STORM2K

I made the decision yesterday that I should break it off with my boyfriend. Even though I have not done so officially yet. We have been dating since July 14th. This is what made me made me pretty much make up my mind to end it. We have not seen each other in a whole week and we live barely 15 min away from each other. Everytime he says he is going to come see me, he has some excuse. Every since I totaled my car driving home from his house, I told him I was not going to do all the driving to go see him. He was going to have to make an effort to come see me and everyday we could possibly see each other, he would come up with some excuse. Thursday he was supposed to come get me from work. He gets off at 5:30 every night. Well, he never showed up and never called! If it just happened once, and he apologized for it, then I could forgive and forget, and give him another chance. He did this to me countless times! I get a text message on my phone the next morning around 8:30 saying I been sick baby call me. Love you. Even if he was sick, he still could of called!

Another reason I am ending it is because he drinks heavily nearly every day. And I don't want an alcoholic for a boyfriend. He also drinks and drives which puts my life at risk. And when he drinks he treats me like crap! He still never called. Just a text message. And I NEVER called him! I am tired of him taking me for granted. I spent $70 on his Christmas gift. (3 shirts and a bottle of cologne) I am bringing it back to the store and getting my money back. And tonight, when I get off work, I am going out with my friend and having a girls night out. (She is going through a terrible divorce) I am depressed, but I will be okay. I have been so unhappy for the last 2-3 months and life is too short to live unhappy.

You are likely making the correct choice, Cajungal. There is no reason to go on in a relationship where one person is not trustworthy. I have been in this situation twice (0-2 in the dating game), and it is a turn-off when people begin to "forget" about significant others in their lives. When they take others for granted, that is when that nice little boundary comes.

Drinking? Yeah, I had a girlfriend that drank a lot and did have at least one DUI. Not only is that a turn-off but it is also a safety hazard.

Finally, life is way too short to deal with a goofball such as that.

Well since it was around christmas maybe he was planning some huge surprise. But maybe not. I wish you the best of luck!

Oh, I'm so sorry you had to arrive at this decision now, but everything you wrote just screams "RUN!" to me. He is not The One, and I applaud your courage in recognizing that and moving on. Stick to your guns - you are making the right decision. Now TRY to enjoy the holidays with people who are worthy of you!

JenBayles wrote:Oh, I'm so sorry you had to arrive at this decision now, but everything you wrote just screams "RUN!" to me. He is not The One, and I applaud your courage in recognizing that and moving on. Stick to your guns - you are making the right decision. Now TRY to enjoy the holidays with people who are worthy of you!

I concur and couldn't have said it better. Find those people in life who bring out the best in you and celebrate with them this holiday season.

JenBayles wrote:Oh, I'm so sorry you had to arrive at this decision now, but everything you wrote just screams "RUN!" to me. He is not The One, and I applaud your courage in recognizing that and moving on. Stick to your guns - you are making the right decision. Now TRY to enjoy the holidays with people who are worthy of you!

AMEN and AMEN!

Trust me...you have lost NOTHING by ending this relationship, in my line of work I see jerks like this on a DAILY bases and believe me you would have wound up in a physical altercation with this idiot....

As I've said a hundred times....when you least expect the RIGHT one will come along and it will be SO wonderful!!

Hang in there, enjoy your girls night out and "Forget about da bum!"

azsnowman wrote:

JenBayles wrote:Oh, I'm so sorry you had to arrive at this decision now, but everything you wrote just screams "RUN!" to me. He is not The One, and I applaud your courage in recognizing that and moving on. Stick to your guns - you are making the right decision. Now TRY to enjoy the holidays with people who are worthy of you!

AMEN and AMEN!

Trust me...you have lost NOTHING by ending this relationship, in my line of work I see jerks like this on a DAILY bases and believe me you would have wound up in a physical altercation with this idiot....

As I've said a hundred times....when you least expect the RIGHT one will come along and it will be SO wonderful!!

Hang in there, enjoy your girls night out and "Forget about da bum!"

AMEN! Snow guy!

You did the right thing, he is an idiot for treating you the way he did. You deserve much better. So advice, stay single for awhile, don't try to hook up with someone right away. Wait until a good one comes around, it may take awhile but one will come. Good luck.

Good for you, Cajungal! You're a smart woman!

What Jen, Garrett, etc. said. You don't seem to be losing much! From what you've said, he sounds like a real jerk. Don't waste your time with people like him. Have fun tonight, forget about him, and enjoy your family this Christmas.

Merry Christmas.

be firm and actually break it off... no excuses to let it continue

Don't do what my mother does and come up with an excuse to continue the relationship with her dirtbag of a husband (it is to the point that I have considered looking into child custody laws regarding my 4 year old brother... but thats another time or place)

Sounds to me like you are making the right choice.. keep your chin up girl. You will find someone one day who will make the effort to be with you and you'll know you did the right thing.

