Senior Moments
Posted: Wed Jun 11, 2003 4:50 pm
Subject: Senior Moments
SENIOR DRIVING
As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang.
Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Herman, I just heard
on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on Interstate 77. Please be
careful!"
"Hell," said Herman, "It's not just one car. It's hundreds of them!"
_________________________________________________________________ _____
"I CAN HEAR JUST FINE!"
Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were playing golf one fine March
day. One remarked to the other, "Windy, isn't it?"
"No," the second man replied, "it's Thursday."
And the third man chimed in, "So am I. Let's have a beer."
_____________________________________________________________ __________
SENIOR MOMENTS II
Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years they had
shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had
been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards. One day they were
playing cards when one looked at the other and said, "Now don't get mad at
me.....I know we've been friends for a long time.....but I just can't think of
your
name! I've thought
and thought, but I can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is." Her
friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just stared and glared at
her. Finally she said, "How soon do you need to know?"
_____________________________________________________________ __________
A little old lady was running up and down the halls in a nursing home. As she
walked, she would flip up the hem of her nightgown and say "Supersex." She
walked up to an elderly man in a wheelchair. Flipping her gown at him, she
said, "Supersex."
He sat silently for a moment or two and finally answered, "I'll take the
soup."
SENIOR DRIVING
As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang.
Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Herman, I just heard
on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on Interstate 77. Please be
careful!"
"Hell," said Herman, "It's not just one car. It's hundreds of them!"
_________________________________________________________________ _____
"I CAN HEAR JUST FINE!"
Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were playing golf one fine March
day. One remarked to the other, "Windy, isn't it?"
"No," the second man replied, "it's Thursday."
And the third man chimed in, "So am I. Let's have a beer."
_____________________________________________________________ __________
SENIOR MOMENTS II
Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years they had
shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had
been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards. One day they were
playing cards when one looked at the other and said, "Now don't get mad at
me.....I know we've been friends for a long time.....but I just can't think of
your
name! I've thought
and thought, but I can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is." Her
friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just stared and glared at
her. Finally she said, "How soon do you need to know?"
_____________________________________________________________ __________
A little old lady was running up and down the halls in a nursing home. As she
walked, she would flip up the hem of her nightgown and say "Supersex." She
walked up to an elderly man in a wheelchair. Flipping her gown at him, she
said, "Supersex."
He sat silently for a moment or two and finally answered, "I'll take the
soup."
