TOP 5 SMART ASS ANSWERS FOR 2004

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sunny
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TOP 5 SMART ASS ANSWERS FOR 2004

#1 Postby sunny » Mon Jan 24, 2005 1:58 pm

TOP 5 SMART ARSE ANSWERS FOR 2004...according to Reader's Digest:

Smart Arse Answer #5:

A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket, instead he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat....she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub."
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Smart Arse Answer #4:

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy replied,"No ma'am, they're dead."
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Smart Arse Answer #3:

The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said. The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could." When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on is way without a ticket.

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Smart Arse Answer #2:

A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads, "Low Bridge Ahead." Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks up to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says,"Got stuck, huh?" The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas."

AND NOW........FOR THE..........BEST ONE.........
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# 1 SMART ARSE ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2004.......................

A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!"

A smart ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?"

The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence is finally restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at the student, shakes her head and sweetly says "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."
Last edited by sunny on Mon Jan 24, 2005 2:10 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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alicia-w
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#2 Postby alicia-w » Mon Jan 24, 2005 2:09 pm

those are great.
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#3 Postby depotoo » Mon Jan 24, 2005 2:14 pm

love it!! lol
thought the teenager & the cop was so funny!
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#4 Postby sunny » Mon Jan 24, 2005 2:16 pm

depotoo wrote:love it!! lol
thought the teenager & the cop was so funny!


i liked that one, too!
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#5 Postby southerngale » Mon Jan 24, 2005 2:20 pm

:roflmao:
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#6 Postby Andrew92 » Mon Jan 24, 2005 3:20 pm

:roflmao: :roflmao: AAAAAAAAHHAHAHAAAHAHAAHAHA!!!! :roflmao: :roflmao:

Excuse me while I go take some anti-laughing pills. I can't contain myself! :roflmao:

-Andrew92
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#7 Postby Andrew92 » Mon Jan 24, 2005 3:23 pm

Oh wait, I forgot.....

Laughter is the best medicine, isn't it?

Hmmmm....anti-laughing pills would depress me and then I wouldn't be happy.

I think I'd rather just laugh! :roflmao:

Am I being a smart arse for saying all this?

-Andrew92
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#8 Postby HurricaneGirl » Tue Jan 25, 2005 7:28 am

Those are funny.. :roflmao: Thanks for sharing sunny! :sun:
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#9 Postby Stormsfury » Tue Jan 25, 2005 9:35 am

They're all funny, but the teenager/cop one was far the funniest one...
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#10 Postby pojo » Tue Jan 25, 2005 1:20 pm

sounds like something Bill Engvall would do for "here's your sign"
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#11 Postby HurricaneGirl » Tue Jan 25, 2005 1:37 pm

When I as in my teens, I bought a book called MAD's Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions. I read it so many times I had it memorized. To this day I still use some of the responses. :)
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