Go on...laugh a little!
Posted: Thu Jun 02, 2005 11:21 am
Here are some corny jokes, but hey they made my day a bit brighter so I thought I would share them with you guys. 
FLYING HIGH
Two eagles are flying at high altitude when a jet plane suddenly passes them "Gosh, can that thing go!" one says. "You would too if your backside was on fire!" the other says.
DRINK AND DRIVE
"My wife drives me to drink," John says to his friend. "You're lucky" the friends says "I have to walk to the pub".
VEHICLE THEFT
A flea rushes out of the front door, takes a huge leap and falls flat on it's face. "Damn it" he shouts. "Someone stole my cat".
SNAIL'S PACE
Two snails sit under an apple tree. "Lets's eat that apple" says one. "Dont be silly- it isn't ripe yet," the other says. "It will be by the time we get there".
DEAD GIVEAWAY
"Do you believe in the after life?" the boss asks an employee. "Yes, sir" "well that explains everyting....after you left yesterday to go to your grandmother's funeral.... she stopped in to see you."
CLEVER DEDUCTIONS
The owner of a small deli is being questioned by the IRS about his tax return. He's reported a profit of $80 000. "Why dont you believe me?" The deli owner asks. "I work like a dog, everyone in my family helps out, the place is only closed 1 day of the year. And you want to know how I made $80 000? "It's not your income," the official says. "It's those business deductions. You listed trips to Mexico and France for you and your wife." "oh that," the owner says.... "I forgot to tell you we also deliver."
FLYING HIGH
Two eagles are flying at high altitude when a jet plane suddenly passes them "Gosh, can that thing go!" one says. "You would too if your backside was on fire!" the other says.
DRINK AND DRIVE
"My wife drives me to drink," John says to his friend. "You're lucky" the friends says "I have to walk to the pub".
VEHICLE THEFT
A flea rushes out of the front door, takes a huge leap and falls flat on it's face. "Damn it" he shouts. "Someone stole my cat".
SNAIL'S PACE
Two snails sit under an apple tree. "Lets's eat that apple" says one. "Dont be silly- it isn't ripe yet," the other says. "It will be by the time we get there".
DEAD GIVEAWAY
"Do you believe in the after life?" the boss asks an employee. "Yes, sir" "well that explains everyting....after you left yesterday to go to your grandmother's funeral.... she stopped in to see you."
CLEVER DEDUCTIONS
The owner of a small deli is being questioned by the IRS about his tax return. He's reported a profit of $80 000. "Why dont you believe me?" The deli owner asks. "I work like a dog, everyone in my family helps out, the place is only closed 1 day of the year. And you want to know how I made $80 000? "It's not your income," the official says. "It's those business deductions. You listed trips to Mexico and France for you and your wife." "oh that," the owner says.... "I forgot to tell you we also deliver."
