DICTIONARY FOR DECODING - Humor

[alicia-w]

DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS:

* 40-ish..............................49.
* Adventurous.........................Slept with everyone.
* Athletic............................No breasts.
* Average looking.....................Moooo.
* Beautiful...........................Pathological liar.
* Emotionally secure..................On medication.
* Feminist............................Fat.
* Free Spirit.........................Junkie.
* Friendship first....................Former Slut.
* New-Age.............................Body hair in the wrong places.
* Old-fashioned.......................No B.J.'s
* Open-minded.........................Desperate.
* Outgoing............................Loud and embarrassing.
* Professional........................mean lady.
* Voluptuous..........................Very fat.
* Large frame.........................Hugely fat.
* Wants soul mate.....................Stalker.

DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN'S ENGLISH:

* Yes...................................No
* No....................................Yes
* Maybe.................................No
* We need...............................I want
* I am sorry............................You'll be sorry
* We need to talk.......................You're in trouble
* Sure, go ahead........................You better not
* Do what you want......................You will pay for this later
* I am not upset........................Of course, I am upset, you
moron!
* You're attentive tonight..............Is sex all you ever think about?


DICTIONARY FOR DECODING MEN'S ENGLISH:

* I am hungry.............................I am hungry
* I am sleepy.............................I am sleepy
* I am tired..............................I am tired
* Nice dress..............................Nice cleavage!
* I love you..............................Let's have sex now
* I am bored..............................Do you want to have sex?
* May I have this dance?..................I'd like to have sex with you.

* Can I call you sometime.................I'd like to have sex with you.

* Do you want to go to a movie?...........I'd like to have sex with you.

* Can I take you out to dinner?...........I'd like to have sex with you.

* I don't think those shoes go with that outfit..............I'm gay.

[kevin]

Amen.

[brunota2003]

I've been looking for one of these!!! though I dont know if I'm ready to translate...

[tropicana]

thats funny
-justin-