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It's a lose lose situation guys....

Posted: Fri Dec 10, 2004 8:58 am
by mf_dolphin
Question: Can men ever win?
If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race, you're a male chauvinist.

If you stay home and do the housework, you're a pansy.

If you work too hard, there is never any time for her.

If you don't work enough, you're a good-for-nothing bum.

If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay, this is exploitation.

If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay, you should get off your ass and find something better.

If you get a promotion ahead of her, that is favoritism.

If she gets a job ahead of you, it's equal opportunity.

If you mention how nice she looks, it's sexual harassment.

If you keep quiet, it's male indifference.

If you cry, you're a wimp.

If you don't, you're an insensitive bastard.

If you thump her, it's wife bashing.

If she thumps you, it's self defense.

If you make a decision without consulting her, you're a chauvinist.

If she makes a decision without consulting you, she's a liberated woman.

If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy, that's domination.

If she asks you, it's a favor.

If you appreciate the female form and frilly underwear, you're a pervert.


If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep in shape, you're sexist.

If you don't, you're unromantic.

If you try to keep yourself in shape, you're vain.

If you don't, you're a slob.

If you buy her flowers, you're after something.

If you don't, you're not thoughtful.

If you're proud of your achievements, you're up on yourself.

If you don't, you're not ambitious.

If she has a headache, she's tired.

If you have a headache, you don't love her anymore.

If you want it too often, you're oversexed.

If you don't, there must be someone else.

Re: It's a lose lose situation guys....

Posted: Fri Dec 10, 2004 9:25 am
by JenBayles
mf_dolphin wrote:Question: Can men ever win?


No.

If a man talks in the woods and no one hears him, he's still wrong....

:jump:

Re: It's a lose lose situation guys....

Posted: Fri Dec 10, 2004 9:33 am
by vbhoutex
JenBayles wrote:
mf_dolphin wrote:Question: Can men ever win?


No.

If a man talks in the woods and no one hears him, he's still wrong....

:jump:


THWAPP!!! THWAPP!!!! :yesno: :yesno:
I guess you'll just have to call me an insensitive bastard!!!

Re: It's a lose lose situation guys....

Posted: Fri Dec 10, 2004 9:36 am
by Brent
JenBayles wrote:
mf_dolphin wrote:Question: Can men ever win?


No.

If a woman talks in the woods and no one hears her, she's still wrong....



:P

Re: It's a lose lose situation guys....

Posted: Fri Dec 10, 2004 10:13 am
by JenBayles
vbhoutex wrote:
JenBayles wrote:
mf_dolphin wrote:Question: Can men ever win?


No.

If a man talks in the woods and no one hears him, he's still wrong....

:jump:


THWAPP!!! THWAPP!!!! :yesno: :yesno:
I guess you'll just have to call me an insensitive bastard!!!


MADE YA LOOK!
:woo: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Posted: Fri Dec 10, 2004 12:05 pm
by pojo
How women deal with men.....


Step 1: When you first meet a man :wanna: :ggreen:

Step 2: Hopefully this doesn't happen in bed :boared:

Step 3: After a lady realizes that all men want are food, sex and beer. :roll:

Step 4: Your first argument (when a guy doesn't want to compromise) :yesno:

Step 5: If men are being imaginably ruthless... give this a try. :Can:

Step 6: If that doesn't work... try this... (as a guy continues to be really annoying) :Door:

Step 7: Now if you bust them red handed with another woman...give this a try. (try to put as much powder around him as possible) :blowup:

Posted: Fri Dec 10, 2004 12:43 pm
by Lindaloo
:fools:

Posted: Fri Dec 10, 2004 12:51 pm
by pojo
Alex, how about Male/Female Relationships for 500 please. :D

Posted: Fri Dec 10, 2004 1:55 pm
by streetsoldier
...they only call it "PMS" because "Mad Cow Disease" was already taken. :lol:

*ducks all the stiletto heels being thrown at me*

Posted: Fri Dec 10, 2004 2:01 pm
by sunny
streetsoldier wrote:...they only call it "PMS" because "Mad Cow Disease" was already taken. :lol:

*ducks all the stiletto heels being thrown at me*


DUCK - heck, we kick with the stiletto heels, too!!

Posted: Fri Dec 10, 2004 9:22 pm
by JenBayles
streetsoldier wrote:...they only call it "PMS" because "Mad Cow Disease" was already taken. :lol:

*ducks all the stiletto heels being thrown at me*


<scratches head> Hmmmmmm.... I always thought PMS was Puttin' up with Men's Sh*t?!

Posted: Mon Dec 13, 2004 12:17 pm
by pojo
JenBayles wrote:
streetsoldier wrote:...they only call it "PMS" because "Mad Cow Disease" was already taken. :lol:

*ducks all the stiletto heels being thrown at me*


<scratches head> Hmmmmmm.... I always thought PMS was Puttin' up with Men's Sh*t?!


Jen... that IS what PMS means! Why else do we seem cranky during those weeks... we actually have a reason to get pissed off!

Posted: Mon Dec 13, 2004 12:19 pm
by vbhoutex
pojo wrote:
JenBayles wrote:
streetsoldier wrote:...they only call it "PMS" because "Mad Cow Disease" was already taken. :lol:

*ducks all the stiletto heels being thrown at me*


<scratches head> Hmmmmmm.... I always thought PMS was Puttin' up with Men's Sh*t?!


Jen... that IS what PMS means! Why else do we seem cranky during those weeks... we actually have a reason to get pissed off!


And we don't?

Posted: Mon Dec 13, 2004 1:15 pm
by sunny
HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN:

Compliment her,
cuddle her,
kiss her,
caress her,
love her,
stroke her,
tease her,
comfort her,
protect her,
hug her,
hold her,
spend money on her,
wine & dine her,
buy things for her,
listen to her,
care for her,
stand by her,
support her,
go to the ends of the earth for her....


HOW TO IMPRESS A MAN:

Show up naked,
Bring beer....

Posted: Mon Dec 13, 2004 1:47 pm
by pojo
sunny wrote:HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN:

Compliment her,
cuddle her,
kiss her,
caress her,
love her,
stroke her,
tease her,
comfort her,
protect her,
hug her,
hold her,
spend money on her,
wine & dine her,
buy things for her,
listen to her,
care for her,
stand by her,
support her,
go to the ends of the earth for her....


HOW TO IMPRESS A MAN:

Show up naked,
Bring beer....


don't forget the remote control.

Posted: Mon Dec 13, 2004 1:48 pm
by sunny
lol pojo - you KNOW they can't live without that remote!!

Posted: Mon Dec 13, 2004 3:25 pm
by mf_dolphin
The remote is just a part of us that was missing at birth! :-)

Posted: Mon Dec 13, 2004 3:26 pm
by sunny
That clears up THAT mystery!!

Posted: Mon Dec 13, 2004 3:30 pm
by JenBayles
mf_dolphin wrote:The remote is just a part of us that was missing at birth! :-)


Wasn't that supposed to be a RIB?
:think:

Posted: Mon Dec 13, 2004 3:47 pm
by streetsoldier
"Wasn't that supposed to be a RIB?"

Naw, we expect those to be brought to us with the beers. :larrow: