Lady or a Real Woman?
Posted: Thu Aug 07, 2003 1:40 pm
Ladies - If you accidentally over-salt a dish while it's still cooking,
drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an instant
"fix-me-up."
Real Women - If you over-salt a dish while you are cooking, that's too
damn bad. Please recite with me, The Real Women's motto: "I made it and you
will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes."
***************************************************
Ladies - Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on
your forehead. The throbbing will go away.
Real Women - Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill and drink. You might
still have the headache, but who cares?
************************************************************
Ladies - Stuff a miniature marshmallow In the bottom of a sugar cone to
prevent ice cream drips.
Real Women - Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone,for
Pete's sake. You are probably lying your butt on the couch, with your feet up
anyway.
*************************************************************
Ladies - To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the
potatoes.
Real Women - Buy boxed mashed potato mix and you don't have to worry about
the potatoes growing arms and legs.
*************************************************************
Ladies - When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit
of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the inside
of the cake.
Real Women - Go to the bakery - they'll even decorate the s.o.b. for you.
*************************************************************
Ladies - Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to yield
a beautiful glossy finish.
Real Women - Sara Lee frozen freakin pie directions do not include
brushing egg whites over sh*t, so I don't do it.
*************************************************************
Ladies - If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dishwashing
gloves. They give a non slip grip that makes opening jars easy.
Real Women - Go ask the very HOT neighbor guy to do it.
*************************************************************
And finally the most important tip....
Ladies - Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes for
future use in casseroles and sauces.
Real Women - Leftover wine??
************************************************************
A good friend will come and bail you out of jail...but, a true friend will
be sitting next to you saying, "Damn...that was fun!"
drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an instant
"fix-me-up."
Real Women - If you over-salt a dish while you are cooking, that's too
damn bad. Please recite with me, The Real Women's motto: "I made it and you
will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes."
***************************************************
Ladies - Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on
your forehead. The throbbing will go away.
Real Women - Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill and drink. You might
still have the headache, but who cares?
************************************************************
Ladies - Stuff a miniature marshmallow In the bottom of a sugar cone to
prevent ice cream drips.
Real Women - Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone,for
Pete's sake. You are probably lying your butt on the couch, with your feet up
anyway.
*************************************************************
Ladies - To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the
potatoes.
Real Women - Buy boxed mashed potato mix and you don't have to worry about
the potatoes growing arms and legs.
*************************************************************
Ladies - When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit
of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the inside
of the cake.
Real Women - Go to the bakery - they'll even decorate the s.o.b. for you.
*************************************************************
Ladies - Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to yield
a beautiful glossy finish.
Real Women - Sara Lee frozen freakin pie directions do not include
brushing egg whites over sh*t, so I don't do it.
*************************************************************
Ladies - If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dishwashing
gloves. They give a non slip grip that makes opening jars easy.
Real Women - Go ask the very HOT neighbor guy to do it.
*************************************************************
And finally the most important tip....
Ladies - Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes for
future use in casseroles and sauces.
Real Women - Leftover wine??
************************************************************
A good friend will come and bail you out of jail...but, a true friend will
be sitting next to you saying, "Damn...that was fun!"
It's more fun that way