STORM2K

Never thought I'd have such a horrible story to tell after just two months of working at an inpatient unit as opposed to all the tales I could tell after working in the ER. But this beats all.

Gonna try to be brief because I need to get to work in an hour and won't be home until late tonight.

Wednesday, we had a patient admitted to the floor. His son (somewhere in his 40's or 50's) continued to wander around the floor, looking in patient rooms, shadowing the nurse, etc. We finally got him settled down and staying in the room with his mom and dad, but then he kept calling out, requesting to see the nurse, the doctor, medicines for his father, etc. No problem...just needed to ask him to be patient while the pharmacy sent the meds and the docs wrote orders. Then he asked for his father to be moved to a larger room. A few hours later, after another discharge -- wish granted.

Thursday, for most of the day, they were settled in. Tests went regularly, rounds went regulary, everything went smooth, patient was comfortable, family was comfortable. The son even went home to get a shower and change clothes.

Thursday night, something changed. He threatened the night staff with a gun that he brought to the unit. Three security guards were called, the gun was confiscated, and he was taken to the ER for observation. For some reason that I can't fathom, he was released.

Friday, he visited his father on the unit. For the most part, he stayed with his father and was very quiet. I saw him once towards the end of the shift. I turned around a corner just as he was walking down the hall. I barely got to acknowledge his "Hey" and I never even made eye contact with him. He was looking down and, from what I saw in my peripheral vision, he barely glanced up. I, on the other hand, was on a mission down the hall and hardly got a chance to look at him since he was passing just as I turned the corner. I remember knowing it was him, saying "Hello," and continuing rapidly down the hall. I never turned and really looked at him. For that, I feel terrible. I don't know if I could have changed anything or noticed anything. I don't know if he was on his way home at that time or if he was just walking around and still visiting with his father or what. Hindsight is 20/20 vision and all that jazz....

Yesterday, I received a call from the Harris Co. ME investigator. The son was found in their garage with a shotgun blast to the head. We called the chaplain to come up and talk with the mother. The father hasn't been told yet.

A lot of us were pretty shocked by it all...in addition to the thought of what *could* have happened. You hear a lot about rage killings where people go in and shoot several people before taking their own lives. This could have been one of those times.

I'm praying that the mother can find some peace in this time. She was so distraught, saying "I don't know how I can go on...first (husband's name), now this."

That is terrible, Duckie! My prayers are with his Mother and Father.

You just never know about people. He was probably released because under those circumstances people that are going to actually committ suicide can hide things well when they are questioned. There is absolutely nothing you or anyone else could have done about it.

Oh Duckie. This is just terrible. But Linda is right, it sounds like there was nothing anyone could have said or done to prevent this. Everyone did what they could. It is just so sad. My prayers are with his family.

Shawn....you did a wonderful job of capsulizing the events of several days.

While I am at great distance from you and the family and the son, I am very familiar with the symptoms of paranoia, bi-polar, and even schizophrenia. I suspect strongly that the son was challenged with one or more of these issues and perhaps, at a time of great fear and emotion in his mind, when his father was ill in a hospital, he was not able to cope.

Your message is one of anger and sadness and disappointment and even of guilt...and yet we cannot save some people from themselves.

In a period of just a very few hours in the lives of a family you never previously knew, you witnessed a tragedy that plays out over and over in the lives of some.

Your compassionate heart is heavy, I know. The weight of all that transpired is heavy for anyone who cares as you do.

But if there is a ray of sunshine, it is in the reality that the son did not vent his anger and confusion and frustration on the nurses or hospital staff or even his own family in your presence. He dealt with it alone.

A prayer for you this morning, Shawn, in that you know the importance of love and support and friendship and compassion....and how sad it is when we see a family; a person struggle with those issues in a way that sees no other way out.

God bless you and your staff for the work that you do, and may He look after the family as they recover and move on in ways that they must.

Steve

That is terrible. Prayers sent for the mother and father and the staff that are working with the parents.

Duckie, I can only echo what Steve said. YOu did everything you could. Know that prayers for the family and you and the staff are being sent down from Houston.

Such elequent words you have offered our friend Azskyman. Your insight soothes us all.

Duck...so sorry for your pain. Your compassion is often demonstrated on these pages, and how it must hurt you now. I'm sure nothing you could have done would have changed the outcome.

Sending good vibes to all involved.....p

Dear Lord!

I can't imagine what all hospital workers deal with on a daily basis and then still have the emotional strength to go in the next day and do it all over again.

As EVERYONE has said, there was NOTHING that you could've done to save him from himself. Noone will know why he did that and I do hope that his mother AND father are able to somehow recover from this tragedy.

That spooked me just reading it.

Thanks, everybuddy and especially Steve. I was worried that my brevity might leave my post sounding cold. I'm glad that didn't happen.

I'm going to the hospital in a little bit to talk with the nurse manager about the events of the weekend and find out if they might consider CPI (crisis prevention and intevention) training for some, if not all, of the staff. It was required for us in the ER. Not to mention the fact that a lot of us have stuff that we need to talk out. The charge nurse from Saturday called in for Sunday. He said it was the worst day he'd ever experienced also.

I slept long and hard last night (needed it). But now I need to get going and take care of stuff before I can attempt to enjoy a bit of my day off. More later---

Yes, like azskyman said thank God he didn't start shooting people in the hospital and that nobody there was hurt or killed. He may have been suicidal for years and something made him snap that day. I'm sorry to hear about that but am thankful that you are still here to write about it Duck. I too will say prayers for you and the family of this poor soul.

Duckie, I know that you feel that "I could have done
something": you were doing everything that you could
possibly do, given your situation. Sometimes, there is
no way to change the thinking of a person who feels
that life has left them, and, they do whatever action
possesses them. Sadly, he was a victim of himself.
You cannot change that. Some people just resolve
themselves to that. You keep your Spirit up!

~Annette~

Hope this note finds things better for you...and for the family struggling with so many issues.

Still thinking of you, you know.

Steve