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MAJOR RED FLAGS raised regarding my "date" tomorro
Posted: Thu Jun 09, 2005 5:05 pm
by Josephine96
All courtesy of a thing I like to call the rumor mill lol..
I normally try not to listen to rumors.. but when they speak loud.. I listen.. especially in a store that has well over 600 employees lol..
I was having a great day.. Bragging about me and Teresa's lunch date tomorrow.. when all of a sudden.. I felt like I was punched dead in the heart.. The rumors I hadn't heard had begun..
While the rumors I hear of her being single.. continue to outnumber the others.. Another cashier told me today that "She's married.. ya didn't know..".. But I continue to insist.. I have never seen her wear a ring.. plus in my opinion.. I don't believe she would have said yes to lunch if she were happily married..
These rumors are the 1's that have me nervous lol.. Because I don't wanna believe them.. But as much as I hate to do it.. I am going to flat out ask her tomorrow.. whether or not she is happily taken.. I hadn't planned on asking that on our 1st "date" but because these rumors are speaking very loudly.. I may have too.. lol..
I am so confused.. I don't know who or what to believe.. Some say I should even just "go with the flow" and then just tell her at the end that I had a good time and would be interested in a 2nd next week and see what she says..
I need HELP.. lol.. Please feel free to comfort me with wisdom or information.. Everyone keeps saying she would have never said Yes if she wasn't single.. and that "the 2 of us would be so cute together" lol..
Ok.. I think my freak attack is over now {calms nerves}
Posted: Thu Jun 09, 2005 5:18 pm
by Skywatch_NC
I wouldn't think Teresa/Theresa would intentionally deceive you, Bro
((((HUG))))
Eric
Posted: Thu Jun 09, 2005 5:37 pm
by rainstorm
a lunch date can be completely innocent. so what if she is married. did she take it as a friendly lunch, or a romantic date?
dont ask her if she is married. she will tell you if she wants you to know. just have fun. hehe
Posted: Thu Jun 09, 2005 5:38 pm
by vbhoutex
rainstorm wrote:a lunch date can be completely innocent. so what if she is married. did she take it as a friendly lunch, or a romantic date?
dont ask her if she is married. she will tell you if she wants you to know. just have fun. hehe
I agree.
Posted: Thu Jun 09, 2005 5:52 pm
by drudd1
Good Lord man, take a deep breath and relax. Rumors are just that, rumors, most far from accurate. Chill out, go out to lunch, and have a good time. By the way, ya might want to ease off on bragging at work about dating a co-worker.
I hope you have a great time, but you won't if you don't relax a bit

Posted: Thu Jun 09, 2005 5:58 pm
by StormChasr
By the way, ya might want to ease off on bragging at work about dating a co-worker.
Definitely. The old saying about: "Don't S%$T where you eat" always made good sense to me.
Posted: Thu Jun 09, 2005 6:09 pm
by Josephine96
LOL.. I never have said that her and I "were dating" lol.. I just simply have stated that her and I have a lunch date on Friday.. that's it.. It hasn't gone much further than that lol..
Everybody in the store though continues to ask me if I like her and all those other questions lol..
Posted: Thu Jun 09, 2005 6:10 pm
by Josephine96
besides.. how would I entirely know the difference between if she took it as a "romantic" date.. or a regular "lunch date" between 2 friends lol..
With all the gossip, it's hard to tell lol..
Posted: Thu Jun 09, 2005 6:28 pm
by Guest
John, AFTER I found out my FORMER friend Emily had a boyfriend, we STILL did a lunch date, so do what I do: don't get those hopes up high! But also, enjoy your date!
Posted: Thu Jun 09, 2005 7:21 pm
by alicia-w
relax, breathe, be a gentleman, and dont kiss & tell.
Posted: Thu Jun 09, 2005 7:22 pm
by Josephine96
I am telling myself tonight and I'll probably say it all day tomorrow lol..
"If she's taken.. I know it'll hurt for maybe a day or 2.. {because I really like her}.. but then I bounce back up and forget it".. or something along those lines lol
I do kinda hope she's single though.. The rumors I keep hearing drive me nuts lol
Posted: Thu Jun 09, 2005 7:23 pm
by Josephine96
Sounds like a plan Alicia..
What exactly do you mean by don't kiss and tell lol.. I think I have an idea.. {I know it doesn't literally mean what the sentence states lol} but.. please elaborate
Posted: Thu Jun 09, 2005 7:27 pm
by streetsoldier
Josephine96 wrote:Sounds like a plan Alicia..
What exactly do you mean by don't kiss and tell lol.. I think I have an idea.. {I know it doesn't literally mean what the sentence states lol} but.. please elaborate
Treat this dinner date like "Las Vegas; What's done here, stays here!" In short, it's none of their beeswax, and what comes out of it...comes out of it.
Posted: Thu Jun 09, 2005 7:27 pm
by Cookiely
Sorry to be a party pooper but you definitely need to ask right off the bat if she's married. In this day and age and everything you read in the news, please be careful. You read all the time where some boyfriend is assaulted by a jealous or possessive husband. At least you need to know if she is single, separated or happily married. I will hope she's happily single for your sake and that you have a great time.
Posted: Thu Jun 09, 2005 7:30 pm
by Guest
Cookiely wrote:Sorry to be a party pooper but you definitely need to ask right off the bat if she's married. In this day and age and everything you read in the news, please be careful. You read all the time where some boyfriend is assaulted by a jealous or possessive husband. At least you need to know if she is single, separated or happily married. I will hope she's happily single for your sake and that you have a great time.
I agree with Cookiely. I know, I am here, and it sounds easy to just ask the question, but be brave.

(I had to eek it out of Emily by wondering why she was avoiding calling/e-mailing me, and she let the truth out.)
I think it would show some responsibility by asking her during the lunch "date".
Posted: Thu Jun 09, 2005 7:36 pm
by Josephine96
I really didn't want to ask on the 1st date.. But I have to agree.. it sounds like I'd better..
The rumors have me wondering..
1 of the girls even spiced it up a little and says.. I should ask like.. "Theresa,I have been hearing a lot of rumors the last few days, I would like to ask ya something.. I would like to know whether you're seeing anybody" and if she's not.. don't be afraid to tell her how I feel about her..
Posted: Thu Jun 09, 2005 7:39 pm
by Guest
Josephine96 wrote:
1 of the girls even spiced it up a little and says.. I should ask like.. "Theresa,I have been hearing a lot of rumors the last few days, I would like to ask ya something.. I would like to know whether you're seeing anybody" and if she's not.. don't be afraid to tell her how I feel about her..
That girl gave you some good advice -- go slowly. HOWEVER, do
NOT start right off the bat with "Now, Theresa, before we enjoy dinner together, I have something to tell you." Kind of place somewhat in the middle of the "date".

Posted: Thu Jun 09, 2005 7:51 pm
by Windsong
StormChasr wrote:By the way, ya might want to ease off on bragging at work about dating a co-worker.
Definitely. The old saying about: "Don't S%$T where you eat" always made good sense to me.
You sound like my kind of guy StormChasr!
Yep. This is good advice John. It's one of those live n' learn things. I also agree that you should find out if she is married or otherwise committed before you get too involved. Hate to see you get hurt. Do your best to NOT feed that rumor mill either. People have a sad, twisted little way of using what they know about you to hurt you. Never give them bullets!
God bless and have a great time,
Windsong
Posted: Thu Jun 09, 2005 7:54 pm
by Josephine96
I wouldn't ask right off the bat.. I'd make sure we were into conversation lol..
How would I be feeding the rumor mill anyway..? I don't know lol
Posted: Thu Jun 09, 2005 8:14 pm
by GalvestonDuck
Believe me, the ring doesn't mean squat in this day and age. A person can be married, but choose not to wear the ring because they are separated from their spouse or, worse, cheating. Don't get romantically involved with someone who is married, even if it's on the rocks. I'm seeing it right now with a friend's friend. Her hubby went to FL for Charley and stayed through all four storms and a lot of rebuilding. He came back home shortly before Christmas. During that l-o-n-g absence, he met someone else. She found out and so now she's on the rebound and dating someone new too. Personally, I don't approve, but hey, it's her business. However, I think she's hurting herself if their divorce gets messy. Originally, he was at fault...still is to a point. However, now he has her infidelity to hold over her head as well. Honestly, I don't know a lot about divorces, but don't the judges make a lot of decisions about who gets what based one who DID what?
I'm just saying, IF she is married, keep it friendly for her sake until you know more and understand what she is looking for in her relationship with you.
Be a friend...for now. Listen. Learn. And if something more can come of the relationship, take it slow and keep it out of work. There's another saying related to workplace relationships -- "Don't dip your pen in company ink." I think it's possible in some circumstances. Just be careful or prepare for the consequences.