DICTIONARY FOR DECODING - Humor
Posted: Thu Feb 08, 2007 6:57 pm
DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS:
* 40-ish..............................49.
* Adventurous.........................Slept with everyone.
* Athletic............................No breasts.
* Average looking.....................Moooo.
* Beautiful...........................Pathological liar.
* Emotionally secure..................On medication.
* Feminist............................Fat.
* Free Spirit.........................Junkie.
* Friendship first....................Former Slut.
* New-Age.............................Body hair in the wrong places.
* Old-fashioned.......................No B.J.'s
* Open-minded.........................Desperate.
* Outgoing............................Loud and embarrassing.
* Professional........................mean lady.
* Voluptuous..........................Very fat.
* Large frame.........................Hugely fat.
* Wants soul mate.....................Stalker.
DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN'S ENGLISH:
* Yes...................................No
* No....................................Yes
* Maybe.................................No
* We need...............................I want
* I am sorry............................You'll be sorry
* We need to talk.......................You're in trouble
* Sure, go ahead........................You better not
* Do what you want......................You will pay for this later
* I am not upset........................Of course, I am upset, you
moron!
* You're attentive tonight..............Is sex all you ever think about?
DICTIONARY FOR DECODING MEN'S ENGLISH:
* I am hungry.............................I am hungry
* I am sleepy.............................I am sleepy
* I am tired..............................I am tired
* Nice dress..............................Nice cleavage!
* I love you..............................Let's have sex now
* I am bored..............................Do you want to have sex?
* May I have this dance?..................I'd like to have sex with you.
* Can I call you sometime.................I'd like to have sex with you.
* Do you want to go to a movie?...........I'd like to have sex with you.
* Can I take you out to dinner?...........I'd like to have sex with you.
* I don't think those shoes go with that outfit..............I'm gay.
* 40-ish..............................49.
* Adventurous.........................Slept with everyone.
* Athletic............................No breasts.
* Average looking.....................Moooo.
* Beautiful...........................Pathological liar.
* Emotionally secure..................On medication.
* Feminist............................Fat.
* Free Spirit.........................Junkie.
* Friendship first....................Former Slut.
* New-Age.............................Body hair in the wrong places.
* Old-fashioned.......................No B.J.'s
* Open-minded.........................Desperate.
* Outgoing............................Loud and embarrassing.
* Professional........................mean lady.
* Voluptuous..........................Very fat.
* Large frame.........................Hugely fat.
* Wants soul mate.....................Stalker.
DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN'S ENGLISH:
* Yes...................................No
* No....................................Yes
* Maybe.................................No
* We need...............................I want
* I am sorry............................You'll be sorry
* We need to talk.......................You're in trouble
* Sure, go ahead........................You better not
* Do what you want......................You will pay for this later
* I am not upset........................Of course, I am upset, you
moron!
* You're attentive tonight..............Is sex all you ever think about?
DICTIONARY FOR DECODING MEN'S ENGLISH:
* I am hungry.............................I am hungry
* I am sleepy.............................I am sleepy
* I am tired..............................I am tired
* Nice dress..............................Nice cleavage!
* I love you..............................Let's have sex now
* I am bored..............................Do you want to have sex?
* May I have this dance?..................I'd like to have sex with you.
* Can I call you sometime.................I'd like to have sex with you.
* Do you want to go to a movie?...........I'd like to have sex with you.
* Can I take you out to dinner?...........I'd like to have sex with you.
* I don't think those shoes go with that outfit..............I'm gay.
