I've been watching this board intently all week, but haven't posted, as I do not have the weather expertise that many of you have. However, I think I may be able to shed some light on what this board will look like come landfall tonight.
Please, don't take offense to this anyone - this is meant as a lighthearted post....
8 PM - Radar shows that the eyewall of the hurricane is only 10 miles from the Florida coast and tracking due west. Hurricane Lover asserts that "this is a Carolina storm". Heated discussion ensues.
8:05 PM- Pebbles declares that she is "DOING THE HURRICANE FRANCES DANCE" and gives *HUGGERS* to everyone.
8:06 PM - After reading Pebbles' post, 75% of the men on this board realize that they haven't seen their wives/girlfriends in a week and a half because they have been watching this board so closely. (Many of them would later find out that their wives/girlfriends have left them after finding matchbooks with "Frances" and recon numbers listed and mistaking them for the phone number of another woman.)
8:07 PM - Traffic on this board mysteriously drops by over 50%.
8:09 PM - Google servers crash when over one million searches reading "Pebbles Hurricane Frances Dance Webcam" are submitted.
8:20 PM - After ten minutes of no posts, traffic on this board returns to full capacity as a bunch of disappointed men return from Google after registering no hits.
8:25 PM - Numerous board members receive the "Could not connect to the database error" and post angry messages to the moderators.
8:30 PM - All posts about the "could not connect error" mysteriously disappear.
8:32 PM - The moderators of the board collectively decide to take the board out of commission after Frances is finished. Each decides to go back to school to learn either Rocket Science or Brain Surgery, as they realize that those two professions are "just a lot easier then keeping a bunch of weather fanatics happy."
8:45 PM - Hurricane Lover looks out his Miami window and sees Miami Heat Center Shaquille O'Neal (now at 400 lbs) fly by in his Kazaam movie outfit. He asserts confidently on the board that "This is a Carolina storm". After reading the post, Burn01 quickly concurs with this assessment. Heated discussion ensues.
8:47 PM - AirForceMet, upon reading Hurricane Lover's post, becomes so frustrated that he spontaneously combusts.
8:49 PM - PTPatrick and rsm agree to disagree, ending an 8-hour argument as to whether Biloxi should be called Redneck Las Vegas or the Redneck Riviera. Fortunately, calmer heads have prevailed.
8:50 PM - Derek Ortt, having lost power, remains committed to providing quality forecasts. He quickly devises an ingenious system by which his hamster, running on a wheel, powers his laptop so that he can continue posting without electricity.
9:10 PM - Hurricane Frances (eyewall only 10 miles from the Florida coast) sees Jim Cantore standing on the pier. The storm takes a hard-right turn and heads NE towards the North Carolina coast.
9:20 PM- After watching the radar, the board comes to the agreement that the storm is heading for North Carolina. Hurricane Lover declares victory and writes a 2,000 word "I TOLD YOU SO" post.
9:37 PM - The NHC finally gets around to posting its 8 PM update. Ivan is now a hurricane and its projected track remains the same. Hurricane Lover quickly declares that "Ivan landfalling in North Carolina is "almost a certainty at this point". Heated discussion ensues.
10 PM - The state of Florida offers Jim Cantore a deputy governor position, on the condition that he will stand on the pier when any hurricane approaches. North Carolina, still hoping to avoid Frances and Ivan, quickly makes a counteroffer.
Anyway, hopefully this got a few laughs and is taken as lightheartedly as it was written. If anyone was offended, please post and I'll remove your name. To the moderators - thanks for working so hard to keep this board up for the past few days. I am in the IT field and can relate to how difficult of a task this must have been, given the populatiry of the board. Everyone in the path of the hurricane - please stay safe.
Predictions for tonight (Humor only - not real predictions)
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deb_in_nc wrote:North Carolina doesn't need Cantore. They have me. I just moved from the West Palm area in May. Did you notice how easily I turned away Floyd? Cantore eat your heart out.
Debbie
I was wondering when you were going to chime in here Debbie. Looks like you got out in the nick of time!!
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