Woman's Language Translated

[pojo]

Here you go ladies... (and guys, if your daring)

Women's Language Translated

Yes = No
No = Yes
Maybe = No
I'm sorry. = You'll be sorry.
We need... = I want
Nothing = Everything
I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!
You're so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot.
You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?
Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs.
This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house.
I want new curtains = ...and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper.....
Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there!
I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep.
Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive.
How much do you love me? = I did something today you're really not going to like.
I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV.
Am I fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful.
You have to learn to communicate. = Just agree with me.
Are you listening to me!? = Too late, you're dead.
Was that the baby? = Why don't you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep.
I'm not yelling! = Yes I am yelling because I think this is important.
In response to What's wrong?:
The same old thing = Nothing
Nothing, really = It's just that you're such an idiot!

[mf_dolphin]

ROFLMBO! I recognize those any day! One day I'm going to write a book on the 100 meanings of a woman saying yes. They run the gamut from "yes" to "If you do I'll rip your heart out"!