I'm an emotional mess

[yoda]

Hey all,

Sorry to bother all of you, but I need to vent kinda. I'm a total emotional mess right now. My best friend Sarah was rushed to the hospital late yesterday because she had extreme pain in her gallbladder region (the pain was known for a while, but it had never been that extreme). It was found she was going to have to have emergency surgery this morning. As I type this, she is currently having surgery to remove her gallbladder. Anyway, I'm a complete emotional mess. I didn't know what to do, I felt horrible for her, and I couldn't do anything for her. I did buy her her favorite CD she wanted and I gave it to her late last night before she fell asleep and when she was pretty well-medicated (something stronger than morphine). I know it seems weird, but I sobbed all last night because I felt horrible. As some of you know, my mental state is never set in stone, and I feel completely lost right now. I don't know what to do, and I have to go back to the hospital this afternoon.

Also, what may have made me this way as well was that I was a router, as in Sarah's dad was texting me all the latest updates on her condition and her status. I had to make numerous phone calls last night so everyone could know what was going on.

So yeah, that's it for right now...

[Lindaloo]

Well golly, you did everything you were supposed to do as far as a great friend. She does have a good friend in you yoda. You should be happy knowing that Sara will not be in anymore pain after this surgery.

This is a common procedure having the gallbladder removed. My best friend had hers removed and she said she felt SO Much better. No more pain.

[azsnowman]

Yoda,

Taking from experience here, gallbladder surgery is NO BIG DEAL....she will have to watch what she eats from now but that's the ONLY change! Keep your chin up buddy....she will be JUST fine, in fact, the surgery is done with a scope, no cutting is needed, it's plain and simple and recovery time is NOTHING!!

You did everything you could Bro!

[JenBayles]

Ditto what Linda said! Same thing happened to me years ago and the best thing you can do is field all the phone calls and hold her hand until she feels better. If they did the surgery with the laparoscope instead of the old-fashioned open version, the recovery can be only a week or two, with only 4 tiny incisions. Of course, seeing so little interference on the outside of the body can lead one to believe it's simpler than it really is. She'll need to remember that internally, there's a lot of healing going on and to take it easy for those couple of weeks post-op.

One other note from experience: she'll need to take it easy with some foods for a while. The gallbladder stores bile that is excreted from the liver. When you eat a fatty meal, the gallbladder contracts so the bile can help digest the fats. Without a gallbladder, there is now a direct highway for bile from the liver to the small intestine, and it can sometimes result in fairly spectacular diarrhea until the body adjusts. Most people don't have a problem with it at all. Not a fun topic, but better to know these things ahead of time I think.

Hang in there - it will get better. I promise! {{{{{}}}}}

[CajunMama]

To repeat what the others said....gallbladder surgery is no big deal these days. Your friend will feel sooooo much better. My niece had hers out 1 week before her wedding!!!

Modern medicine has come such a long way in 50 years. What used to be a big deal is now an in and out procedure with less pain.

You're a good friend to her Yoda. Don't let things like this stress you out. You should feel blessed that Sarah's dad trusted you to get the word out to her other friends about her condition. That shows he thinks very highly of you.

[Rainband]

Prayers on the way for Sarah. Hang in there Bud, your being a good friend

[Pburgh]

Yoda, what a wonderful friend you are. Your sensitivity is really amazing. I just wish you would realize that you are kind and sensitive and not think of it as being an "emotional mess". How sweet of you to get her the CD she wanted.

Your friend Sarah will be fine. I know how scarey situations like this can be, but, trust me, she will be better than ever. I'll say a prayer for both of you.

((HUGS)) my friend.
Karan

[yoda]

Thanks everyone. I appreciate the reponses. As an update, she's out of surgery and in the recovery room.

To clarify, I didn't mean about the surgery, I know that it would be ok and she will feel better. Its just I get very emotional when I see someone I love and know in pain and I can't help them get better. I guess it was just a bit freaky to me that she would have to be rushed to the hospital to get it removed because it was going to get removed anyway, but at a later time.

Thanks again...

[Cookiely]

You certainly did all the right things. When you go take a pretty card to cheer her up. My uncle was back at work at the phone company seven days after he had his gallbladder out. The surgery is much less dangerous than it used to be. My prayers will be with you to give you the courage to help your friend in the next few days.

