STORM2K

Ok Parents.. Here I am again asking advice. My son is 3 and a half now, and pee pee on the potty is no problem.. Now poopie? That is a different story. He just wont do it. I have tried all kinds of things and nothing is working. Why was pee pee so easy, but poo poo so hard? lol.. Anyways.. Any advice? My son is 3 and a half and should be fully pottie trained by now.

Hi Chad,

I remember when my cousin was Dustin's age and she and her mother lived with my folks, sister and I for awhile. The cousin was in her potty training years and her Mom used the incentive of a few M&M's each time as a reward as she had success on the toilet.

I wish you both the VERY best at this stage of his life.

LOL what a coincidence. My cousin, who is 3, visited our house yesterday and had the same problem. (although finally he did manage to 'poopie')

I don't have any advice, though, since I'm not a parent yet.

Had the same problem with my son (don't tell him I am writing this - he is 13 now and would hide in his room for a year ROFL). He simply wouldn't "go" on the toilet; he held it and held it until he was completely constipated and couldn't have gone if he wanted to! We ended up at the doctor, with a prescription for stool softener. And honestly, I don't know when he suddenly decided that it was better to go than not go.

Get the book "Everybody Poops" - seriously. It's a classic. http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/091629 ... e&n=283155

Kim

Here's what worked with my son (don't ask me why)...we had tried EVERYTHING, and what finally worked was QUARTERS! He got 2 quarters every time he went (maybe more, come to think of it) and after he was trained, he was allowed to take that money and pick out a toy. Course, I ended up chipping in extra for the toy, but it was SO worth it.

Edited to add: We kept the quarters in a cup in the bathroom so he could watch his savings build up.

Kim_in_MN wrote:Had the same problem with my son (don't tell him I am writing this - he is 13 now and would hide in his room for a year ROFL). He simply wouldn't "go" on the toilet; he held it and held it until he was completely constipated and couldn't have gone if he wanted to! We ended up at the doctor, with a prescription for stool softener. And honestly, I don't know when he suddenly decided that it was better to go than not go.

Get the book "Everybody Poops" - seriously. It's a classic. http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/091629 ... e&n=283155

Kim

Noticed another one on the list, too..."The Gas We Pass".

Thanks Bella.. Thats how I got him potty trained. Just dosent work with the poop.. lol.. I think it is a lazy issue.. I just am not sure.. And as most of you know his mother and I are no longer together and while I have him most of the time she does still get him. And I fear she un does everything I do when he is there cause she says he is real bad with the potty for her

get a low potty to start with and ofter insentives. if that doesnt work say he's gonna explode if he doesnt poop. lol
its mean but on some kids it works

chadtm80 wrote:Thanks Bella.. Thats how I got him potty trained. Just dosent work with the poop.. lol.. I think it is a lazy issue.. I just am not sure.. And as most of you know his mother and I are no longer together and while I have him most of the time she does still get him. And I fear she un does everything I do when he is there cause she says he is real bad with the potty for her

Wow, I can see how tough it is with Mommy and Daddy apart, especially if she is not cooperating. It's so important for her to follow your guidelines and work with you when it comes to things like this. My son was 3 when we trained him, but luckily he did both at the same time. He really didn't like the pull-ups that let him feel wet, and the money was that extra bonus he needed to keep him on track. Sorry I can't help, but I feel for you. It's not a fun thing, but will be so worth it once it's over.

What about the books suggested? That sounds like a really good next step.

Our daughter is 6 and just till recently she now goes poop on the toilet, a few weeks ago my mother in law has a pool and told Jasmine that everytime she was to poop in her pants no pool, so now in order to swim in the pool she has to poop on the toilet , now she does. I think she used to do it in her pants for attention.

I remember having to force myself to remain very calm during potty training. I recall saying - oh well, that's okay - a lot! If you tense up, the child will sense it. Or if you hurry them along, it will not work. He might not like the kerplunk sound either. My girls didn't like that either so we put tissue in the bowl first. But careful, he might want to put too much in and then you'll have a stopped up toilet!

Key word here?

RELAX!

Good luck Chad. In no time it will all work out if you have a laid back approach.

Mary

I agree with Mary. There should be no timetable. Kids will do it when they're ready. I'll throw this out without going into detail: Kids love to imitate thier parents.

