How to keep a healthy level of insanity.

[David]

1. AT LUNCH TIME, SIT IN YOUR PARKED CAR WITH SUNGLASSES
> ON AND POINT A HAIR DRYER AT PASSING CARS.
> SEE IF THEY SLOW DOWN.
>
> 2. PAGE YOURSELF OVER THE INTERCOM,
> DON'T DISGUISE YOUR VOICE.
>
> 3. EVERY TIME SOMEONE ASKS YOU TO DO SOMETHING,
> ASK IF THEY WANT THAT SUPER SIZED.
>
>4. PUT YOUR GARBAGE CAN ON YOUR DESK AND LABEL IT "IN."
>
>5. PUT DECAF IN THE COFFEE MAKER FOR 3 WEEKS. ONCE
> EVERYONE HAS GOTTEN OVER THEIR CAFFEINE ADDICTIONS,
> SWITCH TO ESPRESSO.
>
>6. IN THE MEMO FIELD OF ALL YOUR CHECKS, WRITE
> "FOR SEXUAL FAVORS."
>
>7. FINISH ALL YOUR SENTENCES WITH "IN ACCORDANCE WITH
> THE PROPHECY."
>
>8. DON'T USE PUNCTUATION
>
>9. AS OFTEN AS POSSIBLE, SKIP RATHER THAN WALK.
>
>10. ASK PEOPLE WHAT GENDER THEY ARE.
>
>11. SPECIFY THAT YOUR DRIVE-THROUGH ORDER IS "TO GO."
>
>12. SING ALONG AT THE OPERA.
>
>13. GO TO A POETRY RECITAL AND ASK WHY THE POEMS
> DON'T RHYME.
>
>14. PUT MOSQUITO NETTING AROUND YOUR WORK AREA & PLAY
> A TAPE OF JUNGLE SOUNDS ALL DAY.
>
>15. FIVE DAYS IN ADVANCE, TELL YOUR FRIENDS YOU CAN'T
> ATTEND THEIR PARTY BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT IN THE MOOD.
>
>16. HAVE YOUR COWORKERS ADDRESS YOU BY YOUR WRESTLING
> NAME, ROCK HARD
>
>17. WHEN THE MONEY COMES OUT OF THE ATM, SCREAM
> "I WON, I WON! 3RD TIME THIS WEEK!!!!!"
>
>18. WHEN LEAVING THE ZOO, START RUNNING TOWARDS THE
> PARKING LOT, YELLING "RUN FOR YOUR LIVES, THEY'RE LOOSE!!"
>
>19. TELL YOUR CHILDREN OVER DINNER, "DUE TO THE ECONOMY,
> WE ARE GOING TO HAVE TO LET ONE OF YOU GO."

[JCT777]

LOL! Great list.

[Pburgh]

Those are great!!! I'll try the second one in a few minutes. lol

[Colin]

LOLOLOLOL! Those are awesome!

[Pro-Storm]

hey David man.......do you write these ? Just curious :38:

[David]

No, I got it in a forward.

[Amanzi]

Those are tooo funny! I love the jungle sounds one... I wonder how many skew looks I would get if I tried it