The Best of Late Night...

[TexasStooge]

Just got this via E-mail:

"The Miss Universe Pageant was last night. Miss France was ejected after head butting another contestant."

-David Letterman



"Have you seen this kid from Orange County that became a terrorist? You can tell he's from Orange County because instead of infidel he says, "infi-dudes."

-Jay Leno



"California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger is over $100,000 in debt. This means there will be a "Terminator 4."

-Conan O'Brien



"A new article in "Newsweek" is out talking about what it's like to be an atheist. I actually have a friend that's an atheist, and married to a Jehovah Witness. Their kids are a little strange. They go out and knock on doors but don't know why."

-Jay Leno



"The results of a new study are out this week saying that New Jersey is one of the most livable states in the country. The study has a margin of error of 100 percent."

-Conan O'Brien



"As I'm sure you've heard by now, the airlines are saying no more hair gels, shampoo, makeup or hair sprays will be allowed in your carry-on bag. Who's attacking us? Drag queens?"

-Jay Leno