Chad - thought of more to add. I remembered now how I would keep the laundry caught up (change of sheets, underwear, pj's, etc.) just in case my kids had an accident. When you're half asleep you just don't want to be searching for these items. Also, when leaving home, we were prepared. I didn't exactly point out I was this prepared (as in it's okay to go in your pants, no that wouldn't do), it was more for my sanity that I was. It's really only a short span you have to think this way. Trust me! Before you know it, he'll be starting Kindergarten!

Mary

Chad,
Don't worry. After having four kids and all four started using the bathroom at different ages none of them went to kindergarten pooping in their pants. My son trained at about three but still had accidents at 3 1/2. Can't go further on that one though.

My oldest daughter was another story. I honestly thought she would go to kindergarten in pull ups. Around 3 1/2 she started to use the potty and around 4 she started to poop in the potty.

My middle daughter potty trained about a month before her third birthday but she still wets at night.

And the baby...she is a mess. She can go all night without going. She can poop in the potty. But do you think that she does it. No! She gets a kick out of pooping in her pants because it is something that she still has control over. Being #4 there is no way I am going to worry. She will not go to kindergarten pooping in her pants.

Children will use the potty at different ages. No child is alike and it doesn't matter how mature or advance they are. They either make up their mind to go or they will drive you nuts and go in their pants. It will come with time so sit back and enjoy your little one because they grow up so fast. Hang in there because you will laugh at this moment.

Oh I meant to add that for some reason they always pee first and it seems to come natural. Pooping is the last thing and I think that it has something to do with their muscle and knowing when to go.

chadtm80 wrote:Ok Parents.. Any advice? My son is 3 and a half and should be fully pottie trained by now.

Chad, the one thing I have learned in my trip through parenthood is that the SHOULD word should be tossed out the window. There are so many reasons why your son is still not potty trained yet.....maybe it's a physical issue, maybe he doesn't want to take the time to stop what he's doing and go and maybe, just maybe, it's a control thing.

It could be that he's a little anxious about the situation between you and his mom and this is his way of exerting a little control (yeah, it's gross) or maybe he sees that it gets a rise out of you. Kids love attention and negative attention is sometimes better because it's predictable.

Like others have told you, the best thing for you to do is just be calm, cool and collected when it happens. And also remember that there aren't too many elementary school students who still need diapers. He WILL get trained, it will just be on his timetable, not yours.

Something that might speed the process, and it might be hard, is to not rush to get him changed when he's dirty. He's old enough to mind the fact that he really stinks and he's uncomfortable. The other kids will probably say something to him......or he might ask you to change him......then say, yeah, in a few minutes, I'm busy now, next time maybe you can use the potty when you need to go. It's a fine line....don't wait too long....just long enough to let the thought sink in. Try it a few times and see if you get a positive reaction.

Finally, how about a seat that fits on the toilet. (Maybe you're using one like this already?) I know some kids like this style better than others.

Above all, don't despair. He'll surprise you one day and just start doing it. Proably with no fanfare. It'll just happen. Then you'll be on the next big "thing".

BocaGirl
Barbara

I have two boys. This is what worked for me. I figured out that the reason they won't use the toliet is because somewhere in their little minds they are afraid of falling in. All they really know about it is that things that go in there leave with a loud roar and never come back.

Solution: Let him straddle the toliet BACKWARDS. That way, they can hang onto the tank while they use the toliet and feel more secure about being "way up there". Works like a charm!

Windsong

Wow! Just reread my post. Sorry about all the bad grammer in it. I am at work and shouldn't be posting.

Anyhow, try the facing backward thing. After a time or two, you will see a real effort once your son realizes HE isn't going to fall in.

Windsong

would you believe there are entire forums about this? and at Berkeley too!

http://parents.berkeley.edu/advice/pott ... tpoop.html

Boca, I think that "should" word needs to be tossed out of the English language all together. If you are, you are - if you're not, you're not. Should just adds the guilt trip to whomever should have and didn't.

Chad, you have gotten some really good advice here. I love Beachbum and BocaGirl's take on potty training. I'd follow their lead.

You have enough on your mind. Don't worry. When it happens it happens.