[Pburgh]

yoda, that is a totally helpless feeling. ((HUGS)) I hate to tell you but it never gets any better. We just learn to live with that "freaky" feeling and do what we can to help the people we love. You are doing your best as a wonderful friend.

[yoda]

You certainly did all the right things. When you go take a pretty card to cheer her up. My uncle was back at work at the phone company seven days after he had his gallbladder out. The surgery is much less dangerous than it used to be. My prayers will be with you to give you the courage to help your friend in the next few days.

I have one already... and plan on taking it to her this afternoon.

[southerngale]

Like others have said, you showed what a great friend you are and did everything right. Sarah is lucky to have a friend like you, and she'll be fine.

[yoda]

Don't yell at me, but I am skipping my Geog 103 class. I can't concentrate at all, even while I was reading notes from the class before. I have some people in the class who I know who can get me the notes and most of the time she posts the slides on webct (GMU website).

I know everything's going to be ok, I know she's going to be fine and all, but I am still not quite emotionally or mentally there. I really don't know why this is, but it just is...

[Miss Mary]

Matt - you are such wonderful friend to Sarah. I know you feel very helpless right now. What I would suggest to you is to put yourself in her shoes. If you had just had surgery, what would you need? Sometimes just putting the focus on the other person helps us comes to grips with how we're feeling. It's not as if you're shutting off your feelings but rather, putting them aside for now. And focusing on her. Does that makes sense? Please know I mean this advice (motherly I know) in the kindest way possible. Until you've been thru surgery, it's hard to know what to do in these situations. But having come thru several myself I know I wanted my husband's quiet way of caregiving. Not hovering, not smothering. He had such a patient way with me back then (had my gallbadder romoved too but during a colon surgery so I didn't have the quick and easy recovery Sarah will likely have). He just made sure I had my meds, meals, fresh water to drink, he let me cry if I needed to and most of all, nothing was expected of me (being a mom, I had tons of responsibilities back then). Run errands for Sarah, offer to do her laundry, keep her company, pick up a few magazines to read, etc. And mostly, just be a quiet presense. The rest will just take care of itself.

Wishing you well (as always) and for Sarah to recovery quickly.
Mary

[JenBayles]

You are so right again Mary! I'm the same way when I'm sick: just take over the other responsibilities and check on me once in a while. I never did like the "babying" style of nursing myself. I'm not much of a one for a lot of visitors in the hospital either. I'm lying here sick and hurting - please don't ask me to entertain. Just staying awake and aware is hard enough. Dave just hanging out with me, watching TV and fielding phone and personal callers? Great!

[coriolis]

Yoda, this crisis is one of many more to come that will shape you and define you. As you get though this, you'll come to know that life goes on. Each time it will be a little easier. At some point you'll be able to be the one that tells people "it's no big deal."

[Dee Bee]

Blessings to you, yoda, for being such a blessing to your friend Sarah!

[tropicana]

Yoda..to just re-iterate what the others said, you are really a true friend. Wshing a speedy recovery for Sara!

[Cookiely]

You certainly did all the right things. When you go take a pretty card to cheer her up. My uncle was back at work at the phone company seven days after he had his gallbladder out. The surgery is much less dangerous than it used to be. My prayers will be with you to give you the courage to help your friend in the next few days.

I have one already... and plan on taking it to her this afternoon.

Yoda I have another idea to keep her mind occupied. My nineteen year old niece has non hodgkins lymphoma and spent over two months in the hospital. Most hospital rooms now have vcr or dvd players. What my niece wanted the most was movies to watch to keep her mind off the pain. Check with the hospital to see if its available and maybe you can rent a movie that she would like.

[yoda]

You certainly did all the right things. When you go take a pretty card to cheer her up. My uncle was back at work at the phone company seven days after he had his gallbladder out. The surgery is much less dangerous than it used to be. My prayers will be with you to give you the courage to help your friend in the next few days.

I have one already... and plan on taking it to her this afternoon.

Yoda I have another idea to keep her mind occupied. My nineteen year old niece has non hodgkins lymphoma and spent over two months in the hospital. Most hospital rooms now have vcr or dvd players. What my niece wanted the most was movies to watch to keep her mind off the pain. Check with the hospital to see if its available and maybe you can rent a movie that she would like.

She was very drugged when I saw her and she complained of it being very painful to move... so we let her just lie back and talk to us. When we were leaving, her nurse was putting in more pain meds for her... something stronger than morphine.