Brown Recluse Spider vs. Me: who would win?
Posted: Sat Jul 07, 2007 3:15 am
So I had a gala experience tonight. It's 1 AM and I ain't going to sleep anytime soon.
It all starts when my eyes spot a spider - a brown one. I immediately recognize it as a brown recluse or a variant. Of course, I know what a brown recluse can do, and it is not pretty. I hate killing anything, even spiders, nor would I want to use bare hands to kill this particular one. I've nothing but paper downstairs, which I don't want to deal with since everyone's asleep, and toilet paper... gotta love how it tears at the slightest tension. So I turn to another idea, which is how I delt with a brown recluse a few years ago - trap it.
In my infinite wisdom, not wanting to use a container which I have a slightest chance of actually drinking from, I find a little baggie and a stick. Easy enough, right? Sorta like scooping ice cream. Well, nope. Living up to its name, the Recluse runs away, frantically, at a rapid pace. I try it a couple of times, and then I realize that it isn't going to work. Again in my infinite wisdom, I poke it, and of course, again, the Recluse scurries out. I did not want it near my desk, so I made it go up. Bad choice.
The next thing I know, the spider is on the ceiling. And I realize that I'm in trouble. There's this something called gravity, and the spider was right above me. Obviously, it would not be excessively pleasant for a spider to land on my face - especially given my pseudo-arachnophobia. So I finally use a container, and I place it directly under the spider, holding it to the top to the ceiling. But the spider's legs are strong. More importantly, however, the spider has some brains. Perhaps amounting to more than what I have. I move the container away from the ceiling, sure that everything would be fine and the spider would be caught in the container. Wrong. It was still up there, and of course, seeing that the threat was over, it started scurrying again.
At this time I was completely concentrated on the spider, and I had totally forgotten my surroundings. Note to self and others: that's not good! Trying to catch the spider again, I bumped on the rod that held the curtains, and it came down with a crash. I was sure the spider was laughing, and my grandparents next door were stirring - I had to stop. But with the spider just above, I dared not put the rod back on. It was in shambles anyway, so I did the natural thing and reassembled it. Meanwhile, I regained my stubbornness, or maybe should I say my excessive fear, and I went back to trying to catch the spider, thinking there was a chance it could somehow wander to my bed.
Same old routine with the container. Place it on the ceiling, hold it, see what the spider does. Same result. Spider's pretty smart. Except, oh no! OH NO!!! It fell. In utter shock, I scramed back, and for a couple of minutes was dumbfolded enough to stare at the original location of the spider. Where did it go? Was it dead (yeah, right)? For 15 minutes I jumped back and forth, wanting to get the spider - I was definitely going to kill it this time - but then realizing that I could just as easily accidently find it, either stepped on or on my hand. I did not want to get bitten, so like a snake-handler dealing with the deadliest snake in the world, I used the fallen rod to chew through whatever stuff that was near where the spider could've fallen. While doing that, it seemed that every time, I felt there was a spider on me. Perhaps I screamed like a girl a couple of times, I don't know. I kept feeling that stuff was tingling inside my shirt.
Eventually, I did find it. Of course, subsequently I lost it again. But knowing the vicinity of the spider at least, the HAZMAT team of myself deemed it safe to go on my computer again. I was going to end this long, drawn-out story with a "so it's still scurrying around, in the darkness", which of course is not entirely false, but I just spotted it on my window while I was typing this! No doubt moving about, going where it wants to go. For me, I'm giving up. Just too tired and have to clean up from my stupidity. Still got some work that I vowed to do the hour before I sleep.
Kudos to the spider. Shame on me.
What a night.
It all starts when my eyes spot a spider - a brown one. I immediately recognize it as a brown recluse or a variant. Of course, I know what a brown recluse can do, and it is not pretty. I hate killing anything, even spiders, nor would I want to use bare hands to kill this particular one. I've nothing but paper downstairs, which I don't want to deal with since everyone's asleep, and toilet paper... gotta love how it tears at the slightest tension. So I turn to another idea, which is how I delt with a brown recluse a few years ago - trap it.
In my infinite wisdom, not wanting to use a container which I have a slightest chance of actually drinking from, I find a little baggie and a stick. Easy enough, right? Sorta like scooping ice cream. Well, nope. Living up to its name, the Recluse runs away, frantically, at a rapid pace. I try it a couple of times, and then I realize that it isn't going to work. Again in my infinite wisdom, I poke it, and of course, again, the Recluse scurries out. I did not want it near my desk, so I made it go up. Bad choice.
The next thing I know, the spider is on the ceiling. And I realize that I'm in trouble. There's this something called gravity, and the spider was right above me. Obviously, it would not be excessively pleasant for a spider to land on my face - especially given my pseudo-arachnophobia. So I finally use a container, and I place it directly under the spider, holding it to the top to the ceiling. But the spider's legs are strong. More importantly, however, the spider has some brains. Perhaps amounting to more than what I have. I move the container away from the ceiling, sure that everything would be fine and the spider would be caught in the container. Wrong. It was still up there, and of course, seeing that the threat was over, it started scurrying again.
At this time I was completely concentrated on the spider, and I had totally forgotten my surroundings. Note to self and others: that's not good! Trying to catch the spider again, I bumped on the rod that held the curtains, and it came down with a crash. I was sure the spider was laughing, and my grandparents next door were stirring - I had to stop. But with the spider just above, I dared not put the rod back on. It was in shambles anyway, so I did the natural thing and reassembled it. Meanwhile, I regained my stubbornness, or maybe should I say my excessive fear, and I went back to trying to catch the spider, thinking there was a chance it could somehow wander to my bed.
Same old routine with the container. Place it on the ceiling, hold it, see what the spider does. Same result. Spider's pretty smart. Except, oh no! OH NO!!! It fell. In utter shock, I scramed back, and for a couple of minutes was dumbfolded enough to stare at the original location of the spider. Where did it go? Was it dead (yeah, right)? For 15 minutes I jumped back and forth, wanting to get the spider - I was definitely going to kill it this time - but then realizing that I could just as easily accidently find it, either stepped on or on my hand. I did not want to get bitten, so like a snake-handler dealing with the deadliest snake in the world, I used the fallen rod to chew through whatever stuff that was near where the spider could've fallen. While doing that, it seemed that every time, I felt there was a spider on me. Perhaps I screamed like a girl a couple of times, I don't know. I kept feeling that stuff was tingling inside my shirt.
Eventually, I did find it. Of course, subsequently I lost it again. But knowing the vicinity of the spider at least, the HAZMAT team of myself deemed it safe to go on my computer again. I was going to end this long, drawn-out story with a "so it's still scurrying around, in the darkness", which of course is not entirely false, but I just spotted it on my window while I was typing this! No doubt moving about, going where it wants to go. For me, I'm giving up. Just too tired and have to clean up from my stupidity. Still got some work that I vowed to do the hour before I sleep.
Kudos to the spider. Shame on me.
What a night.
I guess they had to take one of the jewels and he suffered for MONTHS!