER: A manager, who flies in, makes a lot of noise,
craps on everything, and then leaves.
ASSMOSIS: The process by which some people seem to absorb
success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.
SALMON DAY: The experience of spending an entire day swimming
upstream only to get screwed and die in the end.
CUBE FARM: An office filled with cubicles.
PRAIRIE DOGGING: When someone yells or drops something loudly in
a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on.
MOUSE POTATO: The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch potato.
SITCOMS: Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage.
What yuppies turn into when they have children
and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids.
STRESS PUPPY: A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiney.
SWIPEOUT: An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless
because the magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.
IRRITAINMENT: Entertainment and media spectacles that are
annoying but you find yourself unable to stop watching them.
The O.J. trials were a prime example.
PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE: The fine art of whacking the crap out of
an electronic device to get it to work again.
OHNOSECOND: That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize
that you've just made a BIG mistake
CROP DUSTING: Surreptitiously farting while passing thru a cube farm
and then enjoying the sounds of dismay and disgust.
...but it shows a couple on vacation and there's a prairie dog nearby...and at the end of the ad a man and a couple of women rise up in their cubicles and you see their heads! 
