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Question for the gals only
Posted: Mon Oct 09, 2006 6:54 pm
by GalvestonDuck
...because the answer would most obviously be a resounding "No!" from the guys.
Be honest -- do you use terms of endearment for friends, coworkers, and other acquaintances of the same gender (i.e. babe, sweetheart, darlin'), outside of the usual appreciative tone or sympathetic tone when someone is sick or hurt? In other words, I'm not talking about "Are you okay, sweetie?" or "Thanks, hon." I'm talking about other general comments -- "Talk to you soon, sweetheart" or "Hey, babe!" especially in regards to text messages (IM, email, etc.) where you tend to be more prudent with your words because of their permanency.
For me, I know I'm selective about who gets a comment like that from me. Either you know me well enough (and I know you do) to know I'm not assertively flirting (even if you are attractive to me), or you don't know me well enough and I'm tossing out a flirtatious hint.
So, when I'm on the receiving end of such a comment, I can't help but wonder if a hint is being tossed my way.
Remember a few months ago when I asked if any of you had ever felt your heart spin? Well, yup...five months later and mine's still spinning. And as per PoppySky's advice, I am taking it all in with a patient heart and enjoying the ride. I've been told I have the patience of Job. Good thing, huh?

Posted: Mon Oct 09, 2006 7:00 pm
by Stephanie
I don't - to me it would be flirtatious.

Posted: Mon Oct 09, 2006 7:01 pm
by angelwing
I don't I usually says thanks kiddo or depending if I'm on base, thank Ma'm/Sir, otherwise I wouldn't use any terms of endearment except on my beardie:) (and the hubby once in a great while)
Posted: Mon Oct 09, 2006 7:31 pm
by brunota2003
just poking my head in...I'm not a gal...just proving that guys would say no...ah ahm "NO"

Posted: Mon Oct 09, 2006 7:55 pm
by Josephine96
Um No.. definitely not to the guys LMAO

but to the ladies I work with or hang out around or whatever.. then yes..
I know.. I wasn't supposed to chime in here lol..
Posted: Mon Oct 09, 2006 8:25 pm
by sunny
No, I don't Duckie. I'll use sweetie or darlin when I'm trying to comfort a friend, but not in the normal course of a conversation.
Posted: Mon Oct 09, 2006 9:20 pm
by Cookiely
I use words of endearment all the time.
Posted: Mon Oct 09, 2006 10:32 pm
by Yankeegirl
I think I would take it the same way as you, Duckie.... Unless I knew the person fairly well, and knew that they talked to everyone like that... but.... if someone I knew, but not too well, said that to me or said something to the effect of "talk to you later, baby.." I would definately take it as a "hint".... Hope this is a good kind of hint for ya?
Posted: Tue Oct 10, 2006 5:59 am
by O Town
I only use terms of endearment for my kids(other children at times), hubby, and sometimes with my best friend. Not too often with my B/F and never with my other friends or acquaintances.

Posted: Tue Oct 10, 2006 6:28 am
by coriolis
My wife uses "hon" a lot, with people like store clerks and such.
Posted: Tue Oct 10, 2006 7:06 am
by Miss Mary
I have funny nicknames for my friends but haven't quite used words such as babe or hon. Probably girl but not girlfriend. I just cannot pull off - you go girl or girlfriend - LOL!
That said I have two dear friends from HS. What I'm about to say will make me sound ancient - we met in 1970. Our Freshman year and are still good-good friends. The one will ask you a zillion questions when she talks to you. You barely can answer one question before she's onto the next one, usually a different topic from the previous ?. Example - how was your vacation, what fun things did you do, was the drive too long, how did you get time off from work, then switcheroo - how is my oldest liking college, what is her major, how did she choose that major, then switcheroo again - when you do manage to do your ironing? I'm serious, this is how she talks. Interested in your life, not a nosey way (as in how much did your vacation cost) but rather, she just wants to know what is new with you. But you can barely get a word in edgewise.
I call her the Question Queen and she knows it. LOL
The other is well, corny. All her parties have themes, down to questionaires that are mailed with the invite. That you answer by hand, don't sign your name and submit to her when you arrive at the party. Later she reads the answers outloud and guesses who wrote them. Or she pins names of celebs on paper, on your back. And you are expected to walk around and ask 3 clues as to who you remind her of. In other words, you can't just mingle and enjoy a beer.
So I call her Corny Nancy. But lovingly.
And both know I do this.
Wonder what they call me? LOL!!!!
Mary
Posted: Tue Oct 10, 2006 9:38 am
by Pburgh
I use the term "sweetie" a lot. I guess cause I'm older and it's kinda a mothering thing.
!
Posted: Tue Oct 10, 2006 10:20 am
by GrimReaper

Grim HATES terms of endearment, either received or given!!!!!
ONE exception: my 12yr old daughter......I call her Roo
Posted: Tue Oct 10, 2006 10:47 am
by JenBayles
I'll use those terms when dealing with upset children, but not adults. I'm not real wild about being on the receiving end either unless it's a family member or someone I've known for years. However, I know plenty of people, men included, who just let terms of endearment naturally drop into their vocabulary. It's just part of who they are and nothing I would take offense at or be uncomfortable with.
Posted: Tue Oct 10, 2006 4:31 pm
by Bobbie Lee
I guess I'm in a part of the south where terms such as "sugar" and "darlin'" and "hon" are almost expected. It would be rude not to use them.
Most of the guys I work with are young enough to be my sons. If a little sweet-talk persuades them to do a favor for me, I'll sweet-talk. Sometimes a little harmless flirting or "mothering" can ease moods and stress. It's not like I'm a threat to anyone -- I'm a grandmother with tri-focals, bad knees, and a cane, and have been in the work force longer than most of them have been on the planet.

Posted: Tue Oct 10, 2006 7:15 pm
by azsnowman
EH....in the words of Bugs Bunny....."Eh, could be!"
Posted: Tue Oct 10, 2006 8:56 pm
by Miss Mary
azsnowman wrote:EH....in the words of Bugs Bunny....."Eh, could be!"
Dennis - whatcha doing responding to a gals only thread....LOL!!!
Posted: Thu Oct 12, 2006 8:45 am
by Windsong
I think terms of endearment should be reserved for those that you have feelings about or for flirting. My SO calls EVERYBODY sweetie, hon, cutie etc. So, when he calls me the same thing, I really don't feel special over it. It's one of his only faults, but it drives me nuts!

Posted: Thu Oct 12, 2006 8:50 am
by sunny
I need to revise my response Duckie. I have noticed that I do use "hon" and "darlin" a bit. Didn't realize it!
Posted: Thu Oct 12, 2006 10:42 am
by GalvestonDuck
sunny wrote:I need to revise my response Duckie. I have noticed that I do use "hon" and "darlin" a bit. Didn't realize it!
Remember though, gang, I'm asking about what you say in
text form, where your words are "stuck" there and can be absorbed on a more indelible level. I know plenty of people who use terms of endearment more freely when they are speaking than, if at all, when they are writing.
Thanks, though, for the responses!