Real part of hurricane season calls for vital tips

[HurricaneJoe22]

Palm Beach Post columnist Frank Cerabino's tips:
http://www.palmbeachpost.com/localnews/ ... _0827.html

By Frank Cerabino
Palm Beach Post Staff Writer

This would be a good time to go over the rules again, because it appears we have entered the real part of hurricane season.

There's that pretend part of the season that starts on June1, and then there's the real part that starts sometime in the middle of August and goes on in earnest through September.

That's the part we're in now. We were fortunate, in a way, to have Tropical Storm Fay as a dress rehearsal.

It served the purpose of allowing many people in the Treasure Coast to take their rowboats out for a shakedown cruise through their neighborhoods.

And it gave the South Florida Water Management District a chance to remind homeowners that their submerged lawns were still under drought restrictions for sprinklers.

Hurricane Gustav, the one that's heading for the Gulf of Mexico, is shaping up to be a serious hurricane, and behind it is a theoretical list - Hanna, Ike, Josephine, Kyle, Laura, Marco, Nana, Omar - just waiting to be formed.

So this would be a good time to go over a few things. I know you've already been inundated with a lot of sensible advice.

But I doubt it has covered the following 10 items:

1. Lock up your tigers

Three Palm Beach County schools were in a lockdown because a tiger and a lion in an Acreage wildlife sanctuary managed to leave their enclosures as Fay approached.

Leave No Child Behind With a Tiger.

2. Don't scare others

If you consult the National Hurricane Center's Tropical Prediction Center Web site during the approach of a storm, it's OK to describe the predicted storm's path as its "cone of probabilities." It is not OK to describe the oblong depiction of the path as "the hot dog of death."

3. Brush up on your astronomy

The conditions for stargazing are usually poor in South Florida because of light pollution and our humid haze. But the cleansing whoosh of a hurricane, which knocks out both electricity and surface haze, makes for more star visibility than you ever imagined.

Learn to identify the stars in the night sky so that you can amuse yourself and amaze your neighbors during those long, post-hurricane looter watches on your lawn.

4. Stop eating canned tuna

This way, it won't taste so bad if you have to live off it for a few days after the storm.

5. Kick your caffeine addiction

One of the most humbling parts of surviving a power-snuffing hurricane is trying to get your morning coffee fix.

Take it from me, a guy who waited too long at a Dunkin' Donuts and roamed my neighborhood with an empty coffee cup like a beggar.

6. Avoid I-95

Before, during and after the storm. Come to think of it, avoid it from November to June, too.

7. Ten digits for the pets

I've read the advice to horse owners, who are told to mark their animals' hides with phone numbers, in case they wander away in the storm.

Good advice. But what if your Chihuahua, Shih Tzu or toy poodle gets outside during the storm? There's no telling where they'll land.

So for smaller pets, be sure to include your area code on the numbers you write on them.

8. Leave early*

(*Does not apply if you are at a show in the Kravis Center)

9. Wind damage = Christmas card opportunity

If you do get a storm, dress the family up in red and green and have them pose for the annual family photo shoot in front of a downed tree or some other suitable scene of suburban rubble to spice up your holiday card.

10. Be extra kind to your neighbors

Especially the ones with big generators.