STORM2K

Some familiar, some new, all thought-provoking!

Words of Wisdom


I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But
I was not pleased to read the description in the catalog: "No good
in a bed, but fine against a wall."
- Eleanor Roosevelt


Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever
seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to
withdraw that statement.
- Mark Twain


The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a
good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible.
- George Burns


Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year.
- Victor Borge


Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
- Mark Twain


What would men be without women? Scarce, sir...mighty scarce.
- Mark Twain


Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself,
"Lillian, you should have remained a virgin."
- Lillian Carter (mother of 64th President, Jimmy Carter)


By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll
become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
- Socrates


I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
- Groucho Marx


My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now
and then she stops to breathe.
- Jimmy Durante


The male is a domestic animal which, if treated with
firmness and kindness, can be trained to do most things.
- Jilly Cooper


I have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor


Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four
essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat.
- Alex Levine


Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The
world owes you nothing. It was here first.
- Mark Twain


My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people
would stop dying.
- Ed Furgol


Money can't buy you happiness... but it does bring you a
more pleasant form of misery.
- Spike Milligan


What's the use of happiness? It can't buy you money.
- Henny Youngman


I am opposed to millionaires... but it would be
dangerous to offer me the position.
- Mark Twain


Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was shut up.
- Joe Namath


Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life.
- Herbert Henry Asquith


I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon. Then
it's time for my nap.
- Bob Hope


I never drink water because of the disgusting things that
fish do in it.
- WC Fields


We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had
to work its way through Congress.
- Will Rogers


Don't worry about avoiding temptation... as you grow
older, it will avoid you.
- Winston Churchill


Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty. but
everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.
- Phyllis Diller


The cardiologist's diet: If it tastes good, spit it out.
- Unknown


By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's
too old to go anywhere.
- Billy Crystal

I like those. My 2 favorites

~Don't worry about avoiding temptation... as you grow
older, it will avoid you.
- Winston Churchill

~By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll
become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
- Socrates

Ahhh, Socrates!!!


Good ones!