Laws of Life

[Dee Bee]

ADDITIONS TO MURPHY'S LAW

Law of Mechanical Repair
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch, or you'll have to go to the bathroom.

Law of the Workshop
Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

Law of Probability
The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

Law of the Telephone
If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.

Law of the Alibi
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you'll have a flat tire.

Variation Law
If you change grocery store lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you moved to (Works every time!).

Law of the Bath
When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

Law of Close Encounters
The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you're with someone you don't want to be seen with.

Law of the Result
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

Law of Biomechanics
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

Law of the Theater
At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

Law of Coffee
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

Law of Lockers
If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

Law of Rugs/Carpets
The chances of an open-faced peanut butter or jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.

Law of Location
No matter where you go, there you are.

Law of Logical Argument
Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

Law of Footwear
If the shoe fits (very comfortably), it's ugly.

Law of Discretion
A closed mouth gathers no feet.

Law of Cosmetics  
As soon as you find a product or color that you really like, the company will stop making it. (This one is true every time!)  

Law of Medical Appointments 
If you don't feel well, make an appointment with the doctor. By the time you get there, you'll feel better. Conversely, if you don't make an appointment, you'll stay sick.