You should be proud that you have the courage to break it off and get on with your life. I've hung on to relationships in the past until it was rediculous. Too stubborn to admit it wasn't going to work and it just causes heaps of grief. Enjoy yourself with your friends and best of luck in finding a nice man who will treat you as you deserve to be treated.

cajungal wrote:I made the decision yesterday that I should break it off with my boyfriend. Even though I have not done so officially yet. We have been dating since July 14th. This is what made me made me pretty much make up my mind to end it. We have not seen each other in a whole week and we live barely 15 min away from each other. Everytime he says he is going to come see me, he has some excuse. Every since I totaled my car driving home from his house, I told him I was not going to do all the driving to go see him. He was going to have to make an effort to come see me and everyday we could possibly see each other, he would come up with some excuse. Thursday he was supposed to come get me from work. He gets off at 5:30 every night. Well, he never showed up and never called! If it just happened once, and he apologized for it, then I could forgive and forget, and give him another chance. He did this to me countless times! I get a text message on my phone the next morning around 8:30 saying I been sick baby call me. Love you. Even if he was sick, he still could of called!

Another reason I am ending it is because he drinks heavily nearly every day. And I don't want an alcoholic for a boyfriend. He also drinks and drives which puts my life at risk. And when he drinks he treats me like crap! He still never called. Just a text message. And I NEVER called him! I am tired of him taking me for granted. I spent $70 on his Christmas gift. (3 shirts and a bottle of cologne) I am bringing it back to the store and getting my money back. And tonight, when I get off work, I am going out with my friend and having a girls night out. (She is going through a terrible divorce) I am depressed, but I will be okay. I have been so unhappy for the last 2-3 months and life is too short to live unhappy.

Run, CajunGirl, run! These are clearly red flags. You are absolutely right to break this off now...in my experience these actions will not change. Go out with the girls. Rely on your friends and trust in their love and advice. You deserve love and happiness, and someone who will love you for who you are. You don't need this guy, because he sounds like a nightmare waiting to happen. He sounds like a mean alcoholic. Believe me CajunGirl, you are making the right decision IMO. I'm sorry you've been so unhappy lately. The last thing you need is this troubled man undermining your sense of self-worth.


Janie

You're making the right choice. Your boyfriends needs to seek help. Why would he drink and drive drunk? That's really dangerous. I wish you have a Jolly and Merry Christmas.

I know I might be making the wrong decision, but we worked things out. I went out with my friend and he would not stop calling and blowing up my phone with text messages. I went put my cell phone in the glove department of my car because it was hard to get my mind off him while out. Well, around 1 a.m. the lights went out in the club. (someone ran into a telephone pole knocking power out to parts of Houma) so my friend and I got in the car to leave. I checked my phone and it nothing but missed calls and text messages from him. So, I had my friend drive me 30 minutes away to his house in Thibodaux so we could talk. We had a talk outside alone. I told him if he screws up one more time, then it will really be over for good. He said he was not going to drink during the week anymore only weekends. And I will refuse to get in the car with him if he is drinking and I will take his keys. Because this his last chance to straighten out. I also told him never to stand me up again. If you can't make it, I don't care how sick you are, it only takes 2 seconds to pick up a phone. So, we will see.... this a trial basis. If he stands me up at my Paw-Paw's house this afternoon for Christmas, then it is really over.

cajungal wrote:I know I might be making the wrong decision, but we worked things out. I went out with my friend and he would not stop calling and blowing up my phone with text messages. I went put my cell phone in the glove department of my car because it was hard to get my mind off him while out. Well, around 1 a.m. the lights went out in the club. (someone ran into a telephone pole knocking power out to parts of Houma) so my friend and I got in the car to leave. I checked my phone and it nothing but missed calls and text messages from him. So, I had my friend drive me 30 minutes away to his house in Thibodaux so we could talk. We had a talk outside alone. I told him if he screws up one more time, then it will really be over for good. He said he was not going to drink during the week anymore only weekends. And I will refuse to get in the car with him if he is drinking and I will take his keys. Because this his last chance to straighten out. I also told him never to stand me up again. If you can't make it, I don't care how sick you are, it only takes 2 seconds to pick up a phone. So, we will see.... this a trial basis. If he stands me up at my Paw-Paw's house this afternoon for Christmas, then it is really over.

Ultimately, it is between you and your boyfriend. Like I said, he gets help. Alcoholism and substance abuse is serious matter. I've had friends who suffered from it. In fact one of them died from drug overdose.

He needs help. And as much as I hate to say it, I fear you've made a bad choice. People like this need help, and badly.

to be 100% honest...


I have no words to say... but I have seen this pattern before from my own mom. Now, her and I do not even see each other because of her unwillingness to leave... and she will not even be called to wish a Merry Christmas.

That kind of treatment will not end from him... until the relationship ends

Well lets just hope for the best. Just stay true to your words.