Why did the chicken cross the road?

[angelwing]

Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?




PAT BUCHANAN
To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.




JERRY FALWELL & RUSH LIMBAUGH (Joint Statement)

Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other side." That's what "they" call it ... the "other side." Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side." That chicken should not be free to cross the road. Its against the laws of man and nature and the rule of law must prevail. It's as plain and simple as that.


DR. SEUSS
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes! The chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed, I've not been told!


ERNEST HEMINGWAY

To die in the rain.


MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.


GRANDPA
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us
that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.


ARISTOTLE
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.



KARL MARX
It was an historical inevitability.


SADDAM HUSSAIN
This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.


RONALD REAGAN



What Chicken?





CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK
To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.






FOX MULDER
You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross before you believe it?


FREUD
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.



BILL GATES
I have just released eChicken 99, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook... and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.



EINSTEIN
Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken?



BILL CLINTON
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by chicken? Could you define chicken please?



GEORGE W. BUSH
I don't think I should have to answer that question.



LOUIS FARRAKHAN
The road, you will see, represents the black man. The chicken crossed he "black man" in order to trample him and keep him down.



THE BIBLE
And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shall cross the road" And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.



COLONEL SANDERS



I missed one?

[Brent]

John Kerry: I think he crossed the road before he didn't cross the road.

[wx247]

Dick Cheney: Actually, he didn't cross the road because I shot him!

[wx247]

Here's a few more:

George W. Bush: It is obvious his crossing the road was prompted by terrorists. I assume this bird is from North Korea, Iran, or Iraq.

John Edwards: The chicken crossed the road? I'll sue his sorry a&* for negligence.

Hillary Clinton: It is all part of the vast right wing conspiracy.

Ted Kennedy: Because it couldn't swim. I should know.

Robert Novak: I will not release who informed me that the chicken was crossing the road even if it means jail time. I realize that it endangered that chicken's life, but I don't care.

Fox News: FOX NEWS ALERT: Why did the chicken cross the road? Could terrorists be responsible. Greta is on scene.

MSNBC: To get away from Rita Cosby's annoying voice.

[JonathanBelles]

some of these are very funny!

[Brent]

Those were good Garrett.

[wxmann_91]

Descartes: Did it actually cross the road? Your senses could be lying!

Newton: A gravitational force acted upon the chicken from another celestial body.

Machiavelli: It was exerting fear to those on the other side to keep the state in stability.

Locke: It learned from other chickens that crossing the road was the route to achieve the fullest potential.

John Stuart Mill: It decided that it had the right to its own opinion in crossing the road, and thus, it did.

[Dee Bee]

More, please!!