Florida Hurricane Preparedness (Humor)

[B-Bear]

I copied and pasted this from another bulletin board I frequent. A little humor to break the tension never hurts:

Subject: FW: HURRICANE EVACUATION ROUTE:

EVACUATION ROUTE:
If you live in a low-lying area, you should have an evacuation route
planned out. (To determine whether you live in a low-lying area, look at
your driver's license; if it says "Florida," you live in a low-lying
area).
The purpose of having an evacuation route is to avoid being trapped in
your home when a major storm hits. Instead, you will be trapped in a gigantic traffic jam several miles from your home, along with two hundred
thousand other evacuees. So, as a bonus, you will not be lonely.

HURRICANE SUPPLIES:
If you don't evacuate, you will need a mess of supplies. Do not buy them
now! Florida tradition requires that you wait until the last possible
minute, then go to the supermarket and get into vicious fights with
strangers over who gets the last can of SPAM. In addition
to food and water, you will need the following supplies:

23 flashlights. At least $167 worth of batteries that turn out, when the
power goes off, to be the wrong size for the flashlights.

Bleach. (No, I don't know what the bleach is for. NOBODY knows what the
bleach is for, but it's traditional, so GET some!)

A big knife that you can strap to your leg. (This will be useless in a hurricane, but it looks cool.)

A large quantity of raw chicken, to placate the alligators. (Ask anybody
who went through Andrew; after the hurricane, there WILL be irate alligators.)

$35,000 in cash or diamonds so that, after the hurricane passes, you can
buy a generator from a man with no discernible teeth.

Of course, these are just basic precautions. As the hurricane draws near, it is vitally important that you keep abreast of the situation by turning on your television and watching TV reporters in rain slickers stand right next to the ocean and tell you over and over how vitally important it
is for everybody to stay away from the ocean.

Good luck, and remember: It's great living in Paradise.

[Ziplock48]

Can anyone telll me what was responsible for steering Charley Right at the Zero hour?
synoptic reasoning hoped for.
Zip

[HeartofNC]

Don't we need to get Jim Cantore to Miami, then the storm will steer away from there - ? or is that someone else now?

[B-Bear]

Don't we need to get Jim Cantore to Miami, then the storm will steer away from there - ? or is that someone else now?

Having Geraldo there could only help. Especially if someone buries a vault in the sand on the beach.