New Hurricane Categories
Category 1: "Wussy." Street signs blow over, bushes and shrubs are damaged, housecats meow slightly more loudly. Plan for these storms by duct taping your shrubs, and shaking your fist triumphantly at Mother Nature for throwing such a weak-wussy storm at you.
Category 2: "Mildly Alarming." Houses moan, some of the sicker looking trees may fall over, shingles blow off, small children complain. Planning: duct tape all the sick trees you may have on your property, as well as duct taping X-es on your windows. This lets the wind know not to blow the glass in. Purchase bottled water, before everyone else snaps it up.
Category 3: "Deeply Frightening." Houses collapse, mobile homes cease to exist in any normal functioning sense of the word, healthy trees surrender. Planning: duct tape everything on your property, including the dog. Buy plywood and nail it over the windows-- after first duct taping X-es over the glass. Purchase bottled water and bleach. This is so if it looks like you're going to die, you can add the bleach to the water and drink it.
Category 4: "Holy Cow." Buildings fall, cars fly through the air, walls bleed, large sea mammals are carried several miles inland, entire regions disappear completely. Planning: Cover your entire house with duct tape X-es to try and fool the hurricane into thinking the whole place is a gigantic window. Nail as much wood as you can find to the outside of the duct tape. Lock yourself and your family and dog in the basement with the bottled water and bleach, and maybe some canned goods, a portable generator, and a gun to ward off looters in the apocalyptic aftermath that is sure to follow.
Category 5: "The End Of The World." All trace of humanity is picked up several yards into the air and converted into bite-sized pieces, the Biblical leviathan surfaces from the depths, hell rises up and swallows mankind whole. Planning: forget the duct tape. Get into the basement and make peace with God.
New Hurricane Categories
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The posts in this forum are NOT official forecasts and should not be used as such. They are just the opinion of the poster and may or may not be backed by sound meteorological data. They are NOT endorsed by any professional institution or STORM2K. For official information, please refer to products from the National Hurricane Center and National Weather Service.
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southerngale
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New Hurricane Categories
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Category 5
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JonathanBelles
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