STORM2K

I looked over to my
left and there was a







woman







in a brand new







Cadillac







doing 65 mph







with her
face up next to her







rear view mirror







putting on her eyeliner.








I looked away







for a couple seconds







and when I looked back she was








halfway over in my lane,







still working on that makeup.








As a man,







I don't scare easily.







But she scared me so much;







I dropped
my electric shaver,







which knocked







the donut







out of my other hand.







In all
the confusion of trying







to straighten out the car







using my knees against
the steering wheel,







it knocked







my cell phone







away from my ear







which fell








into the coffee







between my legs,







splashed,







and burned







Big Jim and the Twins,







ruined the damn phone,







soaked my trousers,







and disconnected an
important call.






Damn women drivers

I'm so careful behind the wheel (observing speed limits, NOT running amber lights, etc.) that Debi calls me "Grandpa Grapenuts"...while she, with a history of occasional "15-20 mph-over" citations, has earned the nick "Princess Leadfoot".

I kinda like that one - "Princess Leadfoot"!!!