Its been three years....

[yoda]

I can't believe its really been three years folks. Yes indeed, three years and I am still here. For you people who don't really know me very well, I have a mental illness called rapid cycling bipolar disorder. I'm not on any meds, but that is a whole different story. Anyway, three years ago, I first started into this deep chasm and attempted suicide. Luckliy for me, I survived because not only did I not know what I was doing, I also wasn't completely sure I wanted to die yet. Its also been nearly two years since my near-hospitalization due to my "deep suicide attempt." I got pretty far on March 2005, and I nearly ended up in the hospital that night because of what I did. I didn't end up there because I was by myself and I was scared, and I hoped that what I did would pass and I would get better. Again, I did. Since then, I haven't attempted "fully" suicide again. I consider that a major accomplishment.

It has been helpful to have certain people on this board to talk to, such as Miss Mary or depotoo, Sunny or Rainband, and there are MANY others as well. Its been a long journey, and one that will continue for months to come. But I do thank you all for helping me navigate this road, and be able to see at least partially what I do have to live for, even if I don't see it.

Anyway, I'm just blessed I guess that I am still here, blessed to have friends that care about me not only out here, but out in the world itself, and blessed to have my family who kinda understands. Its been a sad and long road, but I will strive to battle against this mental illness..... and hope that I never end up trying suicide again. For if I do, I know that it would only cause harm to many people...

Matthew McConnell

[CajunMama]

We're blessed to have you with us and to be able to call you our friend.

[therock1811]

Whether it's 3 years or 2 weeks, each day past diagnosis is another day towards a better life. In my case, it's been 2 weeks since I received my official diagnosis of depression. Each day I thank God I am still here.

[AussieMark]

I am bless also to call u my friend

I do like our chats we have

[JQ Public]

Glad to see you're here to contribute to the boards. You make it an enjoyable place to be

[Miss Mary]

Matt - I'm so glad we could be here for you. My heart aches for what you've been through but please know that should you ever feel that down and low again, all you have to do is reach out to us. Many more than you mentioned would listen, I know, in a heartbeat!

You are and remain a vital piece of our S2K puzzle Matt! Never forget that.

Wishing you my best, as always.

Mary

[alicia-w]

What a courageous young man you are. Truly an inspiration...

[Stephanie]

I'm happy for you yoda. I know that you said that the "meds" thing is a whole different story but IMHO, it is something that truly can be a life saver. I know from my own experience.

Please pm me if you ever want to talk. It's always great to have you around.

[DaylilyDawn]

I am also glad that you did not suceed with your suicide attempt. The disease you say you have is caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain. I am dealing with a grandson who may have that disease also.

Every post you make here is read and appreciated You do make a difference in the family of Storm2K members.

[kevin]

Yoda, you are in my thoughts. The fight is worth continuing. Good luck sir.

[wxmann_91]

Wow Matt, I did not know about this before. I'm glad you have rebounded from the incident. You are certainly in my thoughts and prayers for a continued recovery. Best wishes.