This just in...

[angelwing]

This just in...

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats
and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon,
though, security levels may be raised yet again to"Irritated" or even "A
Bit Cross."Londoners have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940
when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized
from "Tiresome" to a "Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a
"Bloody Nuisance" warning level was during the great fire of 1666.

Also, the French government announced yesterday that it has raised its
terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in
France are "Surrender" and "Collaborate." The rise was precipitated by a
recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively
paralyzing the country's military capability.

It's not only the English and French that are on a heightened level of
alert. Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and
Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain:
"Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."

The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance"
to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher
levels: "Invade a Neighbor" and "Lose."

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the only
threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy.
These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy
can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

[Tstormwatcher]

lol

[P.K.]

Some of those are quite good.

[Yarrah]

Clichés at their best. Love it

[coriolis]

Those are very good, Angelwing and I'd like to use them for something else. Need a citation of their source. (Technically you should do that anyway unless you wrote it yourself. And if you did, that's fantastic)

[angelwing]

Hi coriolis,

It was something that I got in my email from a friend, she loves to pass on jokes, I'll see if she has a source for you.

[Yarrah]

If you copy/paste the first sentence into google, you'll find some sources.

[Pburgh]

Those are sooooo cute. Thanks angelwing

[coriolis]

If it was in one of those endlessly forwarded emails, I wouldn't worry about it. That's practically public domain in my book. I'll just say "received